Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
A rich inner world has always been a factor in my life but a story did not start to form until I was 7. A line was spoken in a TV show that sparked something in me that has never died. I don't remember the TV show or the line. It was just part of some random dramatic scene in a teen drama my aunt was engrossed in.
I wonder how the actor would feel knowing what a profound effect that line had on my life. Pride or maybe pity. I can't imagine because I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel about MDD.
My gut instinct it that this is a gift. A muse that is waiting to be acted on. I have never once tried to stop it. I saw little point. it literally never occurred to me to try to even curb it.
The one thing I would like to change is how difficult it is to slip to a new task, from daydreaming to doing. I guess I like to pick tasks where I can do both. When something needs real concentration it can take a long time to get into the right zone.
As a child, I was always alone. I think I'm just wired differently. Social interaction was something that left me wondering no one wanted to play with me and why everyone wanted to bother me to play whenever I was doing something interesting like drawing or playing legos. I do feel if my family did not make me feel so ashamed I would have been quite content but I wasn't I hated myself for being a freak that had to lie go out to play with none existent friends my mother insisted to herself that I had.
Over my lifetime, I have found DD to be a wonderful muse. Whenever I look back on anything I have excelled in creating it is often related to DD.
Some good has resulted from DD. I do not claim to be a fantastic writer but I am chosen to write the blog and web content for the company I work for and my drawing skills help me explain ideas to clients.
On the other hand, I can truly say I have no friends and have never had friends. With exception of my partner of 16 years. That might be unfair. After all this time I do find myself getting on quite well with one person.
It leaves me with the question, did MDD cause this or help me live with this?