This is who I am...

[Nikki K]

I've been maladaptive daydreaming since as early as I can remember, at least since fifth grade, probably earlier. I never knew that it had a name until I happened across the term a couple months ago. I was immediately intrigued and researched everything I could on it. There's so much that I've read so far that just coincides exactly with what I've been feeling my whole life. I always assumed that there were other people out there somewhere in the world that struggled with this too, but I never realized how weird I thought I was until I read about this and realized how many people there are like me. 

Around middle school I decided that "daydreaming" wasn't an adequate enough term to describe what I struggled with, so I gave it a new name, just for my own use in my journals. I called it "dream-thinking." I now have over 10 years worth of journal entries about my struggles with dream-thinking. I've tried to overcome it on my own in many, many different ways throughout the years. Sometimes I don't fight it at all. I've had ups and downs; I've gone entire weeks without seriously dream-thinking, and I've also wasted entire weeks dream-thinking. I still haven't overcome it.

I'm not sure exactly where to go from here. The thing is, maladaptive daydreaming isn't all bad. It's gotten me through some really hard times. I'm not sure if I really want to cut it out of my life entirely. But one thing is sure: I want to get control of it, instead of letting it control me. I'm fairly in control right now, I have a very very good life and I'm very blessed. I am able to focus enough to function normally as a university student and I have good friends, so no complaints. But I still turn to daydreaming whenever things get stressful or there's just homework that I don't want to do. I've noticed that if I try really hard, I can keep myself from starting to daydream, but once I start I'm completely gone until I run the daydream dry. I've skipped classes, missed homework assignments, and ditched out of social events that I actually really would have liked to go to. Like many of you, I love writing, and would love to harness my daydreaming into writing a fantasy novel as I've dreamed of doing since I was a child. But I can't succeed in that, or in much of anything, until I get control of this addiction.

I'm really glad I found this site, and am excited to see how everyone else deals with maladaptive daydreaming. I'm hoping to understand more about this from all of you. :)

[Nikki K]

Thanks for your support!  We'll figure this out together!

[Fallen Messenger]

     I feel like our stories are one in the same. How I found out about maladaptive daydreaming is basically the same way that you found out. I am not as good with my journal keeping as you, but I write about the same thing. But there is one thing that really stands out that I agree with "The thing is, maladaptive daydreaming isn't all bad. It's gotten me through some really hard times. I'm not sure if I really want to cut it out of my life entirely. But one thing is sure: I want to get control of it, instead of letting it control me. I'm fairly in control right now." That is how I feel most of the time. Sure there are time where I want to reject that part of me, but it still is a viable coping mechanism to get through some tough times.

     I hope you find what you are looking for on this site. And I have to tell you that this site is probably the tightest-knit but yet the most accepting community I've ever seen. I wish I could meet everyone in real life. Everyone is so understanding and kind, so never be afraid to ask for help from anyone. I hope you are blessed on your journey that is life with Maladaptive Daydreaming.

[MatthewR]

Welcome to WM! I, too, would rather manage MD than get rid of it completely. I've been doing this all my life. What was a childhood distraction became a life-long bad habit. It gets the better of me more times than not, unfortunately. Like you, I've tried to overcome it on my own many times, but it's so compulsive. Once it starts, it's so difficult to let go, and then hours of my life are wasted. I hope you manage to finish school. I dropped out over a decade ago. It still kinda haunts me that i spent so much time in my head instead of living my life and applying myself. I hope you can avoid the same fate. Good luck to you, and welcome again!