Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
This isn't much of a blog post in my opinion, but I just want to vent.
I do extemporaneous public speaking competitions for FFA at my school. That kinf of public speaking is where you have a few minutes to prepare a speech out of a little but of info. The reason I put myself, a complete introvert, into this position, was because my idealized self is a public speaker. And a very famous public speak at that. Because in my head I am able to perfect those speeches, it causes me to think very lowly of myself in real life. I am a very bad public speaker, and I know that, but I still want to be as good as my idealized self in my head. It hurts to know that I will never be as good as her no matter how hard I try. I don't want fame because I'm an introvert, but I want to be her. I want to be her so badly that is crumbles my self esteem into nothing. I feel as if I'm living in her shadow, even though nobody knows she exists.
That's basically all I have to say, but please vent below with your similar experiences or maybe ways to help my esteem. I'm open to suggestions. Thanks for reading!