Jessica Ballantyne's Blog – February 2021 Archive (5)

How far addiction takes you

I jumped into MD, without analyzing what was actually wrong with me first. It started in the late 90's when I was only 12. I was so young and inexperienced, I wasn't aware of what harm it can do. I'm now informed that I may have Asperger syndrome, but back then I hadn't a clue. I had trouble reading emotions and understanding people's body language; what they meant in their attitudes. I always believed every cloud has a silver lining. I didn't take their hints and comments personally…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on February 27, 2021 at 9:00am — No Comments

Staring into space

Has anybody had trouble with staring into space for a number of years, because they were locked in a story or they were longing for something? Has it changed your health? I did this for as long as I can remember, and it's effected my brain age. 

Added by Jessica Ballantyne on February 10, 2021 at 4:09pm — 2 Comments

If it hadn't started

I have regrets. If I hadn't been daydreaming the way I did—my life would've looked so much better today. I wouldn't still be dependent at 34. And I'd be happy with what I'm doing. I probably could've had a few partners and traveled places. The problem was I wasn't here, and what I did was maladaptive. I even remember when some of my jobs literally got effected by my daydreaming. I've had employers and staff find out, and then I was out. 



Trouble is instead of…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on February 8, 2021 at 8:23am — 1 Comment

Traveling

I wanted to travel since I was 18. The summer I graduated from high school and got ready for college, I thought about studying art and freely just visiting places everywhere. Not realizing that it's a very expensive hassle to fly to other countries, let alone, you need to really plan your routes wisely. Well, when I was in college, I decided to take a road trip to New York. At this time, I was quite a daydreamer too. This would take place during reading week in February. I argued with my…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on February 5, 2021 at 3:35pm — 1 Comment

My Past

I quit doing maladaptive daydreaming, because it gets scary as I get older. I moved into a small village town, starting at 6, looking forward to making friends. Instead, I made many bullies. I was surrounded by crowds of people who didn't understand I had this special gift, and thought I was crazy. Also dumb, because I hardly ever expressed myself verbally. I rarely had a social life, and people began to talk, but especially about how my eyes swivelled around the…

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Added by Jessica Ballantyne on February 1, 2021 at 9:18am — 4 Comments

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