I've always wondered why I couldn't say "I love you". At first I thought it was just because the people I grew up with were mean, and why should I love them? Then I thought I was just weird. Now I'm realizing that I can't say I feel anything. I remember after I got my hair cut, the instructors were asking me if I liked it, expecting some sort of "I" statement back. All I could say was "She did a great job." and "It's great." For the life of me I couldn't give any sort of opinion starting with… Continue

Part of my healing as been trying to accept myself and avoiding comparing myself to what is "normal".  However, it still gets me down how completely isolated I am sometimes.  Yesterday I went and got my hair cut by this nice girl.  She was so bubbly and wouldn't quit trying to make small talk, which I'm bad at, hate, uninterested in, and don't find very useful.  Whenever people do that I just feel so uncomfortable.  I get winded trying to talk, and it's physically uncomfortable for me.  Plus I… Continue

Ok, so for my next story for class, I thought I'd try and write the blog of the person in my first story, Miles.  It's basically her chronicling her descent into madness as her sensitivities take over.  I have NO idea if it's good or completely boring.  Does anyone actually want to read this?  It's largely biographical, so I'm even more connected to it and even less aware of whether people want to read my boring issues.  It's not nearly done.  I just thought I'd post what I have so far in…

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I took a chance and emailed my prof about my anxiety and told her how bad the smacking is.  I didn’t say it was her that was smacking so much, only “people in class”.  I had mentioned it briefly on the first day, so she would know why if I was flinching or covering my ears.  I told her it’s not a good idea for me to do a presentation with my anxiety, and to my surprise, she understood.  I told her I’d like to do another assignment but would take the grade deduction if necessary.  She…

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First of all, to those who don't know, I have REALLY bad misophonia, which is extreme hatred of certain sounds.  There are some sounds that are so horrific to me that I'll pound on my ears and cry just to try and drown them out.  They're so bad, and I get so angry and horrified.  I've often wondered if it wouldn't be better just to be deaf and never hear anything rather than hear those sounds ever again.  The more frustrated I get, the more sensitive I am to the sound, so it just snowballs.…

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