TRYING TO HEAL? Does anyone feel shattered/ scared / anxious / devastated when they STOP DD

[eternally a child]

Ive recently become really fed up with my severe MDD. Ive realized how dependent upon it ive become and how my real life needs to begin. Since moving back with my mother - im an adult and it sucks- ive felt like ive reverted to a baby like state. Living on my own was hard / or only scary because of work and my loneliness was slowly killing me(I even worked alone) and my MDD and other issues were hitting me hard. BUT when I look back on my old life of being on my own im kind of amazed at myself because I had the strength and ability to take care of myself and I had no one to answer to. And I felt like an adult for once. in my family people get arranged marriages at a young age and women are the caretakers.its very old fashioned and for women to even drive and have an actual job or live alone usually NEVER happens. I am/was the black sheep you could say.

 

Anyway , along with the frustration ive felt from living at home again and missing my old independent life , ive also become tired of being alone/lonely and socially awkward ( I haven't had healthy intimacy ever and I haven't had a real friend in years) and im getting older now, and the point im supposed to be at in life has been passing me by. I used MDD to hide from the world and cope in a way or get my fake confidence and etc. BUT heres the thing: as soon as I have the IRL character's or made up people fade away and I stop the MDD , in that same moment I feel soo soo sad and alone and even cry immediately. the comfort I feel when I DD gone and I realize I haven't established any positive or healthy or REAL relationships in my life AT ALL and im even ashamed. Some days I say its ok to be alone and maybe its meant for me and that ive forgotten how to even be a friend or be a normal person. ive noticed that breaking free from this and snapping out of it is very scary. I don't want to stop though, but I was wondering if anyone out there felt shattered/  scared / anxious / devastated when they STOP DD

[JenBren]

I have never stopped DD'ing but I have had times when my time doing it has been severely restricted or reduced and yes, I become anxious, upset, and depressed. I need my DD time to deal with stress and not getting that time can literally make me twitchy and emotional. The more stress, the more time I need. The more time I need but don't get...well, it's a vicious circle at times. 

[yoya yoya]

I feel it all the time , but try to stop it grtadually or minimize it as much as u can . In the ssame time try to socialize gradually too. Good luck

[Faye]

Completely understand.I'm in a very similar situation so really you are not alone!

I feel exactly the same way. In fact recently I've been feeling embarrassed and really stupid for DDing hours on end about things that will literally never happen. Am working on replacing MD as a coping mechanism....its a long and difficult journey though....

[Aseel]

That exactly describes my situation,I stopped DDing but my life is empty,Like you having a close friend seems like a beautiful memory,it feels like ages since I talked my heart to someone or did activities with someone.Loneliness is a fact that I've to live with,that's what I tell myself but it's so hard to live with it,specially when I see people around me.

[Luna]

The exact same thing is happening to me right now. I got sick of my daydreaming so I killed off my main character and completely stopped. But that wrecked me. I really don't know how to live without MDD. I feel shattered, devastated, depressed and most of all, empty. It's just really hard and I don't know how to deal with it. Does anyone have any tips for dealing with life after MDD?

[Morella Damascena]

When I stop DDing, I am actually quite occupied in my life and think, "wow, I haven't daydream in so long!" Then I fall into the trap of daydreaming just a little, and then fall into the deep hole of daydreaming compulsively.

[Shadow Cat Sam]

Yes.

[Andy Sortman]

I know exactly what you are talking about. Fantasy can be a very powerful addiction, and we have withdrawal symptoms when we try to stop. But I believe it is still necessary for me to somehow escape the dream world and force myself to participate in real life. This is definitly a disease and one that deserves it's own unique treatment. I am happy that I found this web site. I dont think I can recover without support.  Thanks, Andy

[Andy Sortman]

An alcoholic cant have one little drink and expect to stay sober. For me it the same thing with fantasy. I just cant allow it at all or i will will soon be drunk from this sickness. But it so very hard to stop - Maybe even impossible.
 
Morella Damascena said:

When I stop DDing, I am actually quite occupied in my life and think, "wow, I haven't daydream in so long!" Then I fall into the trap of daydreaming just a little, and then fall into the deep hole of daydreaming compulsively.

[The1andonlyAbber]

If I go for more than 24 hours without daydreaming, I feel tired but hyper at the same time. I have a headache and can hardly think. I also feel like there's an enormous void inside of my head where my fantasy world once was. It's kind of scary how I'm utterly unable to stop.

[Andy Sortman]

I give up on trying to stop. It just takes too much effort. Now I am just trying to strike a balance between indulging in fantasy and dealing with real life. When I daydream too much I feel saturated and just stop, sort of like eating too much ice cream. It is a self-limiting problem. Excessive fantasy is a serious condition, but not fatal. It is good to talk about it. That is probably the only treatment we have.