"One day I will ask you, what you think about me" has broken my 2 months of DD abstinence. I've spent a week in rumination trance, observations and talking my thoughts. The good thing is that I learnt zero DD at work. The bad thing is limiting my sleep to have time for rumination. The worst thing is that I got emotional, really emotional, crying for no reason and almost having nervous breakdown. And now I'm back, ready to stop again and ready to take responsibility for what's…

I swear, I haven't been day-dreaming for almost 2 months. Some little dreams here and there, this is normal, but definitely I'm no longer having drop outs for hours or days. The achiever: I said it, I did it. But I'm still here, writing my blogs, getting rid from demons from the past, definitely attributed to my day-dreaming. Well, I don't know, maybe, if I said it publicly, it will go. Like Roger Water became a happier person after writing very personal The Wall. Maybe. So, up close and…

Just ask yourself, would you really be any happier, if your day-dreams came true? Wouldn't you be surprised, lost, embarrased? Wouldn't you ask yourself: what made me so special that I achieved all this without effort? Wouldn't you feel guilty that all the success / eternal love / super adventures / super powers came at once? Wouldn't you feel pressure? How would you handle this? And do you really deserve this? What makes you a better candidate than the others, working in the…

To leave the legacy... What will remain, when we're gone? Some "chosen" ones, like Jim Morrisson or Kurt Cobain still continue to influence the lives of others, but what would happen, if they decided not to try but to kept their music to themselves? And what about me? If I'm not so talented, is this the excuse?

Five years ago I learnt to make pivot tables. I came to the guys, who are preparing reports on daily basis and asked to show me, how to make it. The guy, who showed…