Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
To leave the legacy... What will remain, when we're gone? Some "chosen" ones, like Jim Morrisson or Kurt Cobain still continue to influence the lives of others, but what would happen, if they decided not to try but to kept their music to themselves? And what about me? If I'm not so talented, is this the excuse?
Five years ago I learnt to make pivot tables. I came to the guys, who are preparing reports on daily basis and asked to show me, how to make it. The guy, who showed me, how to sort the data and organize it in pivot table, is dead now, we didn't have any interaction afterwards but every time I'm preparing the tables, I remember about him. I know, it's too sentimental to idealize this small case but I just remembered him yesterday.
Four or three years ago my co-worker started to learn salsa. To be sincere, she's not the slimmest person in the world, not the youngest and not the best dancer. Before this, she looked like being in constant lethargy. She learnt some moves, danced somehow and then started teaching "troubled" teen girls to dance. One of those girls called her at night and said that she went to a club, danced like Jeniffer Lopez and her dream guy paid attention to her.
When I was at university, I took phylosophy classes. Ok, not voluntary but in our weird education system there are must-have classes on phylosophy, even if you study statistics. The only thing I remember from that was about the crime of not acting, or whatever it was called. German phylosopher Kant said that if we're not using our abilities to the full, this is a kind of crime, because we miss the chance to improve the world. I'm not a true altruist, I'm not saying, every second of our lives should be used to help the others, but actually, even if we don't help ourselves, this is a small crime. Developing ourselves, we develop the others, and only developing ourselves, we can help the others.
So, how does this relate to day-dreaming? I don't treat it as desease. Maybe, it will be proved one day, maybe I have it but maybe I'm just egoistic. You know, this is like a difference between clinical depression and being blue and whiny, while calling it depression. Day-dreaming is ok to relax or activate creative part of the brain, some watch movies, some read books, some day-dream. But when it gets excessive, I started to treat it as a small crime of not acting. Because if relaxing too much, we lose the chance to develop our abilities, to share, to influence, to improve something. Like teaching someone to make pivot tables or to dance like Jeniffer Lopez or writing a thing that will move at least one person. Every little thing counts.
There should be something that remains, when I'm gone.
P.S. Wow, I cut non-productive day-dreams totally, like "talk to Einstein". Substituting it with something, which can be at least partially realistic, like dreaming about travelling or developing new systems or preparing to talk to someone real. I day-dream in total around a hour per day, when running. The case of false "falling in love" and trancy Friday experience, when running market analysis at work do not count :)
@Julie Yes, any path is the right path as long as it provides fulfillment and sufficiency. My comment was tailored for EMF and her interest in Buddhism.
@Elude and Anette. I also think, I haven't tried so many things because I believe I wasn't capable enough. This is probably a common pattern, not only among day-dreamers :) I'm trying to force myself to act now, not always successfully but sometimes it works. There was a funny story about imperfections. In 70s the journalists were talking that punk music is not aspirational enough as it's so unprofessional, and Johnny Rotten said, that this was exactly the point - it's so imperfect that people think they also can do it. So, they take guitars and start to play. Sometimes, I prefer to learn about failures and imperfections to feel motivated :)
@Lauren. I think, it doesn't matter, what the universe really is, if this is the void, accident and simply the rules of physics. Even if this is true, we'd better never learn it, this makes us passive and life with no meaning. I prefer to think, we have mission to complete and as we use the benefits of this world, we have to do something as well. Which might be wrong and everything might be an accident or illusion. But I'd get maximum of benefits from the accident and to have a better illusion :)
@JuliaLaVey. Strange, strange education system. People studying education have obligatory classes on... market research (my sister) and people studying quantiative methods have obligatory classes on phylosophy. Total Renaissance. Maybe, this is how they are trying to improve our memory and patience :)
I may live on a planet the is in a universe but that doesn't change the fact that moral, values and emotions are a part of human life.
"Bodhidharma, the first Patriarch of Chán, visited the Emperor Wu, a fervent patron of Buddhism. The emperor asked Bodhidharma, "How much karmic merit have I earned for ordaining Buddhist monks, building monasteries, having sutras copied, and commissioning Buddha images?" Bodhidharma answered, "None. Good deeds done with worldly intent bring good karma, but no merit." The emperor then asked Bodhidharma, "So what is the highest meaning of noble truth?" Bodhidharma answered, "There is no noble truth, there is only void." The emperor then asked Bodhidharma, "Then, who is standing before me?" Bodhidharma answered, "I know not, Your Majesty."
German phylosopher Kant said that if we're not using our abilities to the full, this is a kind of crime, because we miss the chance to improve the world.
The Universe is not about our values, moral precepts, right or wrong... there's a normal course of events, life and death being just part of it. We are here because the laws of Physics allowed the existence of life and not because we are chosen, created by some anthropomorphic god, etc...
We are actually free, our only limitations being those that we acknowledge ourselves, therefore I find it hard to agree with the second part of Kant's statement, unless... we define "improving" as "becoming better prepared" in which case I would relegate it to a normal course of events.
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