Rachel's Blog (14)

I'm someone who has been active on this website since late 2012. In my early days here, I met a lot of friends. My first and best friend I made was a man named Liam. He was most active here in late 2012 and 2013, so I doubt most people who are active now will know who he is, but he was amazing guy with a heart of gold and who had been a very good friend of mine since we met. 

Early this year, something horrible happened to Liam. He found his mother and grandmother murdered in a…

Hello. I'm Rachel, seventeen years old. I know I met many of you in the past several months on here, and lately timezones haven't quite been in my favor so it's been hard for me to keep in contact with some of the people I met here in the summer. Many of you who I've met know that my daydreams have been gone for about three-ish years now. They came when I was eleven, very suddenly, and left very gradually when I was fourteen-ish years old. At first, I was very sad when they left, because I…

      I wish you knew how my life has changed since you left. I learned how to do laundry and how to make dinner. I can be independent now.

     I wish you knew about my dad being slightly annoying and I wish you could see my new bedroom.

     You always talked about how parents aren't supposed to lose kids, but it's pretty sucky for the kid to lose the parent, too. I wish you were still here.

     I wish you were still here to see me grow up. To go to my graduation,…

My mom died exactly one month ago from today, and it's really blowing my mind. 

I can't believe that just over a month ago, I was living in a different universe. My mom woke me up for school every day, made me all my meals, got me everything I needed and wanted, did my laundry, decided things for me, ruled my life. She was my main parent. I was never close to my dad, though he is and was in my life.

Since she got sick and died (she was only sick for a week before dying), I've…

I'm fifteen and I  lost my  mom, who was my main parent, late last month. It's been an insanely fast-changing last few weeks, with everything as small as my allowance and as big as  my home and family is changing drastically. I've written two small little things about my experiences which I would like to share with you guys. These things are very personal, so you better feel special.

The first thing I'll show you is something I wrote today in my Creative Writing class. It was a…

A day or two ago, I made a blog post about my mom's illness and how we didn't think she'd make it. Here's the update.

Yesterday, they decided to take her off life support at 4pm. I went up to the hospital before they took her off life support and hung with family and went in to see her one last time. They took her off life support at 4pm, and she died at around 10pm. 

It's now official that I'm staying with my mom's best friend, Brooklyne, and her  family. My oldest brother,…

NOTE: This post is long, but if you still want to know what's happening without reading the whole thing, look down until you see a list and you can get a quick, general idea of what is happening. 

I'm Rachel, in case you haven't spoken to me yet. I'm fifteen right now and live in the USA, Missouri particularly. A lot of things are going on in my life right now, and this is to tell what's happening, because it's the most life-changing thing I have ever had to experience. 

I'm…

     For those of you who do not know, I am fifteen. I'm a Freshman in high school (9th grade). The year is ending soon, and my Science teacher was nice enough to create an incredibly easy project for his students instead of making us take a final. Technically, it's against the rules, but he's retiring after this year, so he can't get in trouble. Anyway, he gave us a project as a final. The project required us to make a PowerPoint pretending we are in our 60's, in the year 2064, and to…

     Two months ago, my grandma, at age 81, was spending the day with her son and his wife. When they came back at around 8, I had just woken up a few hours ago, and my mom told me to come outside and say hi to the son (Michael) and his wife (Myra). 

     I went outside and walked past my grandma who was standing on the porch and said hello to Michael and Myra and talked to them for a little bit before going inside and walking past my grandma again and not saying or looking at her. I…

Thursday the fifteenth was my first day of high school and 9th grade and I was a Freshman! All summer I was so excited about high school and hardly nervous at all...until the night before. The night before the first day, I was very, very nervous and had trouble sleeping. Eventually though, I got to sleep and woke up and got ready for my first day. 

The bus was beyond crowded. Lots of Freshman had to sit three to a seat, including me. It wasn't too pleasant. The unlucky people…

     I don't know why I just cut myself. I was fine, but then, I don't know...I grabbed scissors from my desk and scraped the blades against the back of my leg a few times. I didn't think I was really doing anything...I was wrong. XD

     After I realized it I was just laughing and smiling a bit. Again, I don't know why. XD But then I looked at the cuts and started shaking. They scare me. I have cut myself once before but it didn't look like this... These cuts looked like...well, they…

The saddest thing I've thought in a really long time is that my daydream characters would be strangers if they were real -- that they wouldn't love me or even care about me at all. I would desperately hope that's untrue, but in order for it to be untrue, the girl who is supposed to be "me" in my daydreams and I would have to be the same people. I put "me" in parenthesis because we're so different -- her and I. She has different experiences, different values, different personality traits, and…

Hi everyone. So, I was doing pretty good for a while, up until just a week or maybe two weeks ago. I was doing good, not only with Maladaptive Daydreaming, but depression and stuff like that as well, but now it's like everything that's happened in the last few years is hitting me really hard.

Those things that happened in the last few years…

My name is Rachel and I'm 14. When I was 11, I casually went into a daydream, expecting it to be no different than any other normal daydream I had. It wasn't. I never left that daydream. I was curious to why I was doing this, and why I had never heard of this happening before. I wanted to know what was happening to me. So, I started doing research on mental illnesses when I was 11. I found I had an interest with mental illness, but I didn't find anything I could say I had. After a year, a…