Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I wish you knew how my life has changed since you left. I learned how to do laundry and how to make dinner. I can be independent now.
I wish you knew about my dad being slightly annoying and I wish you could see my new bedroom.
You always talked about how parents aren't supposed to lose kids, but it's pretty sucky for the kid to lose the parent, too. I wish you were still here.
I wish you were still here to see me grow up. To go to my graduation, wedding, and my future children's birthdays.
Unfortunately, the world doesn't always work like that and I must live on without you. I have to learn new things that I didn't when you were still around, and I have to be a big sister to Kaitlyn.
Mom, it saddens me that no one else will ever know you and your humor, and it saddens me that, though I still don't see it, people will no longer see us together and comment on how alike we look.
I wish I could learn more skills from you, but I'll apply the ones I had time to learn from you.
Speaking of time, I'm sorry ours was cut so short. Fifteen years feels like a cruelly short amount of time for a mom and daughter to have each other, but that's because it is. It shocks me that it's been two months now since you left me, because as a daughter, it inevitably shocked me that my mother was capable of dying. Logically, of course, I always knew you could and would eventually die, but love says otherwise.
You should have gotten more time to live, though you had a decent amount. I still wish you got the chance to go to Worlds of Fun with me and to Mall of America like you wanted to. After working virtually your entire life, I wish you had time to retire early like you wanted to and relax.
I wish so many things turned out differently, but I have to accept how it really happened.