Why My Life is Changing Drastically

[Rachel]

NOTE: This post is long, but if you still want to know what's happening without reading the whole thing, look down until you see a list and you can get a quick, general idea of what is happening. 

I'm Rachel, in case you haven't spoken to me yet. I'm fifteen right now and live in the USA, Missouri particularly. A lot of things are going on in my life right now, and this is to tell what's happening, because it's the most life-changing thing I have ever had to experience. 

I'm going to kind of rush through the story of what's happening with my mom, because I don't really like to talk about it. 

I'm not really sure when it started, but one day within the last week or so (I'm losing track of time...), my mom didn't come home from work when she normally does. I found out that she was in the hospital with a kidney stone. She came home that same afternoon. That morning, she was in the bathroom and I thought she was passing the kidney stone, but I guess more was happening and she ended up back in the hospital. She was fine for a day or two, not totally sure how long (Like I said, losing track of time), then she stopped answering my two phone calls and texts. I sent her three texts saying: "Are you okay?", "I really, really need you to be okay.", "I'm kind of scared."

No answer. My dad had already left for the hospital, and I"m not close enough to my dad to have called him and asked, partly because I was afraid for bad news. I sat in my bedroom that day, thinking my mom was dead or dying and that no one knew how to tell me yet. It was awful. I felt like I was being crushed by cement. I didn't have the energy  to do anything, every second was just terrible. Finally, I got a call from a family friend, Brooklyne. She told me that my mom was going in for minor surgery to get the kidney stone taken out and that she'd be awake in a few hours. I told Brooklyne that I wanted to see my mom when she woke up. 

Brooklyne's husband, Matt, picked me up later that day and took me to see my mom. She looked asleep, except for the occasion moment when her eyes would open. She couldn't talk or move. They said she was asleep but could hear, which confused me. I felt uncomfortable, so I quickly left the hospital. I expected her to come home within a week, so I left the hospital and went home. My dad didn't want me to stay home alone though, and he and Brooklyne were spending the night at the hospital, so later Matt picked me up and brought me to his house to spend the night. 

The next day, Brooklyne came to my house in the morning, her eyes red with tears. She started crying when she saw me. She said things weren't looking well, and that she was going to take me to hospital. I was in complete shock. I stepped backwards into my dad's room, my mouth hung open, I kept repeating, "No. No, no." I came to the hospital with Brooklyne. I was surprised to see that many relatives were there, even relatives that lived 15 hours or longer away. My oldest brother, Ricky (and Ricky's girlfriend), who lives in Texas was there, as well as my Uncle Carl (my mom's brother) and Aunt Rosie who also live in Texas, and my mom's boss, and my mom's sister who lives in Washington. I stayed at the hospital about all day, with some breaks that I won't go into because of time's sake. 

Here's what I have to say about the hospital. It's hell. Staying at the hospital while a loved one is sick is torture, at least for me. I can't escape the situation at all and I get updates every five seconds, and for me each update was torture. My mom wasn't getting any better, so the updates were painful for me. I couldn't stand it in the hospital. Ricky's girlfriend, Meghan, and I decided to go for a walk until Brooklyne's husband, Matt, picked me up from the hospital that night because I was just so ready to get out of there. The walk was a mistake because we almost got locked out of the hospital. 

I was able to be something close to "alone" with my mom for a short time, and since she could still hear and comprehend (though she couldn't open her eyes, talk, or move), I spoke to her. I told her that I loved her and that it's okay if she doesn't make it and that I'll be okay. 

Anyway, Matt picked me up eventually and he took me to my house and I packed and spent another night at Brooklyne's. Brooklyne told me to pack for four or five days, so it was a mess. I packed up and have been staying in Brooklyne's sixteen year old stepson's room since. Brooklyne's stepson only comes every other weekend. 

So, here's where I am now. I've spent four nights at Brooklyne's. My mom's still not well, looks like she'll die within the next few days. I'm planning on moving into Brooklyne's attic when/if my mom dies and Brooklyne will become my legal guardian. We only just spoke to my dad about Brooklyne becoming my legal guardian today, and my dad is fine with it. I don't hate my dad nor am I trying to shove him out of my life, but my dad is kind of goofy and not always efficient in taking care of things. Brooklyne is better for me and everyone knows it. Also, the attic is a very spacious and nice area of the house. It's the biggest place inside the house, and it will make for the ultimate privacy. 

Brooklyne has Internet, cable, Netflix, a pool, a trampoline, a hot tub, a couch that gives massages and has cup holders, a home theatre room, and, get this, a HOUSEKEEPER. I'm not used to any of that stuff, except Internet and Netflix, so it's crazy.  Brooklyne also has a nine year old daughter, Kaitlyn, who's extremely active. She can get annoying at times, but most of the time she's okay. Brooklyne's mom, Lynda, has the cutest little house ever. She's very artistic and aesthetic and her house is just absolutely adorable, though her basement could fit in a horror movie. Lynda herself is very talkative and open but also a phenomenal motherly/grandmotherly figure.  She's already told me a lot about her life, though I've only known her for about three days. Nine year old Kaitlyn finds it boring and annoying, but I find Lynda to be a very fun and interesting person to be around. 

I don't like getting updates on my mom, so I get very general updates when I do get them, but I only get them about once every other day. I also don't want to go back to the hospital unless my mom gets better, and I've made that clear.

To make a few important things clear just because this post is very unorganized, I feel:

- I'm moving in with Brooklyne, who is my mom's  best friend and has been for years, and her husband, Matt. They have a nine year old daughter, Kaitlyn, and Brooklyne has a stepson, Jake, who's sixteen and comes to their house every other weekend.

- My mom is not well, looks like she'll die.

- Brooklyne will become my legal guardian because I am underage (fifteen)

- My dad will still be in my life, though I won't see him as often

And with that list, you pretty much don't even have to read the post...lol. But that's okay, because the post seems really unorganized to me, like I said. I swear I'm better at making coherent thoughts than this, but this is what happens when you spend over a week doing nothing but trying to distract yourself... I hope at least someone reads the whole post, but hey, the list will make other people more likely to pay attention and comment, so I'm cool with that. 

I'll likely make another post later when more happens, but for now this is what you've got. If I think of something else that I forgot to say in the post, I'll say it in the comments or something.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Wow, what a horrible thing for a person of any age, especially a young person to go through.  You are incredibly brave, strong, and wise beyond your years.  It must have been so hard saying goodbye to your mom, but I'm sure you'll be glad you did if she doesn't make it.  I hope that she does.  I'm so glad you're going to live in a nice home with good people.  You'll never stop loving your mother, but with the proper guidance and love, you'll start to begin looking toward the future with hope.  We're all here for you whenever you need us.  

[Kade Scoular]

My sister was in the same position as your mother last summer, we weren't sure whether she'd make it. But luckily, she pulled through. I understand how hard it is to keep things together in such a terrible time, but I couldn't imagine trying to do it at 15! But anyway I just wanted to say that I find your strength inspiring, and the fact that you are keeping it together like you are is simply amazing. Your Mother and Father should be very proud to have such a courageous daughter, keep it up! I hope you're mother makes a full recovery (: you should be proud of yourself :))

[MatthewR]

I have been and always shall be your friend. I hope that's not lame to say (I heard it in a movie), but the sentiment is real. You are brave and more than capable of handling whatever life tosses your way. I still admire you, and I think the world of you. You've seen me through some pretty bad days (of which you and a few others know about), and I'm still here. Whatever you need, we're all here for you, always.

Your friend, Matthew =)