Mишка (Miska)'s Blog (27)

I might have cancer...

I might have cancer. How am I to react? Am I to be fearful? With whom shall I depart the world with? Shall that occurrence be the end? Shall I simply meet dead and rot in a hole? How wholly obscure! For now I lie in bedding sheets, only my pillow comforts me. My eyes have learned to wear glasses, my face is thinner now, my cheek bones are most prominent, my hands shake weakly, my weight drops quickly, I grow ever tired, what do I do? There isn't much. The Steves grow. Yes I'm an oddity who hast… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on August 24, 2014 at 2:16pm — 3 Comments

The easy way out

It seems no matter what I do what I say what I try no one ever cares about me. And even when my mind is lost within all the usual train of thoughts, my main love is to find myself dead. Because no one's there to save me I just die alone and hopeless with out I strand of hope or a person there to mourn me. That is usually the case in such thoughts. Even now more than ever all I want is to no longer exist to have no more interaction. I feel so hated every single day of my life I can't bare to be.… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on March 31, 2014 at 3:07pm — 3 Comments

I'm a duck quack quack

I'm a duck, quack quack stupid pewds doesn't expect a thing

Added by Mишка (Miska) on March 3, 2014 at 11:46am — 2 Comments

Character looks? What do yours look like?

So lately I've been looking on ebay... Looking at cosplay stuff and I'm really interested in getting makeup that fits my character. She is a female, in my story she is called Einræðisherra (eh ee n rh eye se dr ah). She is very pretty. She has long nails that are stiletto sharp, grey eyes (though eyes change) hair that is dark black and short, and she is super pale. Lol that's all I'm giving you haha but her features closely resemble this:…


Added by Mишка (Miska) on March 1, 2014 at 8:30pm — 3 Comments

In this time in this way, I can't remember what to say, For every word is lost in tone, Every day shrieks and drones, Who am I to feel so sweet, My earth cracks below my feet, Ignoring one's lesson …

In this time in this way,

I can't remember what to say,

For every word is lost in tone,

Every day shrieks and drones,

Who am I to feel so sweet,

My earth cracks below my feet,

Ignoring one's lesson chance,

Having one lessened glance,

I don't remember how I got this way,

Pacing fore and forth in every day,

For one day I cried and sobbed,

For what? just a ridiculous fop,

I thought I was happy,

I thought I was… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on March 1, 2014 at 8:10pm — 3 Comments

I'm done

I'm done caring about anyone. No one cares. No one really loves me. The only guy I put my heart to just told me what he though of me. "Weird and Creepy" and you know what? Maybe it is true. Maybe I am strange and all but I have love in me and I will for the righteous. So if he wants to be with another girl and tell me my place to him who am I to deny him his will to free speech? Well I guess nothing really. But I am human and I have rights to speech too. I just feel so unheard. I suppose it is… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on February 27, 2014 at 7:08pm — 3 Comments

Boy Sorcerer

Abysmal, abysmal, abysmal.

Is the hole in my heart,

Little keeps me going, moving,

All makes me fall apart,

My words are dark,

I speak of monsters, who are born in pain but fall from the earth in mere seconds.

Because I like the 'monsters'. I like their short life. I like their deformities wholly and purely in love. They are human but treated as anything but. A bore is mine- life without deformation. The carvers of the land are boring me with their ugly faces. The… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on February 6, 2014 at 2:44pm — 1 Comment

The Melancholy of Literati Boy

It is a shame now, to think of hate sadness or pain,

To think of killing or beating or being beat or to maim,

Yet with all stories comes confliction and hate,

With all dreams comes evil we have to face,

Even if these things are not appearant,

They still exist even in the translucency of this fake world's farceness,

Because our worlds are like books and movies,

Who is to say the greatest writers were not to burdened as we are now,

Because our worlds can be… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on February 4, 2014 at 7:26am — No Comments

My light

I waltz about, run around, trip and fall, laugh and pout. But my light to see is dim, the room is as dark as my own 'heart'... abyssal. Faces show on mine and it is quite obsurd. My gift of freedom is my cage. Of all the humans born in to this world why shall I be born so odd and different in these ways... My heart would be blank and black and unknown to me had I not found my light. My light may be dim but it is so due to distance and one day it shall be as close to me as the sun is its own… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on January 24, 2014 at 6:46pm — 3 Comments

MD and ColourBlindness

For the longest time I have MDdreamt and for the longest time I've known I was color blind. I have a form of color blindness known as Protanomaly which means I don't naturally have the ability to see the color red. Therefore I confuse red and green. For years I have dreamt about what the color red would be like. I read the book, "the colour out of space" and it made me dd a million times more about what it would be like to see this new spectrum of light that is unknown to me. Well now I can see… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on January 12, 2014 at 5:47pm — 3 Comments

What do I do...woe is I

I guess I'm a bit stupid. My life is a ridicules mess. No matter what I do I will never be seen as a normal human being. But I have reasons... Many reasons. I do not like colorful clothing be the cause of my colour blindness. So I wear black and white. My new contact lens pair have now given me the ability to see the colour, red and variations of other colours containing red, but even so I do not so greatly enjoy the colour. It is new to me but is quite scary in people and it is that fear that… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on December 28, 2013 at 5:38pm — No Comments

Part two

Yeah I know the first part was crappy but I'm still using the microphone. Anyways after first period was done and yes a lot of crud did happen in first, So yeah, I went onto second and second wasn't amusing because it was my trigonometry class, and I continued onto my advisory. My friend Maggie goes to my buddy with me so I told her all about my first period. She thought it was funny, then I started talking about the guy I cared about. Immediately she wanted to help me but I refused, then she… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on December 9, 2013 at 7:51pm — 1 Comment

Me, Myself and I

Yes yes another blog about me get the point... Today wasn't particularly the best of days for me but it wasn't the worst. Good things happened, but by the time I got home things were already going downhill. The first thing that happened to me today was I walked up the stairs of my high school with my friend, Sarah. As I was walking up the stairs I was making various jokes one of which I decided to make an imitation of sobbing in order that The hilarity of the joke was well understood. Sarah… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on December 9, 2013 at 7:30pm — 2 Comments

Pushing people away

Yes I know it's another stupid blog about me but I'm sure you might be interested in hearing... So um yeah well here it goes, Life is far too full of disappointments for me so much so that I just go as far as I can to push people away from me. It's not like I try to hard people are very judgmental about me anyways, but in any case I do try. There was one point about a few months ago where I had made up this whole thing about not liking a president in order to try to push away girl who is being… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on November 28, 2013 at 10:02pm — 2 Comments

Another bit about me

In the absence of other humans' presence I thrive,

Yet with out other humans I do not strive,

Even in the light of day,

I cannot keep these thoughts away,

My heart is heavy,

No crime is petty,

I must walk straight and steady.

In all this searing searing heat,

I control an ocean fleet,

In the freezing freezing cold,

I become Great and bold,

Without love without war,

Nihilism forevermore,

Alone desolate silent… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on November 27, 2013 at 12:10am — No Comments

A bit about me...

In this world there are few kinds of people. There is there is bad and there are some in between but I am not sure which of these I am. it depends on perspective after all, if you need me you would be able to choose. But for now we'll just go on the information that I must tell you. I admittedly am very self-conscious person, sometimes I don't know the words that I want to speak at least the short-term words anyways therefore I must speak in a way that's over scientific to others. People find… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on November 26, 2013 at 11:44pm — 3 Comments

Help me

I can't stand it. No matter what I do I fail at everything. Every class that requires homework is another folly to me. I can't even think about doing school work once I get home and I hate trying to ask the school counselors for help. All they do is try to send me to the school psychologist who thinks I'm all overtheplace and stresses me out and makes me shake with anxiety. I hate school I am only made fun of and yelled at for no reason by a teacher who calls me names and points fingers ate in… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on November 13, 2013 at 9:01am — 3 Comments

Protanomaly and Me

Red...I don't know what it is to see that color. I dream about it and it's importance (although I can't imagine what it looks like) and what it would be like to see it. Is it hot, does it burn, will it hurt my head, does it get real hot like black, is it bright like yellow, is yellow the same with it? What is it.......I must find out! I hope in the future someone cures this deficiency. I'm tired of being one of few females with it... I dream of the colour red all the time. It is like the colour… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on November 9, 2013 at 4:05pm — 1 Comment

How can I be normal again?

Everything I do becomes a mess, nothing I can do can fix them. Those who make me upset scarcely see it upon my face but those who get in my way are hurt with tongue. I can't love anyone because of my sadness and yet it is that sadness which is caused by being alone. My dreams are good but they only do so much. I want to just be normal but it feels impossible. It seems there is nothing I can do. I try but I fail. I become angry so easily and I become quite sad very easily and when the two mix I… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on November 5, 2013 at 6:59pm — 1 Comment

Mothy and my DDing (and how I got in trouble for being adorable)

Mothy didn't really seem to care about my dding but he had many problems about it when he asked what I would dd about. When I told him he became hugely jealous thinking that all the males in my Dds where replacing him or something. There was a time when we got very close to one another and he asked me what I was dreaming about when I was pacing. Being fully honest, I told him about the odd and absurd world where everything was a huge work of art that was absolutely everywhere and I described to… Continue

Added by Mишка (Miska) on November 5, 2013 at 12:31am — 3 Comments

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