My daydreams are taking over my life, they make me feel so lonely, I feel like bursting into tears.

[Olli Bick]

This is my first time posting any content on here, and I sometimes have trouble trying to explain things, so I hope that this will be easy to understand. 

Let me cut to the chase, in my daydreams I have a set of friends, they each have their own profile, and I have come up with every little quirk about them, where they come from, full names, family background, age, birthdays, birthmarks, scars, ambitions - essentially anything and everything a real person could have. In my fantasies we interact, I'm in love with one of them, and besties with another. The fantasies are so powerful, that I find myself acting out scenes/pacing/mouthing or speaking while listening to music, watching a video,or reading a story (3 of my biggest triggers). The stories/music makes my characters come alive, it feels like they are actually in the room with me, like we are actually together.

When I leave my daydreams, I feel empty.

I have to leave them a lot (although its hard), because I have sixth-form (I'm 16), and when I do, I feel like bursting into tears. I have a few friends in real life, and none of them know how deep my daydreams go, they know I have 'imaginary friends', but they have absolutely no idea what it's like. In my fantasies, all of the characters are so detailed, it's like they are real people, so when I have to pop back to reality it feels horrible to realise that they are not real- and they never will be. Sometimes I hold on to hope, hope that maybe they ARE real, hope that I might actually meet them one day, hope that they'll find me - and everyday this hope destroys me, bit-by-bit, until I feel like I may just crumble away into nothingness.

As I type away right now, I am slowly struggling. I've written a lot but what I've written describes merely the tip of a gigantic iceberg, and I am tearing myself apart even trying to explain a little bit of it. I need help, but I don't know what to do. I don't want the daydreams to disappear, they are fun, and it makes my day every time I am able to immerse myself in my world, it's the pang of pain in my chest that I feel afterwards that kills me. 

[J-Bird]

i feel like crying sometimes too. like right now and yesterday, that's all I've wanted to do. I know exactly what you mean, what you're feeling. I still go through it at 22 years old. Started when I was 8. you're definitely in the right place, lmfao.  check out the "links" page. there are some resources there,

[Olli Bick]

Thank you for replying, I'll look at some of the available resources. It feels almost unfair, that they make us so sad, that they can't be real.

J-Bird said:

i feel like crying sometimes too. like right now and yesterday, that's all I've wanted to do. I know exactly what you mean, what you're feeling. I still go through it at 22 years old. Started when I was 8. you're definitely in the right place, lmfao.  check out the "links" page. there are some resources there,

[Ulaan Gom]

I oftentimes feel the same way, an almost begging sensation that my daydreams could actually be real and that I can indulge in something that's actually going to happen. It feels terrible that I'm so immersed in a narrative that is not real. However, what has given me comfort is finding what can make my real life a bit more enjoyable, even if doing so seems difficult and pointless in the moment. Finding a hobby, volunteering, and exercising have all allowed me to feel happier in my real life and have helped tremendously in reducing the pain that I feel whenever I am forced to leave my daydreams. Performing those actions provides me with a feeling that the events in my real life are not in fact entirely out of my control, and that I can work towards making my real life more fulfilling and meaningful. Even if I cannot ever realize my exact daydreams in real life, I by all means can work towards making some of the awesome things in my daydream (such as a loving relationship) come true in my real life. I know things are tough right now, but I have all the faith that situations will get better as time goes on.

[Olli Bick]

Thanks for the reply, if you don't mind me asking, what sort of hobbies would you recommend? I've started to take up exercise and go to the gym in my spare time, and that's always good, but then it sometimes triggers the daydreams.

Ulaan Gom said:

I oftentimes feel the same way, an almost begging sensation that my daydreams could actually be real and that I can indulge in something that's actually going to happen. It feels terrible that I'm so immersed in a narrative that is not real. However, what has given me comfort is finding what can make my real life a bit more enjoyable, even if doing so seems difficult and pointless in the moment. Finding a hobby, volunteering, and exercising have all allowed me to feel happier in my real life and have helped tremendously in reducing the pain that I feel whenever I am forced to leave my daydreams. Performing those actions provides me with a feeling that the events in my real life are not in fact entirely out of my control, and that I can work towards making my real life more fulfilling and meaningful. Even if I cannot ever realize my exact daydreams in real life, I by all means can work towards making some of the awesome things in my daydream (such as a loving relationship) come true in my real life. I know things are tough right now, but I have all the faith that situations will get better as time goes on.

[SJ]

Hi Olli I completely understand how you feel. I have had times before where I have become frustrated and upset that my daydreams are not real or I have had to pull myself back into reality.
My daydreams revolve around a love interest and I find it weird sometimes to think they are put their living their life unaware of me (he is an actor).
You are still young and can break the habit I am now in my 30s and think back on how much I have missed and friends I have lost because I would rather be in my head.
As Ulaan has suggested try something that excites you. If your invited out, go! Hang out with your friends.

[Olli Bick]

I would love to go out with friends but I'm so awkward lmao. It's like nothing excites me anymore - only the daydreams. Like you, a lot of my daydreams (although having many characters) normally revolve around a love interest, and I also find it kinda funny that while I can imagine an entire life with somebody, they are actually out there living their REAL life. 

SamJ said:

Hi Olli I completely understand how you feel. I have had times before where I have become frustrated and upset that my daydreams are not real or I have had to pull myself back into reality.
My daydreams revolve around a love interest and I find it weird sometimes to think they are put their living their life unaware of me (he is an actor).
You are still young and can break the habit I am now in my 30s and think back on how much I have missed and friends I have lost because I would rather be in my head.
As Ulaan has suggested try something that excites you. If your invited out, go! Hang out with your friends.

[Chris H]

Hi Ollie, I managed to blag half a day off work today... I got home at 2pm, it's now 7pm... Ive wasted 5 hours today inMDD. I know exactly what you mean, my characters are successful, tv presenters, rock singers, professional boxers etc. Everything that I'm not.. Their lives are so detailed in MDD. It's is gut wrenching having to come back to reality. I am also at an all time low with this. I am seeing a GP on Wednesday... But I can guarantee that they won't have heard of MDD and will have no idea what to do with me. I hate feeling this rubbish. It's destroying and chance of happiness in my life... But it is so addictive... I think it's like a mental heroin.  I get where your at.

[Olli Bick]

Sorry for taking so long to reply. Hopefully seeing the GP will help, even if they can't treat you, maybe it will help if you are able to vent your feelings to another person. I hope the visit goes well, and I hope that you start to feel better soon. We're in this together x 

Chris H said:

Hi Ollie, I managed to blag half a day off work today... I got home at 2pm, it's now 7pm... Ive wasted 5 hours today inMDD. I know exactly what you mean, my characters are successful, tv presenters, rock singers, professional boxers etc. Everything that I'm not.. Their lives are so detailed in MDD. It's is gut wrenching having to come back to reality. I am also at an all time low with this. I am seeing a GP on Wednesday... But I can guarantee that they won't have heard of MDD and will have no idea what to do with me. I hate feeling this rubbish. It's destroying and chance of happiness in my life... But it is so addictive... I think it's like a mental heroin.  I get where your at.

[Chris H]

Hi Olli, 

thanks for your reply. The last couple of days have been slightly easier. I am trying to avoid MDD but it it's like annoying those adverts that won't go away. Every few minutes I'm back there with this weeks character...I went out for a coffee with my wife today, and as we are sitting there talking part of me is thinking about my character and the latest thing in his life... My characters are all based around me... Accept they have amazing lives.... Whilst the life I do have is being ruined . I think I described MDD as a mental heroin... It's so addictive. I shall keep trying.

Olli Bick said:

Sorry for taking so long to reply. Hopefully seeing the GP will help, even if they can't treat you, maybe it will help if you are able to vent your feelings to another person. I hope the visit goes well, and I hope that you start to feel better soon. We're in this together x 

Chris H said:

Hi Ollie, I managed to blag half a day off work today... I got home at 2pm, it's now 7pm... Ive wasted 5 hours today inMDD. I know exactly what you mean, my characters are successful, tv presenters, rock singers, professional boxers etc. Everything that I'm not.. Their lives are so detailed in MDD. It's is gut wrenching having to come back to reality. I am also at an all time low with this. I am seeing a GP on Wednesday... But I can guarantee that they won't have heard of MDD and will have no idea what to do with me. I hate feeling this rubbish. It's destroying and chance of happiness in my life... But it is so addictive... I think it's like a mental heroin.  I get where your at.

[Matheus F]

Hi Oillie, I've seen myself a lot in your statement. I am from Brazil and 22 years old. I struggle a lot against MDD, but it has been worst. I used to lose an entire hour with my earphones on and dreaming about the life at school, recreating the moments that upseted me and the moments I miss. Right now I don't have many friends, but my dreams have decreased since I started taking some medicine prescribed by my psyquiatrist. I think you should give a chance to this option, even though many people have second thoughts about it. 

Stay strong, hope you had a better time this Christmas!

[Olli Bick]

Thank you for replying,  I hope you also had a Christmas! I'm thinking about visiting a psychiatrist, but I'm worried that they will misunderstand me, and wont be able to help

Matheus F said:

Hi Oillie, I've seen myself a lot in your statement. I am from Brazil and 22 years old. I struggle a lot against MDD, but it has been worst. I used to lose an entire hour with my earphones on and dreaming about the life at school, recreating the moments that upseted me and the moments I miss. Right now I don't have many friends, but my dreams have decreased since I started taking some medicine prescribed by my psyquiatrist. I think you should give a chance to this option, even though many people have second thoughts about it. 

Stay strong, hope you had a better time this Christmas!

[Olli Bick]

Hey,

I hope you managed to have a good Christmas (I dont know if you celebrate it). If it has gotten even slightly easier over a few days, think about how much easier it could be after a few weeks. Keep trying and stay strong x

Chris H said:

Hi Olli, 

thanks for your reply. The last couple of days have been slightly easier. I am trying to avoid MDD but it it's like annoying those adverts that won't go away. Every few minutes I'm back there with this weeks character...I went out for a coffee with my wife today, and as we are sitting there talking part of me is thinking about my character and the latest thing in his life... My characters are all based around me... Accept they have amazing lives.... Whilst the life I do have is being ruined . I think I described MDD as a mental heroin... It's so addictive. I shall keep trying.

Olli Bick said:

Sorry for taking so long to reply. Hopefully seeing the GP will help, even if they can't treat you, maybe it will help if you are able to vent your feelings to another person. I hope the visit goes well, and I hope that you start to feel better soon. We're in this together x 

Chris H said:

Hi Ollie, I managed to blag half a day off work today... I got home at 2pm, it's now 7pm... Ive wasted 5 hours today inMDD. I know exactly what you mean, my characters are successful, tv presenters, rock singers, professional boxers etc. Everything that I'm not.. Their lives are so detailed in MDD. It's is gut wrenching having to come back to reality. I am also at an all time low with this. I am seeing a GP on Wednesday... But I can guarantee that they won't have heard of MDD and will have no idea what to do with me. I hate feeling this rubbish. It's destroying and chance of happiness in my life... But it is so addictive... I think it's like a mental heroin.  I get where your at.