Journey to a Life Free of Maladaptive Daydreaming

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 1 - I've been Maladaptive Daydreaming for over four years now, and I know that it's time to stop. I've recently been able to improve my life, but am facing some obstacles right now and want to clear my mind and focus on improvement. Today I spent a huge amount of time in depression and daydreaming, trying to escape my current circumstances and overlooking all the blessings in my life. I truly believe that all our lives have so much value, value beyond our imagination, and that we should try our hardest to recognize that value. So right now, I will take small steps, starting off by forgiving myself for all the mistakes I have made, and calmly take on whatever I need to do.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 22 - I had a fairly active morning with many emotional ups and downs. Right now I think it's critical that I keep myself busy, do something that makes me happy inside, and constantly watch my mind.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 32 - Honestly my daydreams have become more severe over the past two days, especially due to a sense of disappointment that I am not living up to my potential in real life. I really need to wean away from that perspective of pressure and focus more on inspiration. I need to ask myself the following statement: what did I come here to do? It is completely fine if I slip and make mistakes in the process, but giving up all hope is simply not an option.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 45 - Yesterday my daydreaming frequency was remarkably low, and I felt motivated and took action to help improve my real life. I woke up motivated this morning, but a thick blanket of daydreams quickly enveloped me. However, I will resolve not to give into them. Today can be an awesome and productive day—I just need to make sure to stay busy so I don't get sidetracked. As for problems in real life, I must carry fourth the confidence that I do have the ability to address them.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 1 - I haven't journaled in a long time, and now that I'm in a different situation with different goals and living conditions, I think that now is the time for me to make the final push against MDD. I was thinking last night how I would feel giving up my DD's, and I realized that even though there is a strong sadness-attachment element that would be involved, I would be able to free up so much time and energy in the process and it's about time that I give my real life the focus that it deserves. Today that starts by analyzing what my goals and purpose are for being here, and seeing through that I can do my best to fulfill those reasons. Any time I have a lack of inspiration, I'll just take it for how it is because I cannot always wait to be inspired to act, and one I start acting I can build inspiration. I need to give up MDD in order to:

1) Invest more time in my real life

2) Face fears (social, academic, purpose) head on and not escape from them

3) Develop deeper and more genuine interactions with the people around me

4) Become more in touch with who I really am and what I like to do

5) Have more time to develop hobbies and skills

6) Face feelings of embarrassment and humiliation head on, realizing that the mistakes I make are okay, and that other people's opinions do not define who I am

7) Overcome an urge to seem "amazing" to everyone around me, and instead find beauty and potential within everyone including myself

8) Stop being so narcissistic and realize that there's a whole huge world around me

I need to come back and view this list regularly and add more reasons along the way.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 3 - I just woke up and feel the tide of MD approach in my mind. However, I must push against it and give my real life my absolute best effort. That will be my main hope of making significant strides towards overcoming MD and focusing my real life on the person I want to be. There are so many decisions to make and paths I can possibly go, and now I just have to keep my eyes and mind open and be open to those paths. I think the main step I'll need to focus on is how to stop bringing in daydreams whenever I try to become motivated or do something big, and instead focus on a vision that I believe I can accomplish and go after that larger vision.

[Ulaan Gom]

2018:

Day 1 - Wow it has been a really long time since I have journaled on this site. I think it's time to get started once again, and make a push for reducing and eventually overcoming MD. Sometimes, I feel like I get overwhelmed with problems, and it feels difficult to face them head on, as well as remain motivated for larger goals or purposes. However difficult doing so may be, I want to give this effort a try and see what happens. Just because I have been acting a certain way for years on end, doesn't mean it's impossible to change my mental patterns.

Life is precious. I want to take advantage of my time to the fullest, but at the same time, also will promise myself to be forgiving whenever I mess up, make mistakes, or don't live up to my expectations. I'm really excited for what lies ahead!

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 2 - So yesterday I was able to keep MD's largely at bay, just because I had a clear and strong intention to control them, and also being well rested and exercising helped tremendously. I've realized that in order to help me control my MD, I have to have something that's really compelling in real life to look forward to, or at least appreciate. I will accomplish that by finding meaning in my work, accepting myself for my "flaws", practicing deep breathing from time to time, and periodically listing out what I'm grateful for.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 4 - This morning has been nice so far, but whenever I'm not completely working on a focused activity, my mind seems to wander towards MD again. I'll need something else to focus on instead. Therefore, I'll give myself a list of things my mind can work on:

1) Focus on my breath, position of my body, and position of my feet

2) Focus on 10 things I'm grateful for

3) Do some mental math

4) Thing about real world topics/issues that interest me

[Silver Swan]

I've actually been through these steps. I was miserable after finding out how much time I spent in my daydreams, and completely neglected my real life to an extent it's now in a rut. I am so scared things won't ever get any better and I deserve it. Regards, I'm only 32 (not 65) so I still have decades to make many changes along the way. I've woken up slowly since I was 29 and making small steps to improve on myself. I do believe, not matter how unforgiving our circumstances appeared in the past, we all deserve a second chance.

[Silver Swan]

I've actually been through these steps. I was miserable after finding out how much time I spent in my daydreams, and completely neglected my real life to an extent it's now in a rut. I am so scared things won't ever get any better and I deserve it. Regards, I'm only 32 (not 65) so I still have decades to make many changes along the way. I've woken up slowly since I was 29 and making small steps to improve on myself. I do believe, not matter how unforgiving our circumstances appeared in the past, we all deserve a second chance.

[Briona]

That's awesome! I'm in the same boat, it can be so hard to resist. 

Ulaan Gom said:

Day 3 - I just woke up and feel the tide of MD approach in my mind. However, I must push against it and give my real life my absolute best effort. That will be my main hope of making significant strides towards overcoming MD and focusing my real life on the person I want to be. There are so many decisions to make and paths I can possibly go, and now I just have to keep my eyes and mind open and be open to those paths. I think the main step I'll need to focus on is how to stop bringing in daydreams whenever I try to become motivated or do something big, and instead focus on a vision that I believe I can accomplish and go after that larger vision.

[Silver Swan]

I try to not resist it, but it's actually hard. I don't have the most exciting life ever, so I feel like escaping.