Journey to a Life Free of Maladaptive Daydreaming

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 1 - I've been Maladaptive Daydreaming for over four years now, and I know that it's time to stop. I've recently been able to improve my life, but am facing some obstacles right now and want to clear my mind and focus on improvement. Today I spent a huge amount of time in depression and daydreaming, trying to escape my current circumstances and overlooking all the blessings in my life. I truly believe that all our lives have so much value, value beyond our imagination, and that we should try our hardest to recognize that value. So right now, I will take small steps, starting off by forgiving myself for all the mistakes I have made, and calmly take on whatever I need to do.

[maro]

 Great :D i am trying also to be free of DD 

I also know who is free of DD now :')

 i wonna do that because i think i should live every moment ...be really alive also not to lie on myself by escaping and think that everything is ok and i am the person i wonna be ...i dont want to decieve myself anyway :D ..

I will try the 12 steps because i think DD is addiction kind of and self talk and spirtual talk and thinking is important in that path i think ...Good luck to us 

[Ulaan Gom]

I completely agree with you that MD is almost a form of addiction, because you know it's bad for you but you're unable to stop with sheer willpower alone. I really think it's important to embrace every moment, both good and bad, because in doing so I feel like we can live our lives to the fullest. It's going to be really tough for us to overcome MD, and a lot of times MD is going to test our character, but I truly believe that it's possible we can overcome it and live more fulfilling lives. Thanks for mentioning the 12 steps program. I need to try that out.

maro said:

 Great :D i am trying also to be free of DD 

I also know who is free of DD now :')

 i wonna do that because i think i should live every moment ...be really alive also not to lie on myself by escaping and think that everything is ok and i am the person i wonna be ...i dont want to decieve myself anyway :D ..

I will try the 12 steps because i think DD is addiction kind of and self talk and spirtual talk and thinking is important in that path i think ...Good luck to us 

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 10 - Today wasn't terrible in terms of my Maladaptive Daydreaming, though I definitely have much room for improvement. I've recently set some huge academic and social goals for myself, but every time I try thinking about the goals, and more specifically, the amount of work I'll need to put in, I start daydreaming. I think the daydreaming in this case is serving as a mechanism to cover the discomforts of real life.

[alona]

That is such a good approach to facing MD head-on, and not many people can manage it, probably because of its addiction. So good luck, and keep going.

[Ulaan Gom]

Thanks for the encouragement. I believe that we all have the power to eventually overcome MD, and that doing so will not only build our character in the process but also allow us to live more fulfilling lives.

Mubashra said:

That is such a good approach to facing MD head-on, and not many people can manage it, probably because of its addiction. So good luck, and keep going.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 11 - So I'm planning on journaling here on a more consistant basis to really discover exactly what's causing me to MD and how I can overcome MD. I found myself MDing a moderate amount today, more so when I was experiencing mood dips and low self-esteem. This afternoon, I really felt down, but knew that I didn't want to continue to feel depressed. However, luckily at that moment, I was able to take a step back from the situation and really address my problems. I realized that my depression was stemming from a low self-esteem, and that my low self-esteem was being created from my negative self-talk. At that moment, I realized that I wasn't obliged to compare myself with others, as doing so was making me feel inadequate. Once I allowed myself to stop comparing and accept myself for who I was, my depression almost immediately lifted, and my MD went down, as I was less compelled to escape reality.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 13 - I decided to start writing because for the past 20 minutes or so, I have been caught up in a major MD session. While eating, I was trying to stay in the moment, but suddenly found my mind drifting off. I noticed myself MDing about different "improved" versions of me, imagined versions of myself that I had believed would please other people but that weren't me. I had to remind myself that I am valuable, as there is nobody else in the universe like me, and that fact itself makes me special! After, I started MDing about how I could get others to like me, and had to remind myself that I don't have to try to change myself to try to please others. Other people's opinions of me have nothing to do with me and everything to do with their mental projections of me. The only opinion that really matters is the opinion I have of myself. Keeping that in mind, I have to realize that the only thing that will bring me fulfillment and happiness is accepting myself 100% for who I am, and from that point working on becoming the best I can be in real life, accepting all my flaws along the way.

[maro]

Wooow : ) keep going 
Ulaan Gom said:

Day 13 - I decided to start writing because for the past 20 minutes or so, I have wbeen caught up in a major MD session. While eating, I was trying to stay in the moment, but suddenly found my mind drifting off. I noticed myself MDing about different "improved" versions of me, imagined versions of myself that I had believed would please other people but that weren't me. I had to remind myself that I am valuable, as there is nobody else in the universe like me, and that fact itself makes me special! After, I started MDing about how I could get others to like me, and had to remind myself that I don't have to try to change myself to try to please others. Other people's opinions of me have nothing to do with me and everything to do with their mental projections of me. The only opinion that really matters is the opinion I have of myself. Keeping that in mind, I have to realize that the only thing that will bring me fulfillment and happiness is accepting myself 100% for who I am, and from that point working on becoming the best I can be in real life, accepting all my flaws along the way.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 14 - Today I relate MD to anxiety. I've set a lot of goals for myself, and sometimes my goals get somewhat stressful. I found myself slipping into MD slightly to escape the stress, which I found in turn only worsened my stress when I came back to reality. However, today I felt that overall, I handled my MD well. I talked out my stress, and exercised it out also, which both helped to reduce the stress. After that point, my MD remained fairly low.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 15 - MDs aside, today was a fairly rewarding day. However, I definitely can do better. I know that my life, in fact all our lives, is more than just a series of events that we have to accept and have no control over. More than that, I believe that we all have the power to face life head-on and can all achieve great things during this lifetime. It will be extremely tough though. MD will threaten to distract us and keep us from doing the things we love, so we'll always have to be vigilant and put in our maximum effort. Just now, I was feeling really down for having an MD session, and I felt like giving up on my daily routines that I've set for myself to achieve my goals. However, with much effort, I'm now bringing myself up and forgiving myself for the waste of time and energy I allowed with MD. I'm reminding myself how consistently engaging in the right actions, no matter how painful they may seem in the moment, will pay off eventually. So now, I will continue forward with my work, keeping a sense of optimism and passion with me. 

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 17 - Today I really felt the pain of MD, yet I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I now know that the primary cause of my daydreams is my lack of satisfaction with my current lifestyle, and my desire for more in my life. I know that whenever I get a really strong daydream, I need to approach it in the following way, using the STAR method:

Step back and observe: Whenever I catch myself in a strong MD, I need to step back from it and observe my situation. I need to calmly acknowledge what's going on in my real life around me. For example, I may be in the kitchen making a sandwich.

Take a few conscious breaths: Deep breathing always does wonders to recenter a wild mind, at least to a certain extent. After acknowledging my current situation, I need to breathe deeply to immerse myself in the moment.

Ask myself what I really want: I need to ask myself, do I really want to continue escaping my real life, which is full of potential and wonder, for an imagined reality that doesn't exist. I know that although it's extremely difficult, we can eventually work to improve our lives to the point where MD no longer seems nearly as appealing. I know it's possible, and I really want to go for it.

Respond in a healthy way: After all these steps, how should I deal with the daydream that's still in my head? Well, with my increased immersion in the present moment and my desire to improve my real life, I can watch the daydream objectively, separating it from who I am, and allow it to dissipate. Basically I will be thinking about the daydream, seeing it as a daydream, but I won't be inside the daydream, if that makes sense.

The STAR method has helped me out tremendously for dealing with other cravings and urges, so I think it can have the same effect with daydreams.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 18 - Today I had a pivotal daydreaming experience. This afternoon, I caught myself in a daydream, explaining a subject passionately to someone. This time though, I was grounded enough in the present moment to fully recognize the fact I was daydreaming and diminish the daydream's reality. I asked myself at that moment, "who am I talking to?" This question triggered a wave of emotions, as I realized I was by myself emotionally investing myself in a daydream that was masking the emptiness of reality. I realized from that point, I would have to start treating myself with more love and acceptance, and take steps to address my loneliness problem in real life.