Outside my head

[Jessica Ballantyne]

This is going to sound annoying. Living in a town for 29 years, all I ever heard by others is that I'm so quiet. They literally couldn't get a word out of me. I was too busy daydreaming in my head to realize how I looked on the outside. I actually never knew it made me look stupid. Non-family can be vigorous that way. I always used MD as a way to escape my frustrations, but it did me more harm that good, so I had to quit. It was the best decision I made. 

What reasons did you start doing MD? We're their any social issues involved that triggered this? 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

It's amazing the things you're not consciously aware about when you live in your head. Like I couldn't figure out why everybody thought I was so stupid and refused to be friends with me. I had no distinctive personality to express to them to convince them otherwise. They literally found me a really dumb person. Meanwhile, in my head, I was smart, talented, gifted and a big thinker. Even if I tried to explain myself, they looked at me like I wasn't speaking English. I honestly never met a person who was patient, great and caring enough to stay with me longer. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

The park I lived in used to be my whole world. Now I realize there is a whole 'bigger' world out there, which I still haven't seen. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

If I hadn't begun MD, my mom never would've found out and I would've accomplished things without any disputes. I probably would've been out of here by now. I know mothers get concerned about their children. But for Pete sakes, I'm 35. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I'm so over my past and just want to get on with it. I still want to get out there. I am so sick of my hometown. I stayed in my parent's house a lot longer than I should've. I have to find a way to get out of there. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

I'm just wondering if my MD life prevented me from achieving my goals. 

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Argh. Job hunting is so frustrating. These are wicked times to even get an interview. I was waiting for an interview for hours and it got cancelled—or postponed. Hopefully, they will still reschedule it for me. 

[Kiruba Victor]

Exactly, a couch potato is what I've become. I need to go out more often.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

Being stuck in for months is very bad for your health. It's turned me into a vegetable.

[Kiruba Victor]

Well, you can use a bit of outdoors time, I feel. Would be much better than staying indoors all day like I am.

I'm becoming a couch potato day by day, and I don't have the energy to do something about it.

[Jessica Ballantyne]

My dad would be fine with it. My mom would be like, wait a minute.