Goodmorning,

So, I've shared the story about how my MD came about. Now, I feel I can talk about more current events. I've been in an on and off relationship with a guy since my senior year in high school. It started out as a fling. It was strictly sex based. At some point he started to feel deeply for me and over the years he's expressed it more and more. Even after I moved out of California and ventured out into the military, he still called and checked on me. I appreciated having…

I've been really brainstorming on my daydreams. Between occurrences, I stop and ask myself why I'm doing it. It usually leads to beating myself up, which isn't helpful, but sometimes I get revelations. I daydream so much because I don't know how to cope with the evils of the world. The tragedies, the conspiracies, the "gut feelings" that something is wrong with our world, but not believing anything can be done about it. As a means to stay innocent and keep from conforming to the evil I know…

I'm just curious if anyone with MD has ever video taped themselves daydreaming. Periodically I set up a camera on a tripod and record myself for about 30 minutes and watch it back. It's trivial, but I learn a lot about how MD may look to an outsider. Watching playback of my behavior helps me realize what I'm doing, how much time I waste doing it and what I could've been doing instead.

I woke up this morning feeling very positive. Last night I had a conversation with my mother which led to me "coming out" about my addiction to fantasizing. She looked so confused, but was surprisingly supportive. She kept saying that humans have the ability to self heal. My long search for answers has been an attempt to self heal. Joining this networking is also an attempt to self heal. So, I will give myself credit for not just allowing maladaptive daydreaming to overthrow my entire life.…