I literally spent nearly 20 years day dreaming about needing a boyfriend, but just today, I feel that was a scary thing to do.

I don't know many people who've done this! They basically just payed attention to others and got the partner they wanted, in a super outgoing manner. I wonder if maybe I blocked myself from people too much by diving into MDD. I was never attracted to many real people throughout my life, as they weren't as favorable as my MDD characters. So, I wondered…

Everybody use to gossip about me and taunt me in school for a simple reason: I didn't talk at all. I was your shy awkward type who didn't ever fit in. I had a couple friends at a time, but not too many. Everybody else was extremely chatty, super outgoing and extrovert—"and neurotypical." I was the only student that had autism spectrum disorder, so I was challenged with communicating and interacting. So my school and college job experiences were rather traumatic. Even into my…

Whenever I want to express how I feel about my life situations, I discuss them with imaginary friends, because they actually listen to me without getting snarky. I find that real people don't understand my form of language or they're like "Then, do something something about it." Actually, real people wonder why I've gotten into that situation in the first place, or they can clearly see what's evident, snip at me what's going to happen and what I better do in future. It's as if in…

I don't know how you guys do it! I try everything to conceal my day dreaming. I will put on startled, worried, wary or perplexed expressions to hide it. I'll even move my eyes around and bite my lips. People will still look right at my eyes and maybe even into them! I guess, they still wonder what goes on in my head. If I make a slip up at home and even work, people will think, 'is she wondering?'