How to fight MDD/Compulsive Fantasy?

[Aritra Gupta]

I have been fantasizing/day dreaming obsessively since a very young age. I was, and still am a very shy person and always had difficulties navigating social situations, and forming relationships with the opposite sex. I thus began fantasizing as an exercise to overcome tension, anxiety and shyness. Gradually, the dream world that I began creating was so satisfying and mentally rewarding that increasingly I was fantasizing on a regular basis without the explicit need to overcome any mental stress. I am 32 years old now. My professional life is wrecked. My academics was severely affected, and I have no damn clue how to get rid of this problem. At this stage of my life, the daydreams are so profound and imaginative that the real world feels dumb, boring, and outright unworthy of paying any attention. It has practically kept me out of any kind of serious relationship. I am even not sure whether a real life relationship would be that rewarding and perfect as my imaginary relationships are. If you can curate a perfect imaginary love affair inside your mind, what's the need for a real one? The triggers could be anything. Ranging from music, movies...to something as simple as a fleeting glance of a beautiful woman standing on the pavement.  As time goes by, problems after problems are mounting on my shoulder. More the problems, the deeper I get into the dream world. The last few years have been particularly distressing for me as I had to make serious commitments to build a workable career, and unfortunately, it's my career that's taking the greatest hit. A few more years like this, my career and my future would be irreparably damaged if not utterly destroyed. I am writing this for suggestions, as it seems there are many more people like me facing this problem. Please tell me what steps should I take to defeat this problem and lead a normal life.

[Silver Swan]

I was in the exact same shoes as you are. I created nonexistent worlds in my head since I was in grade 6. I first got triggered by a science fiction documentary and a classic Star Trek episode in my basement. It was the most regrettable thing I ever started. Within the next 20 years, my life was nearly shot to hell.

Daydreaming has greatly effected my career life. I do work as a designer in a studio downtown, but work for an aftermarket car parts company that pays me minimum wage. I do want more from my profession, and hope to sink my teeth into an enthralling opportunity that will make a big difference in my life. I have good work ethic skills and love what I do, but my weakness is working very fast and being a pro with all latest software, not to mention I'm under-educated. Believe me, I struggled for over a decade to get my butt up the ladder, and I'm still living under the poverty line. I lost so many jobs that it makes my resume look contemptuous to all the employers.

Fantasizing has ruined my relationships and friendships with everyone! I was so shocked. I'm 33 years old and my daydreams confided me that I'll find the love of my life, since I was a very young age, but this viciously didn't come true. In reality, I don't connect with most men, and it's rare if I'll meet a guy who has a heart. I say this, because I'm socially awkward in appearance and I might have asperger syndrome. The older I get, the more the truth bleeds out that I'm very special and unique, but I have no way with people.

Do you want to know I quit MDD? I suddenly had too many cares on my shoulders. It started with a lead designer job in a warehouse. I was so concerned the VP manager would discover my daydreaming that I forced myself to stop. At first, it was so creepy. Just remembering what I've been doing all those years, instead of being on Earth and actively getting involved in society. I felt shame and remorse that I used to be this person. Moments in the future, I was horrified and embarrassed at my actions and behaviors that were a throw back on my daydreams. I met so many people were either curious or literally reacted like I was nuts. Eventually, I let go of fantasizing and got with life itself. It's tough that I have so much to learn, because I didn't adapt properly due to daydreaming.