So I often wrote about treatment and I was taking it serious for more or less a month then shit hit the fan. Now it's getting increasingly bad, so I took my phone and rang my general practitioner for a visit. I can't function, at all, I have not been able to work for more or less a month now and I just don't manage anymore. So the hunt for a therapist and a psychiatrist starts again, and I hope my gp will write me home for a few days just so I can cry out and collect myself instead of…

I'm at my third day completely dreamt away.

I am very happy on one hand because I "unlocked" a new scenario but I still feel a bit guilty and I haven't been able to work in ages. I'm also not doing a lot of meditating or yoga or eating properly so it's sort of my fault. It feels very cyclical and I don't know what is first, but generally I come to a point where I will stop eating properly (yesterday i had just fries and two days ago just a waffle), stop exercising, stop meditating and…

So after having had a lapse last week, I got back into the saddle. I actually find atm that yoga is more useful than meditation, so I'm focussing on that right now. Yoga has the added benefit that I focus on my body, and instead of just sitting there trying to be calm, I can move around a bit and experiment with how things feel. It's a very different way of being into the world and when I come out of it I'm always very clear headed and able to be decisive and do things. 

I…

Where to start? 

With the closure of some very big thing at my job, last week was insanely hectic. I hardly daydreamt at all just because it was all hands on deck all the time. I was working until midnight or 1 am for a few days and finally managed the bloody thing. With that much stres, I didn't daydream. I tried, like when I was bored on the bus, but it didn't work. Instead, I actually really listened to the music. So I thought I had this shit down and I was doing great.…