Where wild minds come to rest
Where to start?
With the closure of some very big thing at my job, last week was insanely hectic. I hardly daydreamt at all just because it was all hands on deck all the time. I was working until midnight or 1 am for a few days and finally managed the bloody thing. With that much stres, I didn't daydream. I tried, like when I was bored on the bus, but it didn't work. Instead, I actually really listened to the music. So I thought I had this shit down and I was doing great. Unfortunately, I also didn't make time for meditating, and the one day in the week that I did, I was all over the place.
Cue this weekend, when the thing is finally done and over, and I am free again. I went to this cosplay party, had an insanely good time and the next day, with my partially hungover, sleep-deprived, stress-ridden self, all I could do was daydream. I daydreamt in the car, driving, when I was having lunch with my mother, I skipped my sports classes to stay home and daydream because it was so powerful.
I even launched a new character, go figure.
Anyhow, I don't know why, but now I am able to pull back my focus from my job and look around me, I just am so deeply dissatisfied. I'm not happy with my life, or with my relationships. Especially my relationship. We've been hitting a low spot on several levels, also physical, and surprise surprise, all my characters are getting a lot of action. So once again I think I just siphon my unhappiness away from my current life, dealing with it through DDs and if I didn't have that I probably wouldn't function.
I'm completely confused about what I want and how to get it. I promised myself that this summer I will take a holiday alone, with no electronics and actually spend some time really pondering what it is I want to be doing instead of just going with the stream. But meanwhile, now, I just really do not want to do anything at all but DD.