Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
Does anyone have severe motivational problems with MD?
Like not being married/dating, not where your careers is, to thin/fat because you haven't hit the gym?
I recently read that daydreaming demotivates people because it gives them unrealistic expectations for their work.
"Not being married/dating: That's my own fault. I could be married if I would have married the woman who loved and adored me but I had no romantic or sexual feelings toward her. It's also my fault because because there have been women who liked me but I didn't pursue because I'm just shy and have poor self esteem but next time if a woman shows interest in me I will talk to her even if it kills me."
I'm not sure if that's your fault. Men are either attracted or not. But the shyness And anxiety, yeah, everyone on this site has that problem
For a long time I would escape into my day dream world to avoid dealing with reality. It held me back in my professional life and in starting relationships. Everything happened later in life for me than for most because of that. It has taken forever to make progress in my career life and I didn't get married until I was thirty years old.
I think excessive and extremely idealistic daydreaming can definitely cause stagnation in your real life. If your inner world makes you feel so satisfied, why push yourself to actually achieve them? It creates a false sense of security. I totally understand that. Daydreaming fills this massive hole in my heart and without it I feel as though something is severely lacking in all areas of my real life.
There's a whole bit Freud did on it. We relegate to spectator to ease the anxiety of delayed gratification or whatever. But yeah everyone here will say the penalty for our addiction is a wasted life.
Ni lot dahrin. It doesn't have to be a complicated reason in order to cripple you in reality. Sometimes the only difference between reality and hahnu-himdah, dreamland, is one little detail. In my own dream world, the only difference is that I have the power to remedy past mistakes, which I don't in the real world.
That would be a solid YES to all of these.
And also not having the motivation to adapt your routine towards a healthy normal one like you should activly do whene you have autism and have trouble with that. But after being on this world for 18 years I still haven't learned myself basic routine things like brushing my theeth and washing in time. Having meals whene no one asks me to. Getting out of my bed. Getting into my bed. Getting anywhere. Applying daily treatment that the doctor prescriped. Shaving (I started growing a beard just to get rid of that one) So yeah... :/ I'm gross... and I don't have the motivation to change it. Even though I go like "Aaargh damn I forgot again!" every single time whene I realise I should have done one of these things. I should do it every day automaticly. I just don't learn.
Of course there's also homework :p but you can guess how that is going for me
I'm glad that someone brought this up finally. I've been wondering for a time and very happy now, thanks, Penguin! :D
From my part it's a massive YESSS. Especially career-wise. Relationships, marriage (and love!) are a whole different type of thing.
But career...for a long time I had excessive DD, to an extent that it made me extremely depressed that no matter how vividly I picture my alternative reality, it can be so lifelike, it can feel so real that I can almost touch the characters - it will never, ever become true. I felt heartbroken. Devastated. Lost. And betrayed.
Later in my life, when I had to step up and 'level up my game', sell myself on jobsites - I found myself lying on the bed for hours on no end and was so demotivated I could not get up until late afternoon. I have very big problems with feeling demotivated all the time. I just...I don't feel, and never felt, that I belonged to this life. I don't dream that excessively any longer. I do think it's a curse. Yet...I think for people like me...life might not offer (ever) enough to satisfy our ever-hungry and sensitive brains.
Something's always missing. Can't figure out what...I don't know how non-MD-s do it. If anyone has any advice on demotivation, please let me know.
Also: I am very creative, intelligent, curious and special, yet...life has never gone towards my expectations. I am a big pile of regret over poor me (self-ironic smile :) ) It is so hard to give up DD when no-one's around you to assure you every day that it is ok to be who you and what you are.
I have a warped sense of reality in my day dreams. I also feel that in these dreams a lot of it has to do with me coping with problems in other parts in my life. This doesn't motivate me it just lets me carry out a scenario where I can relieve the stress.
No, though I'm a daydreamer I've done quite a lot of different things in my life, I'm happily married etc. That makes me feel even guiltier. My life is quite fine, still I daydream a lot, why? It's sort of unrespectful towards people around me and towards people with really difficult lives who are justified to dream another, better life. I wonder, what's wrong with me?
I know, I had (have?) depression, which have deep roots in the past or in my kind of personality, and yes, maybe I am justified to dream a depression-free, care-free, undesirable-people-free life. But still, I feel guilty. The guilt feeling is linked to depression, so I will daydream more (a guilt-free life!). It's a vicious circle.
Maybe I should just accept my MDD and break it.
I've heard the same about daydreaming. If you do it too much, you forgo working toward your dreams because you feel like you've already experienced them, that is, emotionally, inside your head. I know i have motivational problems stemming from low self-esteem and anxiety.
Yes Yes and Yes!