Longstanding daydreams and what happens when facts get in the way???

[sasi]

Hi Everyone,

                  I'm new on here anfter coming across this site after a google search.I really thourght I was the only person who had lived the last 30ish years running a parrallel daydream world.

  In real life I am very happily married to a lovely man and have 2 great kids.I have a good job that I enjoy and plenty of friends.My "fantasy"world comes from a very disfunctional childhood and I realised it helped me cope and survive what happened.

 

  I fantasise usually scenarios that involve a character from TV as my partner.There daydreams can get very involved and I do get emotionally attached.My problem comes when I find out things about their real lives e.g.they are married.I then feel devastated-as I would if it had actually happened in my real relationship.While my head knows that this is crazy I can't help the emotions.My latest fantasy life has become a bit too all consuming and for the first time ever has started to intrude on my life the last couple of months.Recently I found out that this actor was married and am now all over the place.

 Does anyone else have a similar story?How do you manage it?? 

[Silla Bakht]

I have the similar thing but i also in trouble because when i like anyone it can be from T.V actor, singer or a famous person or may be from real life .I always take him as my partner and start Mding .I know it's a fool act but i can't stop it.For this i avoid it by staying busy because this is the only think which makes me free from MDD prison.....

[roxanne]

Cordellia?  Elite?  I talked with Dr. Willeumier this afternoon.  She read Cynthia's research and agreed that this seems to be a discreet syndrome.  One could also have ADD, OCD, depression, etc. co-existing, but they are different conditions.   She wanted a chance to study this further - as well as go over it with Dr. Amen - and will get back to us.  But right now she sees this as a special gift that needs harnessed in order to be able to function in our daily lives.  If some one is unable to finish school, keep a job, or maintain a relationship then it is time for therapeutic intervention.  We know, however, how hard this is, as few therapists take us seriously.  Will have to ask if she takes any insurance.  A good therapist can help us learn "grounding" techniques which will help us function in our "real lives."  At the same time, this will allow us to remain connected to a creative source and hopefully channel this creative talent into something productive.

She was excited by the information & in no way acted as if I were wierd, despite acknowledging that I spend about 12 hours a day intermingling the 2 worlds.  She will be checking in here also. 

She would like to think about brain-scanning individuals.  It is very expensive, so we would need some scholarships.  But this would be so important in proving that MD (or compulsive fantasizing) is a discreet syndrome.  I know most - not all - on here are also convinced of this. 

[roxanne]

Jules, I have been so preoccupied, I forgot to say how good it was to hear from you.  I have been thinking about you, and hoping everything was OK with you.

[Jules]

I am very ok, thanks Roxanne.

I wonder what MY brain scan would look like when I was sleeping. My DD's are very active when I am sleeping...or trying to. Whenever I wake up, I just pick up where I left off! Know what I mean? A very active brain at night. Mmmm.

[Hank]

Roxanne you have done a brilliant thing by contacting her , it's good to know that how she is interested in this as this subject is totaly a different case than other disorders and also being discreet it's good than she want's to study this further .

I finished my board exam this year before my exam results came out i was afraid that i would not make it because this thing i had in my mind that just because i have maladaptive daydreaming i would not make it but then my faith proved me wrong i made it and now i think maladaptive daydreaming had kept me happy through out my academic year by keeping me less stressed out during the exam too , not that i was completely stress less , i had stress but MD made it less . I am happy that how she responded to it , the ones who are doing research on psychological disorders should know about MD i will see if there is someone here in India who would like to know about this . I want to know about "grounding" techniques too sounds like a plan lol , i will make an appointment with therapist asap.

Scholarship on the basis of their exams ? and what will be brain scanning ? anyways thanks again roxx this is a discreet syndrome indeed . 

roxanne said:

Cordellia?  Elite?  I talked with Dr. Willeumier this afternoon.  She read Cynthia's research and agreed that this seems to be a discreet syndrome.  One could also have ADD, OCD, depression, etc. co-existing, but they are different conditions.   She wanted a chance to study this further - as well as go over it with Dr. Amen - and will get back to us.  But right now she sees this as a special gift that needs harnessed in order to be able to function in our daily lives.  If some one is unable to finish school, keep a job, or maintain a relationship then it is time for therapeutic intervention.  We know, however, how hard this is, as few therapists take us seriously.  Will have to ask if she takes any insurance.  A good therapist can help us learn "grounding" techniques which will help us function in our "real lives."  At the same time, this will allow us to remain connected to a creative source and hopefully channel this creative talent into something productive.

She was excited by the information & in no way acted as if I were wierd, despite acknowledging that I spend about 12 hours a day intermingling the 2 worlds.  She will be checking in here also. 

She would like to think about brain-scanning individuals.  It is very expensive, so we would need some scholarships.  But this would be so important in proving that MD (or compulsive fantasizing) is a discreet syndrome.  I know most - not all - on here are also convinced of this. 

[roxanne]

They are world renowned experts at brain scanning.  This can show that something is based in the brain, as I presume this is.  You would be a wonderful subject - any way you could get to San Francisco? 

I will ask her if she takes any insurance for counselling.  Or maybe if she could do a group on-line.

I am also very intrigued by the article from Psychology Today that you posted under Useful.  I have been wondering about just this thing.  I have gone through this year of heartbreak (DD-wise, being hand-held & nourished by this site) and my immune sustem has gone hay-wire at the same time.  Your immune system is supposed to fight off infection, but when it gets damaged or overloaded, it starts to fight yourself, resulting in all sorts of conditions.

[Yaz]

I can totally relate to this!my current SF involved a semi well known rapper who I recently found out has a gf who is also a famous singer. This did get me down but I just changed his background story to fit what I wanted to happen such as he broke up with this woman and is now in the process of reconciling with my alter ego who us the mother if his first child (in the dd) hope your doing better.

[roxanne]

Hi, Yaz.  This is my all-time favorite discussion.  It is what I struggle with all the time. 

What is SF?  I'm sure it is something obvious.  I also change background facts, but find it harder once the DD gets going.  I am actually looking at 2 brothers now - identical twins - very hot on political scene.  They look & sound exactly alike, have same educational background (Stanford & Harvard) and similar political ambitions.  Interestingly, one is married to gorgeous woman and has a child.  The other is single.  I'm thinking the married one is the safer bet, as the other one is going to be having girl friends, getting married, etc.  The married one - I can just say to begin with that she cheated on him or something & they are divorced.  What do you think?

[Yaz]

I meant dd lol. I'm using a touchscreen phone and can't turn predictive text! Wouldn't the other brother who isn't married a safer bet? As he isn't currently in a relationship that you know of. Which would make the SF more realistic. Although you could change it so that his wife cheated on him. I have done it before. Do you get emotionally attached to the romantic subject if your dd? I do and sometimes makes me depressed in reality!

[sasi]

Hi Yaz and long time no speak Roxanne,

   Having been the person starting this whole discussion I've come a long way and hope my experience helps.

R-I'm with you on picking the married brother and just divorcing him from his cheating wife!Either that or the "avoid all info" plan if you pick the other one.

 I have now had same"crush" for over a year which works as I avoid all info about him.I have come to really enjoy not bothering with any gossip mags/shows.It all seems such superficial nonsense. At least our dd are interesting!

[taffle]

I used to have excessive daydreams about a guy that I liked from school. I would imagine being in romantic settings with this guy. But after I confess to this guy, he flat out turned me down, and I got a grasp of his true personality, my daydreams about this guy started to wane and eventually stopped. So yeah, real life gets in the way of daydreams.

[roxanne]

I did look up the single brother & he is currently dating a "hot model type."  I agree if I go here at all, it is with the married brother.  Sasi, I also have given up (for the most part) all mags & entertainment shows.  It is hard in this culture, however, to escape it all.  Hollywood updates are even on our news shows.  My favorite radio station has celebrity news from time to time.   But it is helpful to reduce dramatically the time spent on it. 

Laine,  I think you were brave to give it a try with your real life crush.  Good for you, even if it didn't turn out as you had hoped.  He sounds like he wasn't worth your time anyway, but who knows?   Are your crushes now real life, celebrities, fictional, or what?