What helps?

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Now that we've had some time to think about this & discuss it, let's start creating a plan to help.  Let's try and make a list that we can refer to & refer others to.  Here's my question:

What helps? 

Not just what helps you stop daydreaming.  This is a condition we need to learn to live with. 

What helps in any way possible?  Interpret that in every way possible, and be as specific as possible. 

Some ways you can think of it:

What helps make your life better?

What helps you feel like you’re living a more fulfilling life?

What helps you feel like you’re in control?

What helps you daydream less & what helps you daydream more?

What makes your daydreams more productive?

What makes your daydreams feel less productive?

When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged?

What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish?

What helps you feel stronger?

What helps you feel safer?

What helps you feel more confident?

Let’s act like we’re compiling a list of things to tell new people who’re just figuring out they’re going through this & are not sure what to do.  What advice would you give them to help them feel more empowered?

[Rashomon Effect]

Using the term MD to label the condition may be recent. Often discussed as a non-specified dissociative disorder.  Recognition of this behavior is not recent.

I've seen many people write that they think no one knows they daydream often. That is naive. Unless they have little interaction with people, people know. Everyone daydreams; it occurs about as often during waking hours as it does during sleep. Some people lose control or give themselves over to it. The pattern is like allowing a flow of water current to cut an increasingly deep path. Over time the current becomes stronger; the channel deeper and the process becomes more difficult to control.

 

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Actually, for the record, most psychiatrists have never heard of MD.  It's only been studied a few times ever.  It's too soon to say if there's a cure or not.  It's up to us pioneers to figure that out.  

[Pseudo Life]

 

I am very cautious of labels.   I've been around long enough to have seen the MPD, DID, repressed memory craze.  Be careful who labels you and what their agenda is.   These might be very nice people who may deeply care about you but when you view the world through MPD, MD, or DID, use caution.

 

[Palejade]

I REALIZE THIS IS LONG! BUT IF YOU NEED HELP, YOU COULD FIND SOMETHING HELPFUL. I always end up writing to much. But it's thorough. You never know what might be the little thing that helps. 

I used to be incredibly depressed but then i moved and im incredibly happy here. My daydreams are still what they are but they don't interfere with my school work or anything. I used to be incredibly introverted too, and i still like to be alone a lot more then other people do, but i am confident now. Im definitely not shy anymore.

I am comfortable in my environment and that goes a long way in controlling the dreams. I think if you are super depressed with where you are, then you need to get out. I lived in that old place for 11 years, and i thought it was just me and i'd just sink deeper into the fantasy. But as long as im satisfied with my life I'm able to keep a healthy balance between the two, my dreams not interfering with any of my real world interacts. 

I am in control in the sense that i can keep it in check. I have been at this same level for several years now, so I don't think my condition is getting any worse, and i hope it stays that way. I do know that if i were suddenly deprived of the opportunity to dream for a while -- like not being able to physically move around when i dream-- i'd start to get grouchy and my head would be all choked up like i couldn't breathe.

For any other people who like to move around with head phones, i've found that running, bicycle (in a gym, not on the streets so you can focus on the dream and not where you are going), elipitic trainers,power walks,... all these do very well in letting it all out when you can't get to dream alone. If you are trying to live more of a normal life, buying one of these and going on it to deal with the urges is a very good way of having a normal life without getting rid of the dreams. Everything you do is very normal to others, and you can still indulge. You get a lot of exercise too. My figure is always great when i do these. People will see you as a bit of an exercise junkie when you do it often in a day, but thats a completely normal and healthy thing to be. 

I draw most of my inspiration from books, movies, tv,... So that's when i get the most inspired. I'll see a scene and start putting my characters into it creating a new storyline. This gives me an incredible amount of energy along with an irresistable urge to dream. So I've learn to avoid doing anything "inspiring" until I've finished my work or need a break. If it's just a break, ill start an episode, dream with it but ill stop myself 20-30 min in. By then, even if im into it, the urge is past it's NEED stage and once i sit down, turn off the music and start thinking about school again I come back to reality easy enough. 

If i don't watch/read/see anything inspiring for a while my dreams can become unsatifying. Like writers block. I create my storylines and worlds on my own, but it can take little kicks like scenes or a basic world outline (not story, just what universe their in). Taking in a healthy amount of tv usually keeps me happy. Keeps the ideas fresh. Otherwise I end up playing old storylines I've already done a thousand times in my head. If you ever want more inspiration, just try a new TV show, sci-fis or action series are usually the most inspiring, and you should be good to go. 

 

Sometimes I still catch myself whispering words my characters are saying, but if someone hears i can just pass them off as song lyrics.

I remember what it was like when my dreamworld was the only thing i liked in my life and i was consumed by it, and though my characters still live out lives i'd rather be living, it's better now. There's a balance. I hope this things i've said help others get their words under control, so they can live fulfilling lives without having to sacrifice the euphoria of getting lost in the dream. 

[Barnes]

One thing I find helps is being with people, or chatting on the phone. This is not a sure-fire way of preventing day-dreaming - I can daydream while holding a conversation - but it helps.

Another thing is just to overcome procrastination and just do things - anything. Write that e-mail, post that letter, write that blog, cook that food. Again, it's true that I can daydream while doing practically anything, but the more I do in the real world, the more attachment I feel to it.

Now this one might sound a bit of a 'nothing' answer, but I've found recently that simply by making more effort and being more committed I have been able to reduce my daydreaming. Not to nothing, but I've managed to shorten the time I spend on daydreams. Also, the 'severity' of my daydreaming normally ranges all the way from imagining scenarios that might even happen, all the way to the really ludicrous, and I've found recently with making the extra effort that my daydreams are generally less ludicrous than normal. 

[Barnes]

I presume it's OK to link to other sites. I was just reading daydreamingdisorder.webs.com and found all three of my suggestions of this page: http://daydreamingdisorder.webs.com/possibletreatments.htm

[rainydaydreams]

What helps make your life better? Spending time with people who give me space and are not intimidated by silence (introverts), having a creative outlet, a balance between accountability of my actions and pressure to complete created by my boyfreinds question everyday, what have you been doing today and i need to have something to tell him or he will be annoyed if i have done nothing.

What helps you feel like you’re living a more fulfilling life? Having something to look forward too like a holiday, and having options.

What helps you feel like you’re in control? spending time alone, not having to explaine myself to others knowing that i have an amount of time that i can do with as i wish, time i feel is my most valuble commmodaty. Also not sharing  personal information with others and keeping people at such a distance that i can choose to shut them out if  they bug me to much (expect too much of my personal space)

What helps you daydream less & what helps you daydream more? I day dream less when i am genuinly enjoying a creative task, i may semi daydream depending on the concentration required by the task i.e I am a web designer by trade and when outlining a layout i need to be very focused but once i get started im slipping in and out of daydreaming rapidly while similtaniously thinking about the task at hand. i day dream more when under pressure have allot of stress owhen bored and when listening to certain music, i need to have a plan in place each day othewise i will daydream it away

What makes your daydreams more productive? to see a physical (which can be interpritated as digital also) outcome of my daydream, or perhaps i have learnt something new like a charactor of my creation becomes interested in phycology i go off and research it but also I interpritate this  it as me proccesing my own curiosity through a daydream. Alternativly i may resolve an issue in a way which never occured to  me in real life but worked out in the daydream and attempt to apply it to a real situation. Common sence and grasp on reality is needed for this one lol

What makes your daydreams feel less productive?when they result in nothing but a day i bed and junk food binge

When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged? when it sparks an idea which i know will lead to a real life creative persuite or resolution

What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish? knowing i have overdone it and feeling overwhelmed with whats left on  the days to do list, over comairing my real life to these fantasys as there are airbrushed realities mindshopped if you like like comairing yourself to a size -4 fashion model who has been photoshoped to an inch of her life.

What helps you feel stronger?knowing my characters can get throught anything hearing thier unique perspectives feeling their emotions, Also being deliberatly individual and different in real life (this is inwardly, outwardly im a fashion sheep), embracing my crazy and knowing the people i care about accept me for it. I find it reasuring to read news stories online and havethen  formed an opinion which is not the same as the collective as can be seen in the comments. I also curse facebook and dating sites as i met by boyfreind online back in a time when people just didnt do that as it was considered wiered now its normal and i dont get that same reaction, oh well!

What helps you feel safer? privacy and personal space, being off the radar of other people knowing i have something up my sleave that would suprise others (not litraly of course)

What helps you feel more confident? being well prepared and knowledgable for situations i may find myself in,

How do I stop daydreaming interfearing with my personal Relationships? i dont tell people about my daydreaming but i frequently express any poitive emotions onto people i like and love which i dont get complaits about i have developed  an internal filter and to date have not knowingly projected any negative feeling towars anyone however i have been told i seem sad  a few of times which i know is as a result of DD.

[Pseudo Life]

i use the same strategies that I use to take mentally healthy.

Identify those things that help you stay well.  It might be walking the dog, exercise, getting outdoors, talking with a certain person, going to church. A reasonable amount of daydreaming helps me stay well.

Identify those things that trigger :  stress, arguments with __________, overwhelmed, too much to do,  my daughter's thoughtlessness, etc.

And then identify when everything has gone haywire.  In bed, depressed, angry, 100% day dreaming, sleeping and waking up daydreaming.  Getting paranoid, thinking everyone thinks you are weird, etc. forgetfullness, on the computer at 3:00 am.

Don't beat yourself over the head.  Just get back on the plan and go forward. 

I track this stuff when I'm being really on top of it.  Very helpful.

[Stacy]

I definitely have found that I daydream less when I am busy with something else. If I am doing homework, watching a really engaging tv show or movie (although sometimes that can trigger them too) or around other people (who actually expect me to converse with them), anything that really keeps my mind occupied tends to really help. Sometimes I'll go hours without actually daydreaming and I don't even realize I haven't done it. It tends to be when I'm alone or when I'm bored and my mind isn't actually occupied that they tend to happen. its awful when I do it sometimes when people are around. Sometimes they'll be talking to me and I was talking to myself in my head and didn't hear what they said. It makes me look like a space cadet. 

[Skye Dalton]

What helps make your life better?

Being close to God, not focusing on myself, reaching out to others, helping people in need.

What helps you feel like you’re living a more fulfilling life?

When I am making a difference in the world, when I feel someones day was a little better because I helped any way I could.

What helps you feel like you’re in control?

When I stop trying so hard to control everyone and every thing and just take one day at a time, 1 baby step at a time.

What helps you daydream less & what helps you daydream more?

Things that help me daydream less: Spending time with God and developing my prayer life. This is the main thing actually.   Things that make me daydream more: Getting away from God, watching too much tv (triggers), getting upset about certain situations.

What makes your daydreams more productive?  

If I choose to daydream about something that is really going on in my life.  Example, I can dd about my messy desk and how it would look all cleaned and think of all sorts of neat organizing ideas and before I know it, I have the desire to get up and go clean my desk! 

What makes your daydreams feel less productive?

When the dd is just focused on me being the star of the dd. It really doesn't accomplish much because after I am done dding, I am just let down by the fact that I could never be that person I just imagined myself being.

When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged?

I never really feel more charged or better from the fantasy type ones, like I said, I only feel let down if the dd is fantasy and not pertaining to real life. They only make me feel better if it's a real life situation where I need to fix something in my house or organize and clean out my desk, those types of things.

What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish?

I think it is the addiction aspect of it, if I let myself be taken in by them, I feel like they are sucking my life away. I never feel like I accomplished anything in real life from the daydreams and it almost feels as though that sucks the life out of me. 

What helps you feel stronger?    Living real life and not living life inside the dds in my head.

What helps you feel safer?   I would be tempted to say that dding certain things do, but really, when I step out and do something that I think I fear in real life and find out that I actually enjoyed it, this brings a new safe feeling to me. That I don't really have to fear all the things I think I do.

What helps you feel more confident?    Not trying to be perfect, not caring if I am the best at everything, letting go of pride and accepting that I am just a human that is imperfect and makes mistakes.

 I just joined this board recently.  I started daydreaming at age 12. I'm in my 40's now.  It became an addiction the moment I began doing it. I went for 2 years without daydreaming at age 28 and 29.  Then I relapsed and started again. Then stopped daydreaming again in August of last year in 2011.  About a month ago, I caved and had a dd for about 3 hours, then stopped and haven't since then.  I have learned why I do it, what my triggers are and how to stop. I am not saying I am cured because I never know if it will happen again in the future, but I have really learned to turn it off. I can only give that credit to the Lord.   :)

[AnnMarie B]

What helps make your life better? Producing artwork, getting out and seeing friends, keeping in touch with God. (I was tempted for a minute to refer to God as "my higher power", which for me is more accurate, but the term does have AA connotations.)

What helps you feel like you’re living a more fulfilling life? When I'm not at home all day, which isn't that often. At the same time, I feel anxiety when outside of the house.  (I make it a goal to go out at least twice a week.)

What helps you feel like you’re in control? Personally, I dislike feeling like I'm in complete control, because if I was in complete control I don't think it'd go that well. However, it is important for me to feel secure. What helps me feel secure varies, but one thing I noticed that I do whenever I go to restaurants or eat in public is that I always play with the napkin under the table.

What helps you daydream less & what helps you daydream more? I daydream less when I have conversations with other people face to face. It helps if I haven't seen that person in a while and if we have a really long, good one. I daydream more when I stay home and when I do certain things. (Like read certain books, watch certain movies and TV shows, etc.)

What makes your daydreams more productive? When I read a book or watch a TV show/movie (or both, or come up with one in my head) and I get what I think is a really great idea to use as a plot, for a situation, for a character... The productive feeling typically doesn't last long, though. I'd say I get one of them roughly three times a week and they normally last a couple hours or less.

What makes your daydreams feel less productive? This happens a lot... I get stuck playing the exact same elements over and over and over with only a few small things changed. I feel that nothing really progresses when this happens. I also have used certain elements for years, and I'll continue to do so until I feel extremely tired of them... And even then, sometimes I carry on. (I woke up this morning, thought "oh no, not this boring daydream again", and then daydreamed it anyway.)

When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged? Almost never. It's probably happened once, so I won't properly say never. Sometimes I get more energized, but most often this energy is wasted (as I think of it) on more daydreams.

What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish? See above. Basically, if I stick to daydreaming for too long.

What helps you feel stronger? Uhm, when I exercise?

What helps you feel safer? Talking/trusting in my God/higher power (come to think of it, this also makes me feel stronger), cuddling with plush toys, eating certain foods that I associate with nostalgia.

What helps you feel more confident? Loving myself, and loving others.

[Andrea Leonel]

[Andrea Leonel]

1. What helps make your life better?
Having responsabilities and feeling useful. I like to make to-do lists for the day and now I do volunteer work in a dog shelter. I just need to have things constantly changing around me, always something new and challenging to do.

2. What helps you feel like you're living a more fulfilling life?

Following the path I set up for me. I'm in an age that I'm making decisions for my life, so I always make sure that I'm on track with that path.

3. What helps you feel like you're in control?
I'm a very aloof person, so I don't get that feeling a lot. I only feel like I'm in control when I'm studying, which is one of the only things that make me focus.

4. What helps you daydream less&what helps you daydream more?

Helps me daydream less: Playing The Sims has helped me a lot. I can use my imagination on the game as much as I wanted. However, it's tiring sometimes, because I can't stop playing it. To-do lists are also helpful, if you really commit to to do all the things you put there for the day. Being around people and staying in a place where I get attention also keeps me from DD. Like, at a lecture, I'd sit right in front of the lecturer.
Triggers DD: Music, films, being alone for a long time. Driving also makes me DD a lot, which is dangerous. Not having enough sleep at night makes me have a worthless day too.

5. What makes your daydreams feel less productive?

When I DD about things happenning around me. Like, when I imagine people around me and interacting with me. This is the kind of DD I  try to avoid the most. I've got a good reality, I don't need to do that.

6. What makes your daydreams feel more productive?

When I think of myself in the future, being coherent to where I am now. It lifts me up. Also, when I'm down and I'm alone and I imagine someone I admire saying things I wanna hear. However, doing this excessively is stressful.

7. When do you leave your daydreams feeling better & more charged?

When I think of myself in the future. I try to keep my DDs like that.

8. What makes them leave you feeling more sluggish?

When I think of things that aren't really happening, not now or ever. Any kind of DD done for a very long time will leave me feeling stressed too.

9. What helps you fell safer?

Being around people I love, doing things I'm good at and helping someone.

10. What helps you feel more confident?

Doing what I really love, studying, learning new languages, travelling.