Wild Minds network
Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
daydreaming becomes my distraction
im still a teenager, i have goals in my life that i want to accomplish but im scared that i won't be able to achieve any of them because of my daydreaming. ive read some forums that say their habit of daydreaming impacts their life in not really a good way. im scared that i end up being a failure or end up not being successful in my life because i get distracted by my own imagination that is not even real and usually i cant focus on everyday tasks which end up me procrastinating and finish things late like assignments. I dont want the same thing happen once i get a job and start making money in the future.
my daydreaming is unpredictable, sometimes i can focus on my real-life world which makes me productive but sometimes i want to stop what im doing and start daydreaming which makes me procrastinate. My dad keeps saying that im too distracted by my phone but i know myself that phone is not what im distracted by but my own fantasy. im scared to tell anyone about this because they might think im crazy or what i say is not real which doesnt help me since daydreaming is my coping mechanism and i daydream everytime something hurts me.
I also realized that when im daydreaming, i keep walking back and forth while talking quietly and making hand gestures and facial expressions as if im talking to someone, then when i wake up or go to sleep i always cuddle my pillow and daydream, sometimes it helps me fall asleep sometimes its hard to fall asleep. The huge part is that i keep checking myself in the mirror for a long time while im acting as the person i want myself to be or once i see a mirror i will start daydreaming. its very weird once i realize what i have done and since im a shy person i normally daydream when no ones around.
I dont really daydream when im in public, hanging out with my friends, or any social interactions, but my daydream gets worst when im alone and especially when i like someone.
Its really hard. its really hard to get rid of it honestly when i enjoy it at the same time i hate it.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Kimbers on
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I couldn't agree with you more about the last line. So do you want to stop daydreaming or just manage it? I would say writing down your dreams and sticking it on the wall(I know it sounds silly) but it can be extremely powerful as it is a constant reminder of what you want to do. Currently I am also trying to stop MD and I felt the same as you in terms of not reaching goals as I was stuck in this fantasy land which distracted me from doing my work, but since trying not to MD I do have a clear head. I am no expert but what helps me is to get to the root of what i'm feeling and why so instead of MD i will think, 'okay what am i feeling and why' as MD is a coping mechanism for most people. Then remind yourself it is just fake happiness and focus on things in your life that bring you happiness but i know its not easy especially in these times but try and see what happens. Hope this helps!!!
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about your question, i honestly dont know my answer because if i stop daydreaming then maybe i might lose my creativeness and if i manage it then maybe i cant control it. i dont know which is the best option. also, thank you for your tips i will make sure to do that so that i can fulfill my goals. thanks this helps.
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No problem! Honestly yes that's a hard one there was a useful video on youtube about this and it was how to stop it but she mentioned allowing a certain time in the day to allow your mind to wander. Here is the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKnv8Qa4BJ8
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Permalink Reply by Karl Wilson on
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someone bought me a t shirt that says "if it wasnt for women or booze, i couldve played for england". if it werent for daydreaming who knows what i couldve become....does it matter? im a good person. im happy. you will control it when you need to and will get a job, a home, a loving partner...etc. most people have alone time and most people watch tv or play computer games its just that we wander about the house with a candlestick giving thanks to all the people that nominated us for the oscars.....(maybe just me that one lol). my point is we spend time alone daydreaming but when were needed were still human and still turn up to do what "normal people" do.
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thank you for sharing your story :) it helps me letting know that im not the only person who experiences maladaptive daydreaming and that im not alone. i appreciate you read my forum and even replied to it.
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Hii
I wanted to ask , what if I have lost all my dreams and ambitions.. What should I do then in order to keep myself motivated. A few months ago I used to daydream of becoming a famous singer and dancer ( you can call it idol) but i don't know what happened during lockdown.. I have just quit on my dream. Leave the point of becoming one in real life, I can't even daydream of becoming and Idol in my mind . Not just that , I also have lost interest in everything else in my life.
Like all other maladaptive daydreamers, I too have a creative side . I used to love fashion designing, so I started watching fashion tutorial videos on youtube and I genuinely wanted to learn but now I don't have interest in it anymore. Before I used to daydream about topping my class in the exams and yes I was distracted from studies due to my daydreams but I still tried as much as I could. I had a wish back then , I had ambitions but now I feel like I have lost my spark and all my inspiration
Does anyone have any advice for me?
Kimbers said:I couldn't agree with you more about the last line. So do you want to stop daydreaming or just manage it? I would say writing down your dreams and sticking it on the wall(I know it sounds silly) but it can be extremely powerful as it is a constant reminder of what you want to do. Currently I am also trying to stop MD and I felt the same as you in terms of not reaching goals as I was stuck in this fantasy land which distracted me from doing my work, but since trying not to MD I do have a clear head. I am no expert but what helps me is to get to the root of what i'm feeling and why so instead of MD i will think, 'okay what am i feeling and why' as MD is a coping mechanism for most people. Then remind yourself it is just fake happiness and focus on things in your life that bring you happiness but i know its not easy especially in these times but try and see what happens. Hope this helps!!!
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Hey loren, I appreciate hearing your story. I 100% relate! I talk to myself and gesture and walk like my characters while I'm daydreaming. Yes sometimes it can be time-consuming. I find that if I've been watching a show or reading a book that gets my imagination going, the daydreams take big chunks of my day and they also make it hard to fall asleep. But we live in a capitalist culture that's telling us all the time that we should be more productive. It's important to make time for pleasure, and even more important that we take time to process our emotions. People who process their emotions through music spend a lot of time listening to music. People who process their emotions through TV spend a lot of time watching TV. And people who are very productive at work are not necessarily happy. So of course it's up to you to decide how you want to move through the world, but my two cents is that "the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time." I bet you can find a healthy balance.
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