Fantasy Worlds

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Have you been living in a fantasy world? Tell me about it.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

For me it ebbs and flows no matter what, for the most part.
The only things that work are distraction/inspiration or boredom. Whenever I start a new project or get excited about anything I naturally do it less. Inevitably my attention wanes after awhile, and it can be a huge struggle to reinvigorate it. I go back to daydreaming constantly. If I get bored with a storyline and can't get it going in a new direction, that will temporarily help. What's frustrating is it feels so out of my control.

Ren said:

what do you guys do do try and limit the daydreamaing?

[Jennifer]

Nothing has really limited the amount of dreaming that I do. Like Cordellia, I can stop for awhile if I get interested in something exciting - or meet someone new....but it never lasts. I don't really try to limit it on purpose. I'm not sure I can..??

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

For me it ebbs and flows no matter what, for the most part.
The only things that work are distraction/inspiration or boredom. Whenever I start a new project or get excited about anything I naturally do it less. Inevitably my attention wanes after awhile, and it can be a huge struggle to reinvigorate it. I go back to daydreaming constantly. If I get bored with a storyline and can't get it going in a new direction, that will temporarily help. What's frustrating is it feels so out of my control.

Ren said:

what do you guys do do try and limit the daydreamaing?

[Jennifer]

Hello Everyone!

I too spend alot of time in a fantasy world that I call my "other life." I was suprised to find this site, as I have always thought that I was the only one who did these things.....Amazing.... I did a google search for adult fanstasy lives and once I waded through all the porn, I found this site. ;)

I am 38 now, and have had my other life since I was 6 yrs. old. I have no idea what started it....no trauma that I can remember. My thought is that maybe because I have two distant and emotionally unavailable parents, that my little brain created its own place where it could receive love and affection? Maybe its just a genetic difference in how the brain is wired.

I have stuggled with depression and anxiety and been to all the shrinks, therapy, etc. Like alot of you, none of their explanations or diagnoses ever fit me. I was told I was bi-polar, but though I've been depressed, I've NEVER been manic. I was told I have generalized anxiety disorder - which, ok, fine, I have alot of anxiety. I've taken anti-depressants and none have really worked. I just aged-out of my depression at around 30. I've only told the whole truth to one therapist, and he said I had erotomania, which if you look up the definition, I clearly do not. My other life tends to revolve around one famous man, but I DO NOT think that he loves or even knows me, I would never contact him, I don't stalk people, and I have never once lost the ability to tell the difference between reality and fantasy. I just choose someone as a kind of place holder - a face to put with my fantasty....So I told the therapist thanks, but buh-bye...

Over the years, my fantasy life has progressed according to real-life development stages. As a child, my fantasy life consisted of idealized friends. As a teenager, my main fantasy person evolved into a more adult romantic interest. The main person in my other life has changed probably ten times or more in the course of my life. I get a spark of interest in someone on TV or in music, just like the feeling you get in real life when you realize you are attracted to someone, and it develops from there. I tend to change the main character during periods of depression and boredom. The last main character lasted for ten years, then I suddenly changed him out for a new person about 6 months ago. Don't know why....

I look up the person and download every picture of them that I can find, and print out the pictures. I usually carry at least one pic of my main character and sometimes a pic of a few other side character "friends". I feel like I need them wherever I go. I hide them from everyone else, but they are always with me. I think, for me, it is like a security blanket or pacifier. When I am stressed out, I run to my other life for comfort.....I have amazingly developed backstories for all my other life people, and I am usually myself - although better, thinner, prettier, more accomplished, etc....and they all adore me, of course! ;) I've had the thoughts that some of you have had that I should write books, but my fantasies tend to be more episodic in nature....and change every day.... For example, my main character and I had a fight, had a romantic evening, etc.... I also imaging that person is with me at work, at the store, watching TV, etc. I assume that this is so I don't have to deal with the fact that I am alone and live alone.

I was married for at time, but still did this. My fantasy person made up for the fact that my husband treated me like shit. I sometimes wonder if I can actually have a real relationship, because, to get married again, I think I would have to put my other life aside, and I'm not sure I can..

I've always felt a profound sense of shame for doing this. I got made fun of as a child for talking to myself, until I learned how to hide it. I feel that I don't really fit in with any real people.....At the same time, I don't really wish I could stop. I am in a weird period today, because the main character in my fantasy life died in real life last night, and now I'm kind of lost.......It feels weird. I am mourning him like I actually knew him. And what do I do now? I could keep using him as the main character because it was never real in the first place, but pretending to have a relationship with a man that is actually dead in real life.....that feels a little too 'psycho' even for me... So now I am trying to decide....should I try to stop this for good, do I find a new fantasy person (don't want to), go back to the old one.....or what? I am scared that since my other life is my best and only defense mechanism, that if I stop, I may not be able to handle real life... does that make any sense? I also feel that if I don't learn to live without this, that I will be on my death bed someday, regretting that real life passed my by because I was too busy with my fake life.....

I'd love to hear from anyone who can relate to this - whatever it is - that we have....and am glad to find you all!

Jenny

[Denise Gupta]

I would be interested in joining this study.

I always thought everyone daydreamed or spun stories in their head. But when I got married 13 years ago, my husband said he had never done this.

I never thought this was a bad thing - I am very productive, I have kids, I work full time. But lately I have been starting to wonder. My brother (who was 42) recently passed away and I'm realizing life is short.

I would like to be more involved in the real world, rather than the dream world. But it's very difficult.

Jennifer said:

Thanks so much for this site. I'd love to be a part of any study on this issue, as I have been doing the same type of things for 33 years. I too thought I was the only one. If my experiences can be of any help to you or your friend doing the study....let me know. I would be glad to post my life story...well, my "other life" story.

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Hi Maggie. Everything you're saying is perfectly normal. I'm 29 & have been doing this all my life as well. Unlike you this has taken over my life to the point where I never developed any bonds with anyone. I still can't get along with anyone except online. No friends. No family. Yadda yadda. It doesn't depress me like it used to. I finally I had to get over feeling sorry for myself for not being normal. The fact is my brain just works differently. I don't have the patience to just stand around & make noise at parties (what other people call conversation bores the SHIT out of me). It wasn't until I gave up trying to be like anyone else that I finally started (and I'm really just starting) learning how to work with my abilities.

Don't judge yourself for preferring your fantasy world. Of course you would! I'm sure you've built up a life so wonderful that anyone would prefer it. It goes with the territory. This doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother. If you're like me you have loving relationships in your fantasy world. It may not be conventional love, but it's still love. If you weren't a loving person you wouldn't feel love there either. You're just not inspired enough by the outside world. Neither am I...........until I started opening up about this. It took me many years to do so. I felt so ashamed. Who'd want to admit they're really the lonely fat girl lying around daydreaming all the time with no friends or family? Not me. I still don't talk about it much with people. Then again, I don't have many people to discuss it with.

You can try to talk to therapists if you want. They can try to help you, but here's a big heads up: I've spoken to many many therapists & undergone a full neuropsychological exam. NO THERAPIST I'VE SPOKEN TO HAS EVER HEARD OF THIS. Sure, many disorders can lead to distance & daydreaming. Autism spectrum, ADD inattentive, Schizoid Personality Disorder, etc. The DSM is full of them. But what WE have isn't the same. I mean for all I know you could have one of those..........but I don't. I really think this is something different. After years of constant research I can tell you with relative certainty that there exists no disorder exactly matching our symptoms. Of course therapists can be wonderful if you're looking for someone to talk to. Just be warned they may try & tell you you have disorders that you may not have. They often list your symptoms & diagnose you with the next closest thing. Since this disorder isn't in the DSM you won't be diagnosed with it. It's just the way the practice works.

I refused to see any more doctors or take any meds until I found someone who knew about this who could guide me. MIRACULOUSLY I found a lady in New York (clear across the country from me) who's studying it. She's a wonderful woman, and a God-send. Aside from her it literally hasn't been studied in 40 years or so. Crazy, no? Well to me that means this is our chance to be pioneers. The psychological community doesn't know about us........YET. This is our chance to share and possibly make a huge difference. How wonderful is that? You don't have to do anything. Feel free to just hang out here & share what you like. It's good to have a safe place to be yourself. Let me know if there's anything I can do.

FYI, if anyone wants to participate in Cynthia's study on this, please let me know. She's very nice & very interested in helping us. It's just a few questions. No one has to of course. Feel free to just hang out & do whatever you like.

Much love,
Cordellia

[Denise Gupta]

I would be interested in joining this study.

I always thought everyone daydreamed or spun stories in their head. But when I got married 13 years ago, my husband said he had never done this.

I never thought this was a bad thing - I am very productive, I have kids, I work full time. But lately I have been starting to wonder. My brother (who was 42) recently passed away and I'm realizing life is short.

I would like to be more involved in the real world, rather than the dream world. But it's very difficult.

Jennifer said:

Thanks so much for this site. I'd love to be a part of any study on this issue, as I have been doing the same type of things for 33 years. I too thought I was the only one. If my experiences can be of any help to you or your friend doing the study....let me know. I would be glad to post my life story...well, my "other life" story.

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Hi Maggie. Everything you're saying is perfectly normal. I'm 29 & have been doing this all my life as well. Unlike you this has taken over my life to the point where I never developed any bonds with anyone. I still can't get along with anyone except online. No friends. No family. Yadda yadda. It doesn't depress me like it used to. I finally I had to get over feeling sorry for myself for not being normal. The fact is my brain just works differently. I don't have the patience to just stand around & make noise at parties (what other people call conversation bores the SHIT out of me). It wasn't until I gave up trying to be like anyone else that I finally started (and I'm really just starting) learning how to work with my abilities.

Don't judge yourself for preferring your fantasy world. Of course you would! I'm sure you've built up a life so wonderful that anyone would prefer it. It goes with the territory. This doesn't make you a bad person or a bad mother. If you're like me you have loving relationships in your fantasy world. It may not be conventional love, but it's still love. If you weren't a loving person you wouldn't feel love there either. You're just not inspired enough by the outside world. Neither am I...........until I started opening up about this. It took me many years to do so. I felt so ashamed. Who'd want to admit they're really the lonely fat girl lying around daydreaming all the time with no friends or family? Not me. I still don't talk about it much with people. Then again, I don't have many people to discuss it with.

You can try to talk to therapists if you want. They can try to help you, but here's a big heads up: I've spoken to many many therapists & undergone a full neuropsychological exam. NO THERAPIST I'VE SPOKEN TO HAS EVER HEARD OF THIS. Sure, many disorders can lead to distance & daydreaming. Autism spectrum, ADD inattentive, Schizoid Personality Disorder, etc. The DSM is full of them. But what WE have isn't the same. I mean for all I know you could have one of those..........but I don't. I really think this is something different. After years of constant research I can tell you with relative certainty that there exists no disorder exactly matching our symptoms. Of course therapists can be wonderful if you're looking for someone to talk to. Just be warned they may try & tell you you have disorders that you may not have. They often list your symptoms & diagnose you with the next closest thing. Since this disorder isn't in the DSM you won't be diagnosed with it. It's just the way the practice works.

I refused to see any more doctors or take any meds until I found someone who knew about this who could guide me. MIRACULOUSLY I found a lady in New York (clear across the country from me) who's studying it. She's a wonderful woman, and a God-send. Aside from her it literally hasn't been studied in 40 years or so. Crazy, no? Well to me that means this is our chance to be pioneers. The psychological community doesn't know about us........YET. This is our chance to share and possibly make a huge difference. How wonderful is that? You don't have to do anything. Feel free to just hang out here & share what you like. It's good to have a safe place to be yourself. Let me know if there's anything I can do.

FYI, if anyone wants to participate in Cynthia's study on this, please let me know. She's very nice & very interested in helping us. It's just a few questions. No one has to of course. Feel free to just hang out & do whatever you like.

Much love,
Cordellia

[Ellen]

Hi, I posted most of this info the other day on my profile page, just after joining the network, but then I realized that it belongs better in this forum, so in an effort to keep things organized, I'm moving it. :)
I'm 19, and I have been daydreaming for as far back as I can remember- at least since I was 5. My daydreaming has gotten better in the past few weeks, since my schedule has been packed, but still, sometimes I get started daydreaming while I am walking to class, and then, when I get to class, I have a hard time turning it off so that I can concentrate.

I'm curious, I've seen some people post things about having characters based on real life people, but does anyone else have fantasies based on characters from books or tv shows? When I was little, I based all of my daydreams on TV shows that I watched, especially this one show on the Disney Channel called The Gummi Bears. My brothers and I played pretending to be the Gummi Bears on a regular basis, so at that point, it was just a normal kids' game, but unlike my brothers, I did not stop playing pretend as I grew up. In the forth grade, I was introduced to Harry Potter and almost immediately became obsessed. I would spend hours daydreaming, making up story lines based on the books. All of the characters, of course, are modified to be exactly the way I image they should be. If I am having a good day, Harry usually ends up being an idealized, masculinized version of myself, doing all the things that I like to do or wish that I could do; if I am having a bad day, he ends up being a depressed, eccentric teenager, which, of course, makes me more grumpy and depressed myself. On the outside, I have always kind of pretended to think that Harry Potter was dumb and that I didn't even like the books because I didn't what everyone to know what was really going on inside of my head for hours out of every day. Today, I have banned myself from reading any of the books or watching any of the movies, since these inevitably make my daydreaming worse. A few times in the past, I have tried to start a story line with my own characters, imagining that if I could harness my creative capacities, I could become a great novelist, but I have never been able to get a complex-enough storyline going that it captivates me like this one does.

It gets worse, though. Sometimes I have really horrible daydreams, almost sadistic. I have had lots of daydreams about children being abused or people being raped. It's not that I enjoy thinking about these things- quite the opposite, they make me very sad. I love children and wish that all children could live happy, peaceful lives. So what is the matter with me? Why do I think about these thinks all of the time? I have never been physically or sexually abused or attacked. Do I just enjoy torturing myself? The only possible answer I have is that I took the OCD Screening Quiz at a href="http://psychcentral.com/ocdquiz.htm">http://psychcentral.com/ocdquiz.htm>; the other day, and it said that it was likely that I have OCD. Could these negative daydream be compulsions? I don't know; I have never seen a psychiatrist about any of these issue. Since I am on my parent's health insurance, I would have to tell them before I see a psychiatrist, and I am not ready to tell my family about this. I have never told anyone about my daydreaming or other mental health issues that I think I may have. I've it seems likely that this sort of disorder could be related to OCD, from what I know about the two of them.

Other than the odd nature of some of my daydreams, everything else seems pretty much in line with the symptoms you all have been describing: started at a young age, gets worse with boredom or certain triggers. Like many of you, I've never had a very good social life. And I read on that people my MD often do "repetitive movement" while daydreaming- that's me; I have always been a pacer. It all totally makes sense now that I know this condition actually exists. Thanks, Cordellia, for getting this site together so that we can connect.

[FudgeCake]

Hey. I'm new to this website so I'm not really sure how this all works. But, I'm 16 and I'd like to find out a bit more about this.

I live in about 4 different fantasy worlds. I've always thought that it was normal. I'm not sure whether I actually have this maladaptive daydreaming thing or not. Two of my fantasy worlds are based on real life people and the other two are based on my two favourite TV shows. I tend to visit my fantasy worlds most at night because I'm alone and there's nobody there to disturb me. However, because I do this, my sleeping pattern is now all wrong. I'll go to bed at about 11 o'clock at night but because I'm alone, I'll visit one of my fantasy worlds. When I do this, time seems to fly by and before I know it, it's about 5 or 6 in the morning. Then I'll sort of, pause the life I'm living in my fantasy world. It's kind of like a never ending DVD that I can just pause, play, rewind or fast forward whenever I want. I'll then go to sleep and then I usually wake up at about 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I hate waking up that late. When I wake up, I always go back to one of my fantasy worlds. It's usually the one I was in the night before. Then, before I know it, my mum's home and it's almost dinner time. When I'm watching TV I will either go to one of my 4 fantasy worlds or I'll imagine myself as one of the characters on the TV show that I'm watching. I'll then start making story lines for them to make their life really interesting. My character is usually always related to one of the other character in the TV show. I’ll either be someone’s daughter or sister. Then, after all that, it's about 11 o'clock again and I haven't done anything all day except day dream. It's like a weird cycle that I can't, and don't want to, get out of.

I was wondering, is this like normal day dreaming? Or is it maladaptive daydreaming? I'm really not sure but I can't stop. It's like an addiction.

I'd just like to say something about one of the fantasy worlds I have because it’s been annoying me for a while (However, this is my favourite fantasy world). It's based on my favourite TV show and because I love the show, I've become slightly obsessed. I have the box set of this show on DVD and I always watch a few episodes before bed (at about 11 o'clock at night) and then I'll also watch a few episodes on my ipod. However, when I'm watching these episodes, it's like I'm not actually watching them. I'm in the fantasy world based on this TV show. It's like watching this show every night is like fuel to keep me daydreaming about it and to make it really clear in my mind. Again, is this normal?

Thanks.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Hi FudgeCake,
This site is for anyone who want to talk, whether they have this or not. Since it hasn't officially been recognized by the Psychological community and is only in its beginning stages of development, there is no concrete criteria for diagnosis. If you'd like to see some preliminary findings, you can look here http://www.scribd.com/doc/20700187/Daydreamers-Anonymous-Prelim-Fin...
Only you can say for sure whether or not it's a problem. The fact that you characterize it as an addiction & spend so much time doing it make me think that you have this "condition". With most things there's a continuum from normal to problematic. One day we may draw lines on it to guide us, but I think there will always be a big grey area between healthy and not. Like wine: Some people can drink on occasion & be just fine. For others it can be a problem & that's not just based on how much you do it. A lot of factors will help you decide if it's too much.
We're still working on understanding this, so feel free to come back & share. Every new perspective is helpful & can teach us. It's also a safe place to go where you can talk freely & no one will think you're weird or judge you. Let me know if you need anything else.



FudgeCake said:

Hey. I'm new to this website so I'm not really sure how this all works. But, I'm 16 and I'd like to find out a bit more about this.

I live in about 4 different fantasy worlds. I've always thought that it was normal. I'm not sure whether I actually have this maladaptive daydreaming thing or not. Two of my fantasy worlds are based on real life people and the other two are based on my two favourite TV shows. I tend to visit my fantasy worlds most at night because I'm alone and there's nobody there to disturb me. However, because I do this, my sleeping pattern is now all wrong. I'll go to bed at about 11 o'clock at night but because I'm alone, I'll visit one of my fantasy worlds. When I do this, time seems to fly by and before I know it, it's about 5 or 6 in the morning. Then I'll sort of, pause the life I'm living in my fantasy world. It's kind of like a never ending DVD that I can just pause, play, rewind or fast forward whenever I want. I'll then go to sleep and then I usually wake up at about 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I hate waking up that late. When I wake up, I always go back to one of my fantasy worlds. It's usually the one I was in the night before. Then, before I know it, my mum's home and it's almost dinner time. When I'm watching TV I will either go to one of my 4 fantasy worlds or I'll imagine myself as one of the characters on the TV show that I'm watching. I'll then start making story lines for them to make their life really interesting. My character is usually always related to one of the other character in the TV show. I’ll either be someone’s daughter or sister. Then, after all that, it's about 11 o'clock again and I haven't done anything all day except day dream. It's like a weird cycle that I can't, and don't want to, get out of.

I was wondering, is this like normal day dreaming? Or is it maladaptive daydreaming? I'm really not sure but I can't stop. It's like an addiction.

I'd just like to say something about one of the fantasy worlds I have because it’s been annoying me for a while (However, this is my favourite fantasy world). It's based on my favourite TV show and because I love the show, I've become slightly obsessed. I have the box set of this show on DVD and I always watch a few episodes before bed (at about 11 o'clock at night) and then I'll also watch a few episodes on my ipod. However, when I'm watching these episodes, it's like I'm not actually watching them. I'm in the fantasy world based on this TV show. It's like watching this show every night is like fuel to keep me daydreaming about it and to make it really clear in my mind. Again, is this normal?

Thanks.

[FudgeCake]

Thanks. I've never told anyone about these little fantasy worlds. I always assumed that it was a normal thing to do. Then I found out that not everyone day dreams as much as me or becomes as obsessed. Especially people that I know. Then I found this website and I think it's great that I'm not the only one. It feels a bit weird talking about my fantasy worlds because I'm a very private person and I find these fantasy worlds to be quite private and personal to me, like a secret that I don't want to share.
I will come back and talk about it more and if it helps people to understand more then all the better.

I'd love to help in any way that I can.

Thanks for the help.

[Rebecca Jay]

This site has really opened my eyes and I feel better knowing i'm not the only one who goes through this.

I have always 'day dreamed' since I was a little kid. My parents worked everyday and I used to watch tv and movies one after the other all day - thinking back now they were quite mature for my age. Their lives were more interesting than mine and I remember how jealous I was of the chaos and structure they had..where they lived, their friends etc and once the movie or show was over I would take it to a whole new level and basically continue the story with me being one of the main characters. I never thought much of it. It got worse when I was about 13 and I used to read 'fanfictions' online obsessively and I would once again all day become that character and have conversations in my head and live in this 'fantasy world' where I'm interesting, intriguing, very beautiful . Now it has gotten to the point where I change fantasy worlds every week and I sometimes use people I know and how I date them and there are scenarios and dialogue everywhere! It gets the point even if I havent even spoken to them in real life it is like we have dated once before. When I see an amazing house I think about it all night and live in a new fantasy with a new scenario. new boyfriend, new school and friends..even parents - and they are interesting people like artists and are always out of town so I have the whole place to myself and i'm so busy in my fantasy worlds, there is always so much to do ' Oh i have to get ready for the dinner party thats on tonight' I would say to my friend.
They arnt always happy perfect worlds, I have lived in a world where I live in a house in a rainforest ( think neverland) and I am a loner, but i'm still beautiful and intriguing to others but i'm surrounded by drugs and parties and I look out and I want to escape. In these type of worlds I am sometimes ' rescued' by someone and everything is okay. If you have seen that movie ' Its complicated' and the beautiful house in that movie - last week I lived in that house in my fantasy world and I would be content and I would be above all the kids in my grade who were soaked up in eachothers awesomeness and I would go home and they would be jealous of how content I was and how perfect everything was.

I never had a problem with this constant day to day day-dreaming, hour upon hour until now where I knew something was up when I came back to reality, I almost didnt know myself, and its like i'm sedated sitting in class when I am in reality and I'm in conversations but I feel like a spectator. I use to be very out going and I had a lot of friends until I cut myself off from reality 2 years ago to sink deeper into the different fantasy worlds. When i'm here in reality I feel like an empty vessel. I used to think I knew myself, I'm cynical and I keep control of myself. But I'm not sure anymore. I have different interests and talents in my fantasy worlds but in reality I dont really know what I like - i'm still an okay musician because its for school but overall it's like i'm a blank canvas and I cant control this addiction to escape. I dont even know if I want to get rid of it because in the end, its all I've got.

I've never told anyone this till now and I cherish the thought that i'm not alone. Thanks so much for making this site.

[Juicylish]

I can't believe that other people share this experience. I am now 35 and have been compulsively daydreaming for as long as I can remember. As a child I used to wish that I could be in an accident that would place me in a coma so that I could live in the other world. I don't wish for that any more (!). I find daydreaming completely seductive, and will do it in preference to most other things. I have also had an eating disorder, and until fairly recently used to abuse painkilling / opiate drugs. Now that I've stopped with the drugs, and am eating healthily & exercising, the urge to daydream has become very strong indeed. I guess this points out that the daydreaming is really just a way to dissociate with reality, albeit a less harmful one than drugs.
One thing that does bug me though is that I now very often think of myself in the third person, narrating what she is doing, and feeling like there is someone else who has been sharing my life. That feeling gets very strong when I've been drinking alcohol, and often leads to very strong thoughts of self harm (I also used to do this, but have pretty much stopped now). As a result I've knocked the drinking out as well.
I worry that I am being hugely unproductive, and that I could achieve so much more if I didn't let myself slip into fantasy. However it is *such* an enjoyable experience that I don't want to try to stop.
I have a successul job, partner, life etc, but feel that I should be doing more. I've never told anyone else about this: I have a good relationship with all my family, but no-one talks about anything difficult.
Does this link into proper dreaming? I dream loads and remember dreams, and sometimes confuse them with reality.

[Nanda Jones]

Wow, I had NO idea there were people ou t there who do this like I do. Cordellia and all who post on this website, you are an unimaginable (even for me, the girl who probably spends most of her time imagining) comfort, and so I thank you.

In answer to your post, my fanatsy worlds are many and varying. Most of the time, they revolve around the books I'm reading or have read. For example, I read a book about fairies two months ago and now they're my main interest. However, if I recently watched the winter Olympics, and instantly became a professional figure skater for a couple of days. Admittedly, I rather like playing the role of villian in my dreams. I always thought this was a way of expressing the dangerous individual inside me who demanded respect. In reality, I'm the timid girl who says nothing and could pass for thepolar opposite of outgoing and confident.

I've been going to these worlds for years. However, all of them are so intriguing that I fear I am too frequently visiting them while I should be tending to other matters. It used to be I would just do it on the weekends. But, over the past couple of years I began visiting these worlds so much it became a second nature.

Did it appear like I wasn't listening? Well, guess what, I wasn't and didn't even know it. I was a million miles away in world's where heroes always pevail, car chases and gun fights are mundane matters and I'm the only one who can see it. My school grades have begun to drop and I am spending less and less time with friends in favor of pacing about my room to music.

Shoot, yesterday an actual car had an terrible crash and skidded to a halt not 20 feet from me and I didn't even notice, because I was too engrossed in my own thoughts.