Fantasy Worlds

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Have you been living in a fantasy world? Tell me about it.

[Heinriech Heisner]

Well, I tried taking something that was suppose to induce mild hallucinations. Although I endured ten hours of nausea and never actually saw a hallucination, I would have to say this was an overall good experience. The only thing close to a hallucination was my ability to dicipher the dark and light areas of my carpet with more detail than normal. This was good as it taught me to be more aware of my surroundings by noticing the subtle hints left behind by, in this instance, someone walking across the room and leaving "footprings" of where he was.

More importantly, the moment between feelings of nausea I discovered the sensation of what it is like to be normal. For two hours I felt clear-minded, was serious about my work and focused. I felt relaxed and happy, rather than my usual anxiety and ease to anger mood. I still daydreamed, but my mind no longer wandered. I was in control. I got some good work done in those two hours. Then slowly I began to feel like Charlie from the short story, "Flowers for Algernon" as my "stupidity" returned me to my natural state. I could remember what it had felt like, what I wanted to feel like, but it was all gone now. Although as enlightening as the experience is, I wouldn't go through the ten plus hours of agony, plus the next day's mild headache to experience it on a regular basis. Perhaps there is a different approach to getting there.

I looked up the ingredients in my drug and did some research on each. There were only three, and one seemed to describe the reasons for feeling the way that I did. I mean, the side affects due to low levels of it in the brain seemed to describe me pretty well and the drug had produced higher levels of this chemical that I seem to be lacking. More testing will need to be done to learn more.

I like to take something from each of my experiences and in this case I discovered something I wasn't even looking for. It's kind of exciting.

Heinriech Heisner said:

Hey Cordellia,
Yes, you are right. I have thought about the possibility that if I was not in control of the hullicinations, whether or not I would know what was real or not. I do have an interest however at what my brain is capable of. I've used alcohol to increase my awareness of thought. I'll plan to drink enough where most people get goofy, but not to get sick. I did that once and that wasn't fun. But my only goal in drinking like that is to fight the alcohol. I can do it fairly well now. I mean, I have my physical limitations. My body functions differently with a foreign substance in it, but I'm impressed by how well I can fight it. It's hard. It takes a lot of energy, but it makes me stronger each time.

I got high once and it wasn't by choice. My friends were smoking around me and I guess I caught wiff of it. We were at a night club and it felt like I was dreaming. No hallucinations. I just sat quietly and tried to fight it. I had a very hard time keeping attention and it ruined the night for me. But I want to recreate that experience in a controlled setting. It would be one thing to be able to oontrol it; it would be another to teach my brain how to do it by itself...The real goal here isn't necessarlily to project my fantasy into the real world though. I dream of being able to perceive the world in new ways, much like if I was able to connect a computer to my brain and enter into a VR world. I could take snap shots and store them away for later. Write notes I could visably see. Create projections of people and places. Memories could be in HD 3D, so to say. It's a little crazy and it is a fantasy of mine, but I like my imagination to be somewhat rooted in the real world. If it's possible, cool; if not, it's a fun dream to imagine about.

Thanks for Cynthia's email, I just sent her one.
Night,
Heinriech

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Hi there. Sorry if this is short. I've been at Saturday Market all day.
As for hallucinations: I've never tried it, but I suspect it's possible. I, for one, am afraid of hallucinations. My fantasy world (it's been one main one for over 20 years) has been so real & encompassing that I've always had a fear I'd go crazy & lose what little grip I had on reality. I've had a lot of insomnia problems over the years and one of the side-effects is in-between states where you're partially asleep and partially awake. Usually I'm mostly one or the other, so it's uncomfortable but not disturbing. I did have a few episodes where I was stuck halfway in between, and that really was scary because I couldn't tell if I was awake or not. I was sitting up looking around me & trying to decide if I was in my room or at the store, where my dream was. It felt like hours before I finally figured out I should lay down & go to sleep. I've also had some problems with marijuana in the past, and that would make me so paranoid I'd almost hallucinate. Lately I've been dreaming about my fantasy characters at times. While none of these are hallucinations per se, they're close enough to make it seem very possible. I'm still not sure why you'd want to though. Aren't you worried you'll lose grip on reality? You may not. It's just a fear of mine.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Hi Meghan,
Sorry I didn't respond before. It's too hard to say who has MD and who doesn't because we're still learning so much about it. There are NO set criteria and no fixed description. It's hasn't even been recognized as an official disorder. We're working hard to understand it, and the only way we can do that is through the input of people who are experiencing this.
I am certain that not everyone has the same symptoms. As with many conditions, people can have it to very different degrees. Some people, like me, have been doing this all their lives, but many haven't. Some people start when they're a child, and some don't start until later in life, even in their 30s or 40s. For some it's like an addiction, and for others it's just like a really strong hobby they don't want to let go of. Not everyone has it to the same degree. Not everyone paces or does some sort of movement. I don't. I usually lie on my futon & relax. I also do it everywhere I go. I almost never pace. For me, it's been a very creative process as well. Though I'm part of the storylines, the other characters lead very detailed lives, and I'm not involved in every storyline and scenario. Some storylines are from many, many years ago before I was born, and my character isn't part of those. I'd write them down, but they're far too intricate.
I don't know whether or not you have this. Just don't discount it because your symptoms don't match. Lots of new people have come here with new symptoms, and they've all taught us a lot. This information is important, so we can understand this. The psychological community will learn from us, but if we don't share are stories then they'll never understand. Thx for sharing & please feel free to continue.

Meghan said:

First of all, I want to say that I don't have MD. At least, I don't think so. I don't have all the symptoms, because my daydreaming has never affected my real life, and my head never starts to hurt when I'm daydreaming, and I never pace or twitch or anything. And I have never gotten the real world and my fantasy world confused with each other. But I still daydream A LOT.

I started daydreaming when I was 9 (I'm 13 now). I daydream mostly when I'm bored, or while I'm doing my hair or when I'm in the shower or something. And I find myself daydreaming a lot when I listen to music. My daydreaming never distracts me, because I can sort of control it. For example, I can stop daydreaming to do my homework, but then I'll start daydreaming again right after that. I can never seem to stop daydreaming altogether, though. Except lately, I've found that writing down my daydreams helps a lot, and ever since I started carrying a journal with me everywhere, I've been daydreaming a lot less. If you ever met me in real life, you would have no idea how much I daydream. xD I think I might just have an overactive imagination, because I'm an only child and I need something to keep me busy.

My daydreams are not about me. I have never been in my daydreams. That's why I don't like to call them daydreams, I usually call it "the neverending story in my head". My stories are about these characters that I made up... most of them look like celebrities, but I changed their names and gave them different personalities and interests. I actually have 3 different stories that I like to think about. The world that my characters live in is not on another planet, it's not in another universe, it's just the Earth, like it is now. Except I sort of changed some things. xD For example, it's perfectly acceptable, where my characters live, to keep hot chocolate in your basement [long story]. Or to have tattoos when you're 14. xD If I ever see something in a movie or on TV that I like, or if I read something in a book that I like, or even if I just think of something that I think is interesting, I'll just put it into my story. I know that I mentioned before that I am not in my story, but I've found that a lot of my characters [even the guy characters sometimes!] represent me in a way. I think that I keep thinking about this story, because I want my life to be interesting, like my characters's lives are. I just can't seem to realize that if I want my life to be interesting, I should actually do something to make it interesting instead of sitting around imagining about how interesting my life could be.

Except for my mom, my best friend, and of course, you guys, I have never told anyone about my stories. I'm afraid they'll think I'm a freak. But I swear I'm not!! xD Before last week, I didn't even know that this had a name, or that there were other people that think of stories besides me. My mom thinks that I'm looking too much into this, that I just have an overactive imagination and that there's nothing to worry about. And I think she might be right. But it still feels good to know that I'm not the only one.

Wow. This was a long comment. Sorry! x'DDD

[Jessie]

I can't begin to tell you how good it feels to get this off my chest...
I never thought of my endless daydreaming as a problem until recently when I realized how intrusive it's become on my real life. I'm 29 years old and have been fantasizng as early as I can remember. The earliest memory I have of making up stories in my head is 5 years old. As I got older they just got more elaborate and realistic in detail, I guess as they should but fantasizing was always preferable to any real life activity. For the past few years specifically, I've been so enveloped in these daydreams that I wasn't able to see the effect on the quality of my life. Reading books, I drift off, watching television I drift off, amidst a group of people I drift off. I handle my responsibilities but just so I can get back to fantasizing, it sounds ridiculous I know to most people, but there isn't much I enjoy more. Some "scenarios/stories" last months and I spend hours working them in my head like a movie, like the one I'm involved in now. Just like a previous poster, I admit, and only here, that I am in love with someone who doesn't exist. It's painful to come out of the fantasy into reality and know that I'll never get to touch him in this life or I'll never even get to see a picture of him.

I'd be willing to answer some of Cynthia's questions if its truly confidential. No one at all knows about my addiction to a fictional world. I love fantasizing, I don't want to stop but it's ruining my life. I'm becoming forgetful, crabby when I'm interrupted during a fantasy, and even neglecting my responsibilities. I clean less, pay little attention to detail, sort of feel robotic in my day to day activities, I pay little attention to my husband and sometimes even compare him to my fantasy love. I hate myself for knowing that I may be missing out on the small things that my 3 year old is learning to do. I know I may be missing out on so many things real life has to offer but then again I feel like I have no interest in participating that way. I don't have friends, I'm awkward around people because I hate small talk, or I get just plain bored listening to the mundaneness of their lives. My life isn't anything to talk about either, probably because I prefer the limitless choices of fantasy. I don't mind spending weekends not doing anything as long as I can daydream. I'm upset that I've let it get so out of hand. I'm never happier than when I'm with my fantasy love. It's a love I've never felt --from someone I'll never meet. I'm afraid that at some point I'll forget its a fantasy and I'll run across the country in search of him -- and find him -- but again that sounds just like one of my daydreams.

I read a set of symptoms on daydreamdisorder.com and each describes me to a "T" (minus the repetitive movements - when I zone out I stare). I know this is not just an ordinary case of daydreaming. I'm almost 30 and my fantasies are what I love most about life (besides my son). I know being forgetful is part of the consequences of being so involved in daydreaming, feeling depressed when you have to come back to the real world. I don't want to stop but maybe find a better way to manage it. It sounds like crazy talk from an addict but I don't know what else to do.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

You don't sound crazy. You sound just like me. I had an exam today & walked out because I struggled to study all week & just ended up daydreaming. I somehow managed to learn most of it, but when I saw the material today I completely froze up & forgot how to do it. I completely panicked, and even though I had a 1488-word cheat sheet, I couldn't make sense of the words and apply them to what I was doing. This happens all the time. This is how I live.

It's a constant struggle. I am an addict, and I can't stop. It ebbs and flows, but when things are better that never means I'm cured or even really improved. Things just come & go. They get better & they get worse again. I have no control & struggle every day.

Cynthia's questionnaire is completely anonymous. She's writing a paper but will not use any names. I've told her I can use mine, but she would NEVER DREAM OF IT without anyone's permission. Here's a link to a previous paper as an example. http://www.scribd.com/doc/20700187/Daydreamers-Anonymous-Prelim-Fin...

Thank you for sharing your story. The more stories we get, the more we'll feel less alone, help other people feel less alone, and simply gather more information to teach the world about this.


Jessie said:

I can't begin to tell you how good it feels to get this off my chest...
I never thought of my endless daydreaming as a problem until recently when I realized how intrusive it's become on my real life. I'm 29 years old and have been fantasizng as early as I can remember. The earliest memory I have of making up stories in my head is 5 years old. As I got older they just got more elaborate and realistic in detail, I guess as they should but fantasizing was always preferable to any real life activity. For the past few years specifically, I've been so enveloped in these daydreams that I wasn't able to see the effect on the quality of my life. Reading books, I drift off, watching television I drift off, amidst a group of people I drift off. I handle my responsibilities but just so I can get back to fantasizing, it sounds ridiculous I know to most people, but there isn't much I enjoy more. Some "scenarios/stories" last months and I spend hours working them in my head like a movie, like the one I'm involved in now. Just like a previous poster, I admit, and only here, that I am in love with someone who doesn't exist. It's painful to come out of the fantasy into reality and know that I'll never get to touch him in this life or I'll never even get to see a picture of him.

I'd be willing to answer some of Cynthia's questions if its truly confidential. No one at all knows about my addiction to a fictional world. I love fantasizing, I don't want to stop but it's ruining my life. I'm becoming forgetful, crabby when I'm interrupted during a fantasy, and even neglecting my responsibilities. I clean less, pay little attention to detail, sort of feel robotic in my day to day activities, I pay little attention to my husband and sometimes even compare him to my fantasy love. I hate myself for knowing that I may be missing out on the small things that my 3 year old is learning to do. I know I may be missing out on so many things real life has to offer but then again I feel like I have no interest in participating that way. I don't have friends, I'm awkward around people because I hate small talk, or I get just plain bored listening to the mundaneness of their lives. My life isn't anything to talk about either, probably because I prefer the limitless choices of fantasy. I don't mind spending weekends not doing anything as long as I can daydream. I'm upset that I've let it get so out of hand. I'm never happier than when I'm with my fantasy love. It's a love I've never felt --from someone I'll never meet. I'm afraid that at some point I'll forget its a fantasy and I'll run across the country in search of him -- and find him -- but again that sounds just like one of my daydreams.

I read a set of symptoms on daydreamdisorder.com and each describes me to a "T" (minus the repetitive movements - when I zone out I stare). I know this is not just an ordinary case of daydreaming. I'm almost 30 and my fantasies are what I love most about life (besides my son). I know being forgetful is part of the consequences of being so involved in daydreaming, feeling depressed when you have to come back to the real world. I don't want to stop but maybe find a better way to manage it. It sounds like crazy talk from an addict but I don't know what else to do.

[Cynthia Schupak]

Jessie said:

I can't begin to tell you how good it feels to get this off my chest...
I never thought of my endless daydreaming as a problem until recently when I realized how intrusive it's become on my real life. I'm 29 years old and have been fantasizng as early as I can remember. The earliest memory I have of making up stories in my head is 5 years old. As I got older they just got more elaborate and realistic in detail, I guess as they should but fantasizing was always preferable to any real life activity. For the past few years specifically, I've been so enveloped in these daydreams that I wasn't able to see the effect on the quality of my life. Reading books, I drift off, watching television I drift off, amidst a group of people I drift off. I handle my responsibilities but just so I can get back to fantasizing, it sounds ridiculous I know to most people, but there isn't much I enjoy more. Some "scenarios/stories" last months and I spend hours working them in my head like a movie, like the one I'm involved in now. Just like a previous poster, I admit, and only here, that I am in love with someone who doesn't exist. It's painful to come out of the fantasy into reality and know that I'll never get to touch him in this life or I'll never even get to see a picture of him.

I'd be willing to answer some of Cynthia's questions if its truly confidential. No one at all knows about my addiction to a fictional world. I love fantasizing, I don't want to stop but it's ruining my life. I'm becoming forgetful, crabby when I'm interrupted during a fantasy, and even neglecting my responsibilities. I clean less, pay little attention to detail, sort of feel robotic in my day to day activities, I pay little attention to my husband and sometimes even compare him to my fantasy love. I hate myself for knowing that I may be missing out on the small things that my 3 year old is learning to do. I know I may be missing out on so many things real life has to offer but then again I feel like I have no interest in participating that way. I don't have friends, I'm awkward around people because I hate small talk, or I get just plain bored listening to the mundaneness of their lives. My life isn't anything to talk about either, probably because I prefer the limitless choices of fantasy. I don't mind spending weekends not doing anything as long as I can daydream. I'm upset that I've let it get so out of hand. I'm never happier than when I'm with my fantasy love. It's a love I've never felt --from someone I'll never meet. I'm afraid that at some point I'll forget its a fantasy and I'll run across the country in search of him -- and find him -- but again that sounds just like one of my daydreams.

I read a set of symptoms on daydreamdisorder.com and each describes me to a "T" (minus the repetitive movements - when I zone out I stare). I know this is not just an ordinary case of daydreaming. I'm almost 30 and my fantasies are what I love most about life (besides my son). I know being forgetful is part of the consequences of being so involved in daydreaming, feeling depressed when you have to come back to the real world. I don't want to stop but maybe find a better way to manage it. It sounds like crazy talk from an addict but I don't know what else to do.

[Cynthia Schupak]

Hi Jessie,
All of our subjects (83 to date) are treated with complete confidentiality -- no names, email addresses, or other identifying material is used. Subjects are assigned a number followed by their gender and approximate age (you must be 18 or over at this point; we are no longer able to enroll younger subjects without parental consent). We are in the process of summarizing the results of the survey answers we've received from all of our participants, and hope to have our paper completed and submitted for publication by late summer, so we are in a bit of a time crunch. However, we are still enrolling subjects...it just means I have to keep updating my summary statistics for each of the symptom categories covered by our survey questions. This syndrome is, as Cordellia has stated, a spectrum or continuum condition: some individuals suffer intensely, others only moderately, and some have their fantasy episodes completely under control, and can enjoy them as well as living a fulfilling and productive everyday lives. It is a fascinating, perplexing, and elusive phenomenon and we truly hope that our research, once peer-reviewed and published, will be taken seriously by other researchers and clinicians (ok, where's spell check?)
Anyway, let's hear it for our Daydreaming Poster Child - Cordellia Amethyste Rose...babe, this site rocks!
Cynthia Schupak

[Erin]

Might as well add my symptoms here, seems to be the main discussion on the site. Really long post ahead:

Huge huge thankyou to Cordelia Amethyste Rose – I know you get lots of thanks from us site newbies. You’ve done something here I never had the courage or initiative to do. This site is so important.

I’ve daydreamed excessively as far back as I can remember, at least since kindergarten. Books, TV, movies, music can all spark fantasy worlds in my head. Music is often a big part of my daydreaming but I can daydream just as easily without it.

There have been periods in my life when I have functioned pretty well and been successful in school, work, relationships. I still daydreamed excessively, but kept it in check just enough to do other things well. There have been other periods in my life where I find it near to impossible to do anything but daydream, and even my sleep and eating is very affected. My work and my relationships with other people suffer terribly.

I used to pace a lot when I daydreamed, but don’t much anymore. I mostly sit & stare. My muscles are very tense when I daydream. When I’m at my worst, I don’t even sleep because I can’t stop, even when I desperately need sleep & would give anything to sleep, until I’m so exhausted my body finally takes over and forces sleep. During times like that I don’t eat well either, for the same reason. I can daydream while I eat, but getting there requires stopping daydreaming long enough to think about what to eat, etc.

Those very worst times are the only times I experience the dizziness/nausea that Cordelia talks about. I figured it was due to pure exhaustion, lack of proper food & sleep. Also I do talk to myself a little, make hand gestures, laugh out loud, and rarely, cry, when I daydream.

Years ago, because I studied psychology in school, I figured there must be some diagnosis or treatment for my problem. I tried to get help and of course no psychologist or psychiatrist had ever heard of what I claimed was my problem. They also did not seem to believe I could really be addicted to daydreaming.

I ended up being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder with some OCD symptoms. I did in fact have other anxiety disorder symptoms at that time, including panic attacks. Paxil was prescribed. I took first low, then progressively higher doses – my psychiatrist thought higher doses would be needed to control obsessive thought patterns (which is how he classed my daydreaming). Paxil almost totally cured my anxiety symptoms, even way before I got to the higher doses. It barely helped my daydreaming at all, if any, even at the highest doses.

I had the daydreaming problem long before any severe anxiety problems, and the daydreaming problem continued long after my severe anxiety problems went away. The consequences of my MD, however, do cause me a lot anxiety and depression – I believe anxiety and depression are a RESULT of my MD, not the other way around.

[Helen Rose]

Hi,

I'm Helen, this is my first post on here - so be gentle ;) I've always been a daydreamer, a bit of a fantasist, right back to when I was little - my parents always encouraged make believe play, I had a really epic dressing-up box, and my older brother was always up for a bit of high fantasy play xD As I got older though I realised that this behaviour was becoming less and less acceptable - I had imaginary friends until I was about 7 or 8, and then realised that all my other friends had grown out of it and that I was expected to as well. I was still a fairly heavy daydreame, but there was nothing especially distressing about it because I a) figured everyone was like this and b) could manage in school and in my social life alright despite the daydreaming.

It wasn't until I was about 12 or 13 that things got more difficult and more upsetting; I moved from my mother's house where I lived with my brother to my father's house with my step-mum and two step-sisters. This, for some reason, triggered a serious bout of depression in my mother, and I blamed myself entirely for it. About that time, I started having imaginary friends again - people I would talk to about my feelings, who I would imagine comforting me and looking after me. Basically, these imaginary companions took on a role that I wasn't comfortable for my real life friends to take on.

My daydreams are almost always conversations. They take place in an imagined future where I have achieved my goals; sometimes I dream about being on a talk-show and answering questions about a film I’ve just written or a band that I’m in, and sometimes I’m talking to a person that I admire in real life, for example an actor or a director, that I hope to work with in the future and we’re talking about the work that I’ve done with them. For example, currently I spend a lot of time daydreaming about a comic that I’m writing; I imagine meeting the artist, working on the comic, going to conventions where people interview me about it, and essentially use daydreams as a way of exploring what I want to get out of the project – I’ll imagine someone asking me about the motivation behind it, and then spend time talking to them about it, changing my mind, going over it in my head until I know what my motivation actually is. I also daydream about being friends with people that I admire, which is one type of daydream that causes me a lot of distress; I imagine walking the dogs with Nathan Fillion or Guy Garvey, for example, and we’ll share jokes and chat about things like normal friends do. In these daydreams I mostly enjoy hearing the other person’s voice as closely to their real life voice as possible, and rather than the talk-show host or the imaginary convention-goers, their input and their presence serve a purpose in itself rather than simply being something for me to bounce ideas off. Essentially, they are keeping me company. If there is nothing else I need to concentrate on, I will spend that time thinking about achieving my goals, no matter how ridiculous they seem in real life. In addition, I sometimes pretend there are people that I do know sitting with me and I talk to them.

As well as conversational daydreams, I have a lot of daydreams that are as simple as pretending I’m in a different place altogether, for example in a park or getting my hair cut. These daydreams are incredibly detailed, I can imagine every sense experience involved and I concentrate on them until they are crystal clear in my mind. I can taste, feel, and smell things in these daydreams – I know they aren’t real sensations, but I can imagine them to the point where they feel almost real.

I also daydream frequently about situations that don’t involve me at all – these daydreams take the form of making up stories in my head or adding my own “episodes” to TV shows I enjoy. Often these are highly fantastical and very, very detailed. I tend to go over the same daydreams again and again for a period of time before moving onto to different ones. Then I will often go back later on to something I haven’t thought about for a while.

Daydreaming hasn't had too bad an impact on my social life when it comes to friends - I have a lot of friends and very much value and appreciate my relationships with them, and while there are only a handful that I will speak honestly to about the darkest parts of my brain, I really don't think this is a big issue. However, I have extremely strained relationships with my family; they find it very hard to understand that I'm just not connected to the world in the same way as them, and they get very frustrated with the fact that I'm very rarely seen to be paying full attention to them and their way of life. I don't mean to be rude, and I certainly don't mean to upset them, but I just can't switch off the daydreaming and switch the rest of me on.

While the daydreaming hasn't had a hugely impairing effect on my life in some ways, on a personal level I find it very distressing and it makes me quite anxious; I feel as if I'm dreaming my life away, and I worry that I'll spend so much time constructing bizarre, unattainable futures for myself that I'll neglect my actual future. I try and turn my daydreaming from a negative to a positive by writing the story-type daydreams down, or by using them to find inspiration for something to write or create, but in all honesty I'd so much rather lie in bed all day, every day, staring at the ceiling than bother getting up and actually achieving anything.

For me, daydreaming is not so much an addiction as a fact of my existence - I don't indulge in it any more than I indulge in breathing, and it frustrates me when people act like this is some sort of quaint affectation of mine. While I daydream, I tend to vocalise my part of the conversation and will often fiddle with things like my clothes or blue tack or something, normally while either lying or standing still and staring at a fixed point. Hold that image in your mind. In short, I look like a nutter ;-)

[Alex in Wonderland]

I am very happy and relieved to have found this website! Throughout all the years I've been using the Internet, I've been trying desperately to find other people who daydream as often and as intensely as I do. Before discovering this website, the only other people whom I talked to who had intense fantasy worlds were schizophrenics who believed that their worlds and characters were real. I knew that that wasn't anything like me, because I have always been able to distinguish between fantasy and reality. I also tried looking for adults with imaginary friends, because I've always referred to the characters who reside in my daydream worlds as "imaginary friends" even though they don't technically function like traditional imaginary friends. I almost completely gave up looking for others like me, but one day I came across the Wikipedia article for Maladaptive Daydreaming, decided to google it, and the rest is history. :)

I'm a "lifer" - I've been daydreaming as far back as I can remember, starting from around the age of 3 (I'm 20 now). The vast majority of characters who reside in my daydreams have always been characters from whichever TV shows or movies I am obsessed with at a given time, and they interact with my idealized self and each other in a setting which I create myself. I tweak the characters' backstories, lifestyles and even personalities in whichever ways I deem fit for the stories I make up about them. In a couple of cases, this has led to the characters barely resembling their "canon" selves. Starting from around the age of 16, I have enjoyed playing "matchmaker" for the characters in my world. I am addicted to slash (same-sex) pairings, and one of my favorite things to do is to pair off characters from different shows/movies whom I think would go well together. I enjoy making up children for them because I think it's fun and interesting to imagine the genetics, parenting styles and family dynamics of different characters.

I have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (a form of high-functioning autism), OCD, anxiety disorder and depression. I am on several medications for the latter three, all of which have worked miraculously well and have greatly improved my quality of life. My autism has caused me to be socially inept and unable to work a job or live on my own. I cannot drive either, so I am often stuck at home for days upon days. I very seldom get bored though, because I immerse myself as deeply as I can in my fantasy world.

I access my fantasy world by listening to music on my iPod and running around in circles out in the park that's literally right outside my backyard. I have been made fun of by people for this, but it doesn't bother me very much. When I am in my fantasy world, I am completely oblivious and almost literally blind to everything that is going on in the real world. Therefore, I am not allowed to run in the park unless one of my family members is home to watch over me from the kitchen window. If  no one is home with me, if the weather is bad or if it is the middle of the night, I listen to my iPod and pace around my room while walking on tip-toes.

I become very upset and angry if I am interrupted while in my fantasy world. There are some days when I wish everyone would just go away and leave me alone so that I can have hours and hours of uninterrupted daydreaming time.

My urge to daydream becomes overpowering when I watch one of the movies which contain characters who reside in my fantasy world. Many times I can't finish the movie in one sitting because the urge to daydream becomes so strong that I have to pause the movie so that I can pace and go visit the characters in my fantasy world.

[Nico Lilly]

Hello! I find it fascinating that you have Aspergers Syndrome because I work with teenagers who have "intellectual disabilities" including Autism and Aspergers. You write amazingly well, I've never met anyone on the Autistic Spectrum who is so articulate! There is a young man at my work, he has MD, only I know that of course, everyone else just thinks that he likes to run around and talk to himself because of his intellectual disability!

He gets really, really angry if someone interrupts him. He once told me he was going to get his spaceship to blow me up after I asked him if he wanted to go to the park! He has also threatened to burn down the building if we interrupted him again!

This is sometimes how I feel when interrupted, except I have a "filter" that tells me how to respond in an appropriate manner and he is just completely honest!

Alex in Wonderland said:

I am very happy and relieved to have found this website! Throughout all the years I've been using the Internet, I've been trying desperately to find other people who daydream as often and as intensely as I do. Before discovering this website, the only other people whom I talked to who had intense fantasy worlds were schizophrenics who believed that their worlds and characters were real. I knew that that wasn't anything like me, because I have always been able to distinguish between fantasy and reality. I also tried looking for adults with imaginary friends, because I've always referred to the characters who reside in my daydream worlds as "imaginary friends" even though they don't technically function like traditional imaginary friends. I almost completely gave up looking for others like me, but one day I came across the Wikipedia article for Maladaptive Daydreaming, decided to google it, and the rest is history. :)

I'm a "lifer" - I've been daydreaming as far back as I can remember, starting from around the age of 3 (I'm 20 now). The vast majority of characters who reside in my daydreams have always been characters from whichever TV shows or movies I am obsessed with at a given time, and they interact with my idealized self and each other in a setting which I create myself. I tweak the characters' backstories, lifestyles and even personalities in whichever ways I deem fit for the stories I make up about them. In a couple of cases, this has led to the characters barely resembling their "canon" selves. Starting from around the age of 16, I have enjoyed playing "matchmaker" for the characters in my world. I am addicted to slash (same-sex) pairings, and one of my favorite things to do is to pair off characters from different shows/movies whom I think would go well together. I enjoy making up children for them because I think it's fun and interesting to imagine the genetics, parenting styles and family dynamics of different characters.

I have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (a form of high-functioning autism), OCD, anxiety disorder and depression. I am on several medications for the latter three, all of which have worked miraculously well and have greatly improved my quality of life. My autism has caused me to be socially inept and unable to work a job or live on my own. I cannot drive either, so I am often stuck at home for days upon days. I very seldom get bored though, because I immerse myself as deeply as I can in my fantasy world.

I access my fantasy world by listening to music on my iPod and running around in circles out in the park that's literally right outside my backyard. I have been made fun of by people for this, but it doesn't bother me very much. When I am in my fantasy world, I am completely oblivious and almost literally blind to everything that is going on in the real world. Therefore, I am not allowed to run in the park unless one of my family members is home to watch over me from the kitchen window. If  no one is home with me, if the weather is bad or if it is the middle of the night, I listen to my iPod and pace around my room while walking on tip-toes.

I become very upset and angry if I am interrupted while in my fantasy world. There are some days when I wish everyone would just go away and leave me alone so that I can have hours and hours of uninterrupted daydreaming time.

My urge to daydream becomes overpowering when I watch one of the movies which contain characters who reside in my fantasy world. Many times I can't finish the movie in one sitting because the urge to daydream becomes so strong that I have to pause the movie so that I can pace and go visit the characters in my fantasy world.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Lots of people who get diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (formerly called Asperger's) are very intelligent and articulate.  I have the diagnosis as well, but I avoid telling people for the simple reason that I get tired of being told how surprisingly smart I am.  People really instantly prepare to treat you differently, handle you with kid gloves, and essentially talk down to you.  It's completely inappropriate.  I really hope to change the stigma around this & other conditions.  It's just a way of thinking.  It's not a handicap or a defect.  Neither is MD or any other psychological condition.  There is nothing defective about us.....any of us.  When people try to help me, advise me, or tell me I'm "so smart"........like they were assuming otherwise, I have to really correct them.  No one is in a position to look down upon or fix me.  I'm not broken.  This attitude is broken.  

Nico Lilly said:

Hello! I find it fascinating that you have Aspergers Syndrome because I work with teenagers who have "intellectual disabilities" including Autism and Aspergers. You write amazingly well, I've never met anyone on the Autistic Spectrum who is so articulate! There is a young man at my work, he has MD, only I know that of course, everyone else just thinks that he likes to run around and talk to himself because of his intellectual disability!

He gets really, really angry if someone interrupts him. He once told me he was going to get his spaceship to blow me up after I asked him if he wanted to go to the park! He has also threatened to burn down the building if we interrupted him again!

This is sometimes how I feel when interrupted, except I have a "filter" that tells me how to respond in an appropriate manner and he is just completely honest!

Alex in Wonderland said:

I am very happy and relieved to have found this website! Throughout all the years I've been using the Internet, I've been trying desperately to find other people who daydream as often and as intensely as I do. Before discovering this website, the only other people whom I talked to who had intense fantasy worlds were schizophrenics who believed that their worlds and characters were real. I knew that that wasn't anything like me, because I have always been able to distinguish between fantasy and reality. I also tried looking for adults with imaginary friends, because I've always referred to the characters who reside in my daydream worlds as "imaginary friends" even though they don't technically function like traditional imaginary friends. I almost completely gave up looking for others like me, but one day I came across the Wikipedia article for Maladaptive Daydreaming, decided to google it, and the rest is history. :)

I'm a "lifer" - I've been daydreaming as far back as I can remember, starting from around the age of 3 (I'm 20 now). The vast majority of characters who reside in my daydreams have always been characters from whichever TV shows or movies I am obsessed with at a given time, and they interact with my idealized self and each other in a setting which I create myself. I tweak the characters' backstories, lifestyles and even personalities in whichever ways I deem fit for the stories I make up about them. In a couple of cases, this has led to the characters barely resembling their "canon" selves. Starting from around the age of 16, I have enjoyed playing "matchmaker" for the characters in my world. I am addicted to slash (same-sex) pairings, and one of my favorite things to do is to pair off characters from different shows/movies whom I think would go well together. I enjoy making up children for them because I think it's fun and interesting to imagine the genetics, parenting styles and family dynamics of different characters.

I have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (a form of high-functioning autism), OCD, anxiety disorder and depression. I am on several medications for the latter three, all of which have worked miraculously well and have greatly improved my quality of life. My autism has caused me to be socially inept and unable to work a job or live on my own. I cannot drive either, so I am often stuck at home for days upon days. I very seldom get bored though, because I immerse myself as deeply as I can in my fantasy world.

I access my fantasy world by listening to music on my iPod and running around in circles out in the park that's literally right outside my backyard. I have been made fun of by people for this, but it doesn't bother me very much. When I am in my fantasy world, I am completely oblivious and almost literally blind to everything that is going on in the real world. Therefore, I am not allowed to run in the park unless one of my family members is home to watch over me from the kitchen window. If  no one is home with me, if the weather is bad or if it is the middle of the night, I listen to my iPod and pace around my room while walking on tip-toes.

I become very upset and angry if I am interrupted while in my fantasy world. There are some days when I wish everyone would just go away and leave me alone so that I can have hours and hours of uninterrupted daydreaming time.

My urge to daydream becomes overpowering when I watch one of the movies which contain characters who reside in my fantasy world. Many times I can't finish the movie in one sitting because the urge to daydream becomes so strong that I have to pause the movie so that I can pace and go visit the characters in my fantasy world.

[Nico Lilly]

Actually the "Autistic Spectrum" refers to all the associated "disorders"including Asperges. They change the definition often as they learn more about it. Aspergers is in itself a separate diagnosis on the spectrum. There's good info here: http://www.asperger-advice.com/autism-spectrum-disorders.html

I was not trying to be derogatory at all, I fight for awareness, acceptance and inclusion as part of my job and it's a job I am very passionate about. I was merely saying that the teenagers I work with cannot write well at all (mainly due to the education system giving up on them or writing them off at an early age). Believe me, I know how intelligent the people at my work are, usually far more than most of the people I know.

 

Sorry if I offended, it was not my intent.

Cordellia Amethyste Rose said:

Lots of people who get diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (formerly called Asperger's) are very intelligent and articulate.  I have the diagnosis as well, but I avoid telling people for the simple reason that I get tired of being told how surprisingly smart I am.  People really instantly prepare to treat you differently, handle you with kid gloves, and essentially talk down to you.  It's completely inappropriate.  I really hope to change the stigma around this & other conditions.  It's just a way of thinking.  It's not a handicap or a defect.  Neither is MD or any other psychological condition.  There is nothing defective about us.....any of us.  When people try to help me, advise me, or tell me I'm "so smart"........like they were assuming otherwise, I have to really correct them.  No one is in a position to look down upon or fix me.  I'm not broken.  This attitude is broken.  

Nico Lilly said:

Hello! I find it fascinating that you have Aspergers Syndrome because I work with teenagers who have "intellectual disabilities" including Autism and Aspergers. You write amazingly well, I've never met anyone on the Autistic Spectrum who is so articulate! There is a young man at my work, he has MD, only I know that of course, everyone else just thinks that he likes to run around and talk to himself because of his intellectual disability!

He gets really, really angry if someone interrupts him. He once told me he was going to get his spaceship to blow me up after I asked him if he wanted to go to the park! He has also threatened to burn down the building if we interrupted him again!

This is sometimes how I feel when interrupted, except I have a "filter" that tells me how to respond in an appropriate manner and he is just completely honest!

Alex in Wonderland said:

I am very happy and relieved to have found this website! Throughout all the years I've been using the Internet, I've been trying desperately to find other people who daydream as often and as intensely as I do. Before discovering this website, the only other people whom I talked to who had intense fantasy worlds were schizophrenics who believed that their worlds and characters were real. I knew that that wasn't anything like me, because I have always been able to distinguish between fantasy and reality. I also tried looking for adults with imaginary friends, because I've always referred to the characters who reside in my daydream worlds as "imaginary friends" even though they don't technically function like traditional imaginary friends. I almost completely gave up looking for others like me, but one day I came across the Wikipedia article for Maladaptive Daydreaming, decided to google it, and the rest is history. :)

I'm a "lifer" - I've been daydreaming as far back as I can remember, starting from around the age of 3 (I'm 20 now). The vast majority of characters who reside in my daydreams have always been characters from whichever TV shows or movies I am obsessed with at a given time, and they interact with my idealized self and each other in a setting which I create myself. I tweak the characters' backstories, lifestyles and even personalities in whichever ways I deem fit for the stories I make up about them. In a couple of cases, this has led to the characters barely resembling their "canon" selves. Starting from around the age of 16, I have enjoyed playing "matchmaker" for the characters in my world. I am addicted to slash (same-sex) pairings, and one of my favorite things to do is to pair off characters from different shows/movies whom I think would go well together. I enjoy making up children for them because I think it's fun and interesting to imagine the genetics, parenting styles and family dynamics of different characters.

I have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (a form of high-functioning autism), OCD, anxiety disorder and depression. I am on several medications for the latter three, all of which have worked miraculously well and have greatly improved my quality of life. My autism has caused me to be socially inept and unable to work a job or live on my own. I cannot drive either, so I am often stuck at home for days upon days. I very seldom get bored though, because I immerse myself as deeply as I can in my fantasy world.

I access my fantasy world by listening to music on my iPod and running around in circles out in the park that's literally right outside my backyard. I have been made fun of by people for this, but it doesn't bother me very much. When I am in my fantasy world, I am completely oblivious and almost literally blind to everything that is going on in the real world. Therefore, I am not allowed to run in the park unless one of my family members is home to watch over me from the kitchen window. If  no one is home with me, if the weather is bad or if it is the middle of the night, I listen to my iPod and pace around my room while walking on tip-toes.

I become very upset and angry if I am interrupted while in my fantasy world. There are some days when I wish everyone would just go away and leave me alone so that I can have hours and hours of uninterrupted daydreaming time.

My urge to daydream becomes overpowering when I watch one of the movies which contain characters who reside in my fantasy world. Many times I can't finish the movie in one sitting because the urge to daydream becomes so strong that I have to pause the movie so that I can pace and go visit the characters in my fantasy world.