Why do I feel so lost?

[Ellie Hale]

I feel like I'm headed to a very dark and bad place in my life right now because of MD. My MD has gotten so bad recently I feel like I'm not even awake almost like I'm someone else is in my place of my life I even day dream at school. I only do three things, tumblr, day dream and eat for the last 2 weeks I could feel myself slipping away and don't talk to my friends that much because of my day dreaming and I have a new obsession with this boy band and I spend most of my time thinking of them, looking videos up of them online because I love them so much(: but really I need to stop this thing I'm headed into and I almost feel as if I'll go crazy or mad. It's kinda scaring me... I'm not sure if I should resist what I'm being sucked into or if I should embrace it and let what happens happen. I had to get this off my chest it's not like I could go and tell my mom about what's happening or my sister they wouldn't understand and definitely not my friends. I sometimes I would jog around and listen to music while I day dream for hours at a time and today my sister asked me why I dO that and I couldn't say anything and I've never been that embarrassed in my life even though to her it looked like I liked to jog a lot that's when I realized my MD is as worse as t ever has and I need to stop it. But I don't want to... I can't imagine my life with Out it. I just had to get this all off my chest to people who could actually understand and have the same thing going on, sorry for the rambling though

[Marla Singer]

I feel exactly the same, I am 20 and i feel like i have wasted my entire life. My childhood is over and i missed out on everything, it's so embarassing to be this old have never had any kind of relationship with anyone. All of my friends make fun of me and i could never explain to them why. I hate myself for wasting those years. Don't let yourself do the same. I have finally started to address my problem, and reclaim  my life. You should tell your parents, i know it's scary but if their reaction is bad, does it really matter? After all, you live your daydream world most of the time anyway. A few people on here have mentioned medications that have cured their md. The first step to fixing things is terrifying but worth it; I have been trying to stop obsessively and caught in a cycle of md-ing day and night, and then quiting, which would at first make me happy and then i would start to feel depressed and go back to md-ing again. I wrote an email to my dad one day explaining everything, at my really depressed points i would consider sending it, and one day i finally sent it. I am so, so glad that i did, now i have hope that i am going to get better, i just wish more than ever i had done this when i was younger.

[Teagan Heart]

I feel your pain. It's hard to deal with, and you know that you are facing a struggle when you do actual research about the subject that you are daydreaming about. I do the same thing, but we can fight this for sure.

[Andrea]

Hey, 

I totally can relate to having those huge MD binges where I spend days or even weeks doing nothing but escaping reality--either I was daydreaming, watching a movie, or reading a book to get lost in. But you need to know that this daydream world is not a place you can stay in. 

There's old saying that says you can't have your feet in two boats at once. Either you choose dream world over reality or you find a way to snap out of it and stay here in real life where you need to be. I know the MD might be something you have for the rest of your life, but real life can be better than your daydreams and it's worth fighting for. Our real lives may not be as extraordinary or as crazy as our daydreams, but that doesn't mean it will suck! 

Hope this helps and I'm glad you shared :)

[Jules]

You're certainly not on your own Ellie. I'm sorry you're struggling right now. Sometimes it is good to talk to at least one person you trust about these things. You may be surprised at how many people do understand and do struggle with the same thing. Thanks for sharing with us. Take care, Ellie. Hope you're feeling better soon.

[Aine]

Hi Ellie,

I understand what you are going through believe me, I'm almost 52 and MD has been a part of my life since I was around 5.  I didn't know others existed until about a few months ago when I Googled daydreaming obsessions etc. You will be OK, it is scary and it can really take over at time, but try to distract yourself out of it once in a while. I have an obsession with someone too and there are times when I do feel like I'm barking mad, but then I realize that this is part of who I am. I can't imagine life without it either and I've decided to try to let it work for me.  It was only a couple of months ago, when I came on here and someone said to me that this was in fact a gift. When I thought of it that way, I had to rethink everything. After so many decades believe me, it's hard to change your thinking, so I just decided to go with it. Set a timer or alarm if you have to, there are ways to control it.  

I wrote a poem about it called Becoming a Gift, you can see it on here.  Yes there are days when I feel cursed, but then I think about how I can use this to my advantage. So I try to be as positive as I can. Feel free to friend and message me anytime. All the best, always