What's the endgame with therapy?

[Zoe]

I apologize in advance for my poor spelling and grammar -  I wrote this pretty hurriedly.

My last post was about how I wanted to get help, well I did. My mom took me to my GP, and apparently just from looking at me she could tell how despondent I was - so she referred me to a psychologist and I've had two sessions so far - one last monday and one this monday. 

As some of you may know, I originally wanted to get either some sort of general neuro evaluation or specifically an ADD test, as I strongly feel this will be worthwhile. At my first therapy session my mom filled out a form, and then it was just me and the psychologist and she asked me a bunch of different questions about my life, relationships etc. and just generally who I am. The topic of my excessive daydreaming came up pretty organically, and she didn't seem surprised at all. This time was more or less the same, her asking me questions etc. But what I'm wondering is, is this how it will be all the time? Should I ask her directly that I want an evaluation? What is the goal of therapy, a diagnosis? (Based on your experiences)

What I mean is, if the purpose of therapy sessions is just to talk to someone... that really isn't doing much for me and she hasn't suggested anything I do to help me cope. I leave the sessions feeling the same, if not worse because I'm leaving just to plunge back into my hopeless world.

I know it's still early as I have only had two sessions, but I am impatient.And  I honestly feel like I have reason to be. everyday is a struggle, I honestly don't feel well enough to be going to school or doing anything - I honestly haven't been doing anything these past few months - everything is slipping away from me. I have been scraping by, and I don't know how much longer I will be able to. I feel like I'm just waiting till the day I just can't take it anymore

[Ivy White]

Hey Zoe, at this point I think the psychologist is just getting to know you and to evaluate the root of your problem. MDD is a symptom of some underlying issue, maybe he or she is still trying to "dig" into you to see what could be the root that made MDD bloom. I'd give it at laest 5-6 visits before you can start to really map out your psyche, you need to get to know each other and see if you trust her.

Do you know what kind of therapy she gives? Cognitive behaviour therapy, psychoanalysis or something else? What you can expect from your sessions will vary a lot depending on what type of therapy she practices. 

I've been in and out of therapy and different patient-regimens for more or less 10 years now, I've tried lots of things. In the end, therapy is mostly you, doing some work on yourself and having someone to give you ideas or to hold you accountable. I'm bad at this so I tend to bail and run at some point hence me being stuck with issues 10+ years of on/off treatment. Imho a good therapist knows how to strike the balance between motivating you, telling you when you're too hard on yourself and calling you out on your bullshit if needed. 

Do not hesitate to tell your psychologist what you want out of sessions. If she needs to start helping you with coping asap, tell him/her.

As far as coping goes, I am doing my best with a regimen of meditation and physical activity. You might raise an eyebrow thinking that meditation is just new age stuff but it's actually pretty helpful for me. 

Another thing that has come out (look at the thread on the forum by Eretaia) is that anger is a great catalyst for change. Maybe it's time to get pissed at yourself, to try to feel angry instead of sad and helpless. Feel free to pm me if you want to talk some more.