Maladaptive Daydreaming: where wild minds come to rest
I didn't receive the type of validation and attention that children should receive. I don't think many of us did. It caused me in my teens and early 20s to struggle for an acceptance and validation that cannot be found outside of one's parents. I think it's an issue many people struggle with, whether or not they have daydreams.
What makes it interesting enough for me to post about it though is how these issues are affecting my daydreams. My assistant manager at my job is, in short, the greatest person I have at my job. I love my whole team and department, and I would go to bat for any of them. But if he gets promoted to department manager at another store, I'm transferring. He has your back through everything. He'll help you when you need it the most, makes sure you understand your position, re-trains you when necessary, asks you questions, takes an interest in your life, and just generally is an awesome person and manager.
That's all good and well, but I take any hint of emotional connection like that, and I run with it. Thus, daydreaming content is born. It is my fiance's theory that my manager is standing in the gap for what I always wished for consistently in my father--validation of my emotions and feelings, attention, acknowledgement of what I do and say, bonding with me. What's worse, I did used to have that with my father, but it wasn't reliable. The stranger part of all this, and I must preface this with a trigger warning/general warning, but my daydreaming content about the manager is sexual. I don't know how he could both fulfill an emotional need of mine that stands in the place of my own father AND also become someone I'm sexually attracted to, but it kind of concerns me. I've had sexual daydreams about other people in authority positions over me before, but I never connected the whole father/emotional validation part. A little creepy, and baffling.
Oh, and real funny today: I accidentally called him dad today, and we had a good laugh about that. He's not even old enough to be my father.