ugliness

[mary g]

what do you do if you are ugly?my mom makes fun of me every single day. shes really pretty you see and she keeps telling me that im really ugly. im so fed up of hearing that.i look at myself in the mirror and wince.this is so not how i want to look.i tried to make myself look better.but no hope.some people make fun of me.

how do you accept the way you are when your own mother  doesnt?

we live in a looks oriented world where everyday we are bombarded with images of beautiful girls.where people like me are made to feel inferior in every way. my mother told me once that it is because of my dirty and evil mind that my face is ugly.that hurt me very much because i know im not a bad person ive never wished bad for anyone.

my mom hurts me a lot she says im too ugly and that its clear as daylight that i dont have a boyfriend.

she picks out each and every feature of my body and face and criticises me.like as if its my fault!

how do i accept the way i look?how do i stay strong and unaffected when my mother and other girls make fun of me?

 

 

 

[Cristiano]

Oh, how can a mother say that to her daughter? obviously she has serious problems. I also live in a looks oriented world, but the main problem is that your mother and the other people in your around are making you feel insecure and in this case even the prettiest person in the world would  have those problems. I think that at first you need to become more self confident. I do not know about your culture, but most of the times that a person makes fun of you it gets worse if you show that you care about it. So I think you need to show that those insults do not affect you. If someone says something bad try to not be angry, try to laugh and also try to make fun of the person who insults you, not in a very negative way though, no one is perfect, so we always have something to say about other people. In addition to that, it is always good to stay near people that likes and cares about you, then it helpls to go out with friends. Most of the times we lock ourselves in our home (I also do that) but meetting new people and places is very good for our mental health and it makes smaller the impact of a criticism at home.

[Sandra]

My mom and aunts have extremely low self esteem so of course it has trickled down to my siblings, cousins, and myself. And I'm sure they got it from my grandma and she got it from whomever. We can break this cycle. I know it's really hard. The most loving, comfortable place should be inside the protection of your mothers' love. I am sorry you don't have that. But it has nothing to do with your worth or beauty. It is a great idea to give yourself affirming statements whenever you need to.. Day, night, whenever you need them. We have to learn to love and believe in us so others will love and believe in us.

[Leda]

do you like sports or dancing? doing any of these activities help a lot. not only it will help you shape your body, help with your body posture and confidence, help you connect to people and keep your mind busy so you do not have to worry much about things that do not worth it eg. what people think about you!
it has helped me a lot as a child and a teenager and it is helping me more now.

[mary g]

thanks for the tip blanca!ill try it out and see if it works

[Blanca Margatroid]

I know it's hard. I'm struggling with it myself. I can tell you about a trick my therapist told me though. It may seem stupid but it helps.
He told me to look in the mirror before going to school/work for a couple of minutes, and say to myself: "i'm beatiful. I am worth a lot". I know it sounds stupid but if you put in it your all it really helps. There is one day when you realize it's true.

[mary g]

thanks a lot for the support guys!its true my mom is insecure but i feel that at this age even i am insecure.i

its easy to say"be confident",but how exactly do i be confident?its difficult for me....

[Blanca Margatroid]

Clearly your mother is extremelly insecure. If she didn't feel bad about herself she wouldn't need to humilliate you. If she has to demean someone to give meaning to her life, she's got the problem, not you.

Looks are so subjective. Confidence is what really matters. In my college, the "object of desire" was a girl with an average face; but she was so confident all the boys fell for her. You just have to love yourself.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Wow, that's really horrible.  That's completely mean and abusive of her.  The fact that she says you're ugly doesn't mean you are.  She's probably brain-washed you into thinking you are, which has made you feel insecure, so you have trouble connecting with boys.  I'm sure it has little or nothing to do with your looks.