struggling (unreality tw)

[littleschrodinger'scat]

I haven't been on here in a long time and I feel like things have kind of gotten worse for me

When I don't daydream or when I think about too many 'real life' things, I get anxious and irritable. I feel disconnected from myself/the world. I don't feel like any of this is actually happening and I don't know if I believe that I exist/the world exists

I always feel disconnected/depersonalized but if I don't daydream, it's so much worse. Daydreams are simultaneously the only good part about my life and the thing that is preventing me from having a good life. My feelings about this are all very conflicting and it's frustrating. I wish I could say more about this but that would mean talking in depth about my psychosis and I can't do that.

Things are just v complicated right now and I can't get better because I mostly/partially don't want to get better so I don't tell anybody what's actually wrong and this is a rambling mess of a post

[Kade Scoular]

I'm the exact same position, I have terrible depersonalization and some days I feel like I'm not even here. But I'm going to keep fighting and so should you, open yourself to new situations and try meeting new people and you will find improvement.