Living the Dream

[escarei]

Maladaptive daydreaming is a condition where you’re sitting on a beach, watching the waves, imagining what is under the water’s surface. The world behind you is a desert, and even if it’s not, you can not turn around to look at it because the water is so so pretty. You know you can not breathe underwater, you know you can not go there, because in the moment you leave the land completely you will drown and die, but still… 

You will sit there forever, and it will destroy you, because you are so close and you want it so much. The ocean will never go away, it will always be there like a drug, always poisoning you without even tasting it. And you just know it’s full of wonders, it must be… and meanwhile… reality will walk away behind your back. 

My dreams are like this, a boundless sea, and I will always going to be drawn to them. There is no such thing as drying out an entire ocean, and well... without it, my world would be unbalanced. Reality too.

That's why I thought... I can't make it disappear, and I don't want to, but maybe I shouldn't keep it all to myself. What if other people want to see it too? Yeah... it is wonderful after all... so I managed to turn around, and walk away, if only to tell people about it. It is still everything for me, it is still the only thing I can think about most of the time, but at least now I have another purpose. To share, to tell, to show others something beautiful. 

That's why I want to become a writer. To invite others to the beach, so we could all walk on reality with a beautiful sight to the dreams. 

[escarei]

 agent 53 - Thank you! Sometimes I think that's the only thing what keeps me "sane". : )

Morella Damascena - I know what you mean with the unrealistic daydreams. My DDs usually chaotic and repetitive too, it's just... I'm not really writing my daydreams down, I use them as inspiration instead. I try to convert my useless scenes and ideas something whole and enjoyable for others. I really can not remember a time when I lived without my daydream world, and it kind of formed my personality, my way of thinking, even the structure of my thinking. I'm a very creative and philosophical person, and since I was young I tried to fit this imaginary world into my real world, so I formed theories about parallel dimensions, God, dreams and reality. and Merlin knows what...

The best part was though... when I met someone, who listened to me the first time. My best friend, now my writing partner... and She was fascinated with the idea of other worlds and my world and characters, so we started to play, and She started to make her own world just for fun- She's not a maladaptive daydreamer.  I believe She become an anchor to me. This of course doesn't help with my other problems, but when I try to figure something out for our book, and I do that consciously, it helps. I know writing is hard work, but it is a work I enjoy. I wish I could really do that in my whole time, instead of studying something else for the hope of a job and some really needed money... Maybe one day.

Our world is full of wonders after all. Both of it. Anything can happen! 

[Morella Damascena]

Your analogy has really hit me, both with its truthfulness and with its beauty. I can't share my writing with the world for personal reasons, but here's what I've found: whenever I try to write something, I am struck by how horribly unrealistic my daydreams are, and I can't write them.

[escarei]

Thank you, it means a lot! 

I really respect people who are capable of stopping their MD, they must be very stong... I can't even think about that, even thought it causes me problems in my life too. I think writing is a way to actually do something useful while having MD, it's a way of coping I guess. 

[Nathaly]

You should become a writer because your writing style is very good! Such a good way to describe MDD...