Inability to make friends.

[littleschrodinger'scat]

No matter how much I talk with someone or am around someone, it feels like there is some sort of invisible wall between us. It feels like I am far away and only vaguely aware. I can’t make friends. I can’t feel what I want to feel for another person. I just have a disconnect with everyone I interact with; whether they be in real life or on the internet. I feel bad because I want to feel something for someone else but I can’t. I want those glorious friendships that everyone else seems to make so easily. I don’t care about romance or sex, I just want a friend that I can feel like I am physically there with. 

When someone talks to me I just smile and nod. I never know how to respond to the things people say to me. I have pretty much mastered small talk (I’m still probably awkward about it), but I can never seem to get farther than that. I just feel so far away when I talk to others. It’s like in a dream, how things are blurry and disorientated but you don’t realize (while you are dreaming). Things in the dream would be very fantastic if they happened in reality, but during the dream they feel ordinary - boring even. When you wake up in the morning you realize how disconnected everything felt. I hate that I can’t connect with anyone. I want to be friends with someone who makes me genuinely happy. I’ve had friends before. I’ve smiled and I’ve laughed, but it has never felt right. I just feel that disconnect. I seem to get nothing out of socializing, yet I always want to have a connection to someone real (as in not an imaginary friend).

[LJ]

I can relate too.......  It is just too hard sometimes.  It feels like I don't quite 'FIT IN" with any particular group.  Church, work, with family: I am always on the outside looking in.  Funny but, in my dding world I am the Tops!  No hangups what so ever there.

I have friends, I just don't get what I need from them.  Family either.....  I feel like I will never be accepted.  There always seems to be that awkward silence after talking with them, like what I just said has some how creeped them out, or was too deep in some way. 

[Marla Singer]

I can relate to this so well. You should go to doctors about your md, i went the other day and i was so happy to see that doctor took my problem seriously and is arranging for me to see a psychiatrist. MD is a real problem,  it seems like a lot of people on here are trying to convince themselves that it isn't, but it really is. I managed to stop for a couple of months and all these problems disappeared, I had social skills and started to bond with people. But  now i'm md-ing almost non stop and i feel lonely and empty as ever.  Don't let md ruin your life, go to a doctor

[Rachel]

I have the exact same problem. I simply cannot make friends. Sadly, I have no helpful advice for you.

[taffle]

I have asperger's and I think that's what keeps me from connecting with other people on a deeper level. Not to mention I was also raised in a dysfunctional family.

[Eretaia]

Ah, I disagree with greyartist. First of all, if you have symptoms of depression, then ability to connect to others is definitely something that can be worked upon and improved. The chances are that you cannot connect to other people because you cannot connect to yourself in the first place. And maybe this inability is additionally fueled by imbalance of neurotransmitters. This is definitely something you can resolve through good psychotherapy. 

99% of time, I feel just like you. I desperately want to feel something for other people but I just can't. I feel numb. I just don't care even though I desperately do want to care from the bottom of my heart. But then again, there are certain moments when I become more sympathetic and come to care about people. Mind you, these moments are extremely rare and short-lived, but they remained me that situation is reversible and that I'm not incapable of feeling.

[greyartist]

I'm afraid is maybe a personality type. Not really anything you can learn. I have felt like that my whole life, I'm 47. I finally gave up on the idea of having a best friend. I just don't seem to be able to bond that way. It does leave you with an emptiness that never goes away. But I think it is just the way we are wired.

[Alvy]

I can relate oh so well. I've only five real people in my life I can call friends however they've pretty much abandoned me. haven't spoken to them in almost a year. So all i seem to do is stay in my box and venture my own world... oh so sad.