In Reality…

[Amanda Lewone]

One of my daydreams involved me dancing at a party with friends. So I would have earphones in and loud music playing and I would switch off the lights in my bedroom and essentially enter into another world. Usually a party or music festival. A lot of the people in this daydream would be people from school or wherever. I would dance away in my room for hours. I would often be the centre of attention for something or the other. 

Anyway, during these years I was never allowed to go to parties or festivals. So my mind was all I had and this was a world I visited once every few weeks. When I think of it now, I just imagine myself in a dark room acting out all these scenarios. If someone saw me, I am certain they would be shocked, 

Fast forward a few years and I was allowed to go out. I had one outgoing friend from childhood who had a party at a club. We are quite different by the way. That is a place I would never host my birthday. But since we were friends, especially in our younger years, I went. It was terrible. I did not dance at all. Not the way I do in my dreams. I mostly sat literally near a corner. Fortunately there was some other girl that came and sat next to me so it wasn't too awkward. When my friend forced me on the dance floor, I copied what everyone else was doing. It was not fun. It was loud, crowded and quite frankly, boring. I just wanted to go home. 

I later had some other opportunities to dance at weddings/parties but every time it was the same experience. I wanted to hide and just come back once the dance floor was closed. The part of the party I could endure was when everyone was seated, chatting. 

I feel like I wasted all those daydreams on those dancing scenarios because in real life I actually do not enjoy a party (with a dance floor) at all. 

[Floris]

Amanda,

a number of things make a huge difference:
-how good (and danceable) you find the music?
-the overall atmosphere. Is it laid back, can you be who you are or does it only feel safe to just copy someone else?
-the mood you are in at that moment (sometimes you may not feel like it but still can get into the groove)?
-if you're tired?
-if you really like the people you are with?
-and yes, reality can never beat imagination, things can be much more dull.

I suspect that you would actualy enjoy a party if those factors are right. 

[Reverie]

I agree with Ivy White - our daydreams are the products of our imagination and even though it's quite powerful and suggestive, it distorts the reality of things. I had a similar situation to the one you mentioned,but with...kissing. I thought that a kiss is something special, but when somehow (I'm still not sure how it happened) the guy whom I liked a lot kissed me, and that was my first kiss, I felt...disappointed. It was so much different from what I imagined. It was more humane, you know, flesh and bone.

On the other hand, it all probably depends on the situation - in our daydreams the moment is always right, everything is perfect, because it conforms to our expectations and life is not that simple. I dance a lot in my daydreams, but I don't enjoy that much in my 'real' life either. However, I recall couple times when it was actually fun - it all depends on your mood and attitude, on the people who surround you, on the music and the atmosphere of the place. I hope you will enjoy dancing and you will feel free to dance in the real life as you do in your daydreams. 

[Ivy White]

Sometimes our minds make things better than they actually are, and the subsequent disappointment is hard to swallow.