That one quality: Focus

[Amanda Lewone]

I identify as an introvert. More recently I started to wonder if I may also have Aspergers. I never used to use that word, but would always describe myself with many of its characteristics. Now I have never been diagnosed, so lets just say that I identify with many of the characteristics.

Except one. FOCUS. Introverts and aspies are often described as having intense focus and incredible attention to detail. Actually, this is often described as a redeeming quality. I recently read this article about this young lady with Aspergers and the author was very amazed by her talents. Like..ye she has almost no friends, struggles with communication etc. - or at least at this point she had learned some scripts to say appropriate stuff to people  - BUT she’s done this and this and this and once stayed up for so many hours completing a puzzle. The same is often true in the introversion articles, ye…they’re kinda quiet, BUT they do all this great stuff which requires deep concentration which extroverts lack. 

I seem to not have this quality. Or maybe I need to develop it. I don’t know. 

Of course on top of that I have this fantasy addiction!!

Has anyone developed focus?

I know I don’t have to be the classic introvert or aspie, but I feel like being focused and passionate about something would improve my life.

[Floris]

Really the most important thing for focus is a calm and quiet mind. Tough for a wild mind ;-). Practice mindfulness or go outside for a stroll, letting go of too many distracting thoughts is important if those are about problems you cannot solve soon anyway.

For focus, there also needs to be a sense of importance in it for you, something you love. It can be writing, programming, making something graphic/visual, music, studying something you want to know everything about...

Fantasy addiction you mention, so day dreaming has your focus in a way. You need a channel for your imagination to flow through, it can be any of the things I mentioned or something else. Maybe look for online courses about cool stuff you could learn like making games, drawing, writing, making computer music, anything. There is plenty of free stuff but for better quality you could check out paid ones like Lynda. It is important to do some difficult decision making first about what really would be the best creativity channel for you. But ultimately just making steps and starting something, anything, is essential and don't expect to have this wonderful hyperfocus/flow all the time it's not going to happen every day.

Sticking with it could get harder for some "wild minds" after a couple of months as you may have gotten a bit more bored with it. It's normal to have less excitement for it and focus will be harder. You will then, even more, have to start the day with a "just do it" mentality, start without thinking or wondering if you feel like doing it. Focus will come.

[Floris]

I would read more about autism and Asperger. Do you have difficulty with empathy, understanding/seeing what other people feel?

Aspergers are autists that can function pretty well because they're smart enough to rely heavily on their memorized systems for everything. They find it hard to read emotions but can see somebody's facial expression and identify it as a type, look it up in their data banks so to speak and then see "oh OK she is sad now".

I do recognize some of the Aspie traits like repetitive actions and can talk monotonously but everybody does that sometimes so this type of symptom listing is not always helpful, really the essence is not having real empathy as far as I know.

I have read a lot about things that I thought I may have and went from Aspie to Highly Sensitive Person to ADD...ADD makes the most sense to me but I've never been diagnosed and probably would not get recognition as one, because so far, my life is not a total disaster (but I feel I was a bit lucky so far).

[Amanda Lewone]

Hi! Thanks for the response. 

Wrt the stress/fear response...when an assignment is due tomorrow, my mind is super focused ! :)

I do get that mind-wondering is natural but perhaps it sometimes needs to be forced to focus, even if it's just for 20 minutes at a time.  

Ye you are right about developing good habits. Right now I am really working on what I do in the first 2 hours of the day. Generally if I start the day well, it makes the rest of the day better!