I can't last a day ...

[Elīna]

I'm going to do it. I just know it. I'm trying to stop, but I know that I won't. I want to fix 2 major problems in my life by imagining that they are ok. I know it won't help, but I just wanna feel good, imagine everything working out smoothly. I don't know how to stop myself. Right now I'm waiting for my phone to charge a littlebit so I could start dancing and DD. I should be learning for my Latin language exam or I might not pass it tomorrow. I need to do my English essay and working tasks. I need to do my report work for theater studies. I need to print out some material. I need to clean my room. I should fix some stuff with my computer. But I just can't start any of that. I made dinner,but I can't eat, I want to dance with my DD for a bit, I want it desperately. I HATE THIS! I have things with I could occupy my mind, but I just won't start them. I stare to my phone screen waiting for it to charge just a little more so I could go to my fantasy world and keep f***ing up my real one. I want to explode, this is such a failure, this is such an addiction!!! :@

[Elīna]

Sadly music isn't just a trigger to go DD. It's also a fuel for life to me, just like to most of the people who don't have MD. I would go insane without it. 

[Amanda Lewone]

Hey. I just joined Wild Minds and yea, I can totally relate to the "waiting for the phone to charge" thing!

Dancing in the bathroom (!) 

Anyway I just deleted the songs on my phone. Maybe just start there, Quit Music!

[Elīna]

Thank you all, it's unbelievable how many support I have gotten here. I have never felt so much patience and understanding. Finally somebody gets me. I can't find the right words to say how thankful I am, finally I don't feel so alone anymore. Even despite the fact that I have failed my latest attempt to quit MD I don't feel like a freak no more.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

Everyone, I've been doing this for 33 years and trying to stop for at least 23 years.  Trust me, getting angry at yourself and stressing yourself out WON'T WORK.  You'll only make it worse.  You have to accept yourself and stop judging yourself.  The more you beat yourself up about it, the worse it'll get.  I accept that this is just how I am.  I find that I only do it less if I'm really stressed or depressed or if I'm really busy.  I know what works and what doesn't work.  Getting angry never works.  Try different things until you find out what works for you.  It took me 2 attempts to get a university degree, but I finally did.  When I was young, I'd get angry with myself for daydreaming, and you know what happened?  I had to drop out.  This time, I accepted that it took me a lot longer to do anything and that I'd always need leniency from professors.  I explained my situation and got the help I needed.  This time, I managed to get my degree.  It can get better, but only when you focus on making your life better and not judging yourself.  

[escarei]

Try to calm down! I think getting stressed about it makes it worse, and well..getting stressed wouldn't help with your studies even without the daydreaming part. 

You are not a failure, stop thinking that. Maybe your exam wouldn't go well, but there are a lot of people who study and still fail. You are not stupid or worthless or anything bad just because you mess up ONE thing...or even two, or three. 

Last week, I could not write one of my papers, I thought I'm doing it wrong and I rather went into my dreamworld where everything was perfect. I sent the paper to my teacher three days later the due date... I thought he's going to throw me out...and then, before he started the class, he called my name..Pff..It's over for me I was sure.. and then, he said, my dissertation was one of the best, and I'm one of the two persons who got the best grade. 

You shouldn't give up! Sometimes life just helps you, and time goes one anyway...even if something turns out for the worst, next time it will go better! Go go go... maybe you could try to tech your daydream characters to latin in a romantic setting :D, that way you can learn and dream at the same time :). 

[Elīna]

Of course I did it ... and I can't seem to stop ... I will regret this SO badly ;(