I haven't posted anything on this site for over a year but do still visit regularly. I have good days and bad days but am today is definitely a bad day. I cannot stop thinking about this condition that I have and how much it has hindered most aspects of my life. I feel like I'm losing my grip on reality and have no one to talk to. I have a 3 year old daughter and often think she would be better off living with her father as I'm constantly stuck in my daydream world and don't think I'm being the best mother I could be! I don't know what to do!

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Comment by Sandra on January 12, 2014 at 4:59pm
Our parents weren't perfect either. Get help and be with your baby
Comment by Sandra on January 12, 2014 at 4:58pm
I just spoke to my little girl on the phone. She has been visiting her grandma for two months. I let her stay this long partly because of our condition. The first little while I was ok. Every time I have spoken to her in the past 2 weeks, both of us have gotten sadder and sadder. You need your baby just as much as she needs U
Comment by Queen Dopamine on January 7, 2014 at 1:05pm

Is there an interest or passion you have that you've never fully explored because you thought it might take too much time/be too hard/you wouldn't be good at it? Maybe you could start involving yourself in more activities? I know that sounds really vague and obvious, but if you start getting more time to yourself because someone has your daughter more often, you could pursue some new hobbies.

For instance, I started recording silly videos of myself dancing (using just the webcam on my laptop). Then I learned how to use Windows Live Movie Maker and edited it together to look like a music video. It was really fun and it was something I never thought I could do. I also recently took up coloring again. I used to hate it when I was younger, but recently found out that it's really enjoyable. Writing was always a big thing for me, so I poured a lot of time and energy into learning how to get better at it and actually writing about things I wanted to. 

Comment by Yaz on January 7, 2014 at 12:57pm
I do daydream a little less when I'm with my daughter but it doesn't stop completely. I do still interact with her but find being a parent overwhelming and stressful alot of the time. She does see her father but not as often now that he has yet another new girlfriend. I tend not to interact with friends as much as I would like to as when I'm with them I continue to daydream and have been seen making off facial expressions and talking to myself ' my characters.' I agree, when I'm unhappy I daydream more but I'm not sure how to go about changing my life for the better so that I'm not inclined to daydream as much. That's something I really need to figure out! @ Newyorkdancer I've always been interested in learning to meditate but how does it work? @ Samantha, writing a list of the positive things is a really good idea! Has your daughter ever picked up on your daydreaming? Thankyou all for responding and for your advice it had made me feel better and has given me alot to think about. Xo
Comment by Sandra on January 5, 2014 at 9:52pm
I feel the exact same way. My baby has spent the holidays with her dad's mom because I felt like I was on the verge of freaking out. Because of work, personal, because I felt like I was a terrible parent because I couldn't devote the time to her that she deserved. I felt like she deserved better than what I was giving her. I think my mom has the same issues, just way more extreme than me. I don't want my little girl to inherit this from me
Comment by New York dancer on January 3, 2014 at 11:13am

The solution to your trouble right now is written in your confession. You stated you "have no one to talk to" and that's the first step of getting out of the rut your in. You need to talk to a living being in order to pull you out of your head. Being alone left to your own device you will only fall deeper into the daydreams because the more upset we get the more interesting the dreams become. Addiction loop hole going round and round. Make a strong effort to call someone or visit them. Not just anyone but someone that can make you laugh and really pull your attention for a while. Try not to blame so much the condition because in the center of your core you are still in control and you have to believe that above all else.  Unhappiness breeds more fantasy, there is a connection. Try to see your fantasy world as a place of puppets and you are the puppeteer. Perhaps there is a hidden part of you which is unhappy with the parental role you have to take alone. You fantasy's can be masking that part of you that is perhaps in denial of it. Not saying this is your situation, but perhaps its something you could explore. In the meantime find activities that will engage you and encourage you to stay present in the world. Try yoga or meditation which focuses on clearly the mind of all things. I believe our fantasy world come in two forms: one that creates art when happy and the other which engulfs us during sad times. Hope this helps you think a bit on the bright side. And remember you are not alone.

Comment by Queen Dopamine on January 3, 2014 at 7:00am

Daydreaming is like an addiction. I feel exactly the way you do in many ways. I have a 3-year-old also, and thankfully, he all but officially lives with my dad. Oddly though, I daydream less when he's with me because I can't focus on my fantasies entirely. He keeps me busy and sane. But then there would be moments where I just need someone else to take him for awhile so I could zone out and de-stress in DD land (or actually get some things done haha).

Obviously, our situations aren't the exact same, especially since my son doesn't live with me full-time anymore. I think it takes great courage though to admit that the daydreams are affecting you. But are you still interacting with your daughter and taking care of her? If so, you're doing a great job. The fact that you even feel guilty about dayreaming shows that you do care. You can't be holding their hand every second of the day. So don't feel bad if you aren't constantly playing with her. :) There were times I would let Alex play while I slept on the couch nearby! If nothing else, just be encouraged that you're still giving her a good life. If you do truly feel you're neglecting her or that she's not connecting you, then maybe you should talk to her dad about a different parenting plan arrangement. 

As far as your grip on reality though, that's a hard one to address. If it's directly affecting your ability to be a parent, then it's definitely more serious. But if it's merely making you feel guilty and lonely, then I wouldn't say it requires her living with her dad. But that's your call! Just giving my thoughts to help you sort things out, hopefully. :)

Nice to meet you, Yaz!

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