I am 22 years old and for as long as I can remember I've day dreamed excessively. My day dreaming worsened when my mum passed away due to alcoholism when I was 6. Since I was young I've had an alter ego that I made up. She has grown older as I have and her background story has changed frequently in accordance to things similar to what I've been through. I could write a book about her life! She is beautiful, rich, a talented musician and singer and doesn't take shit from anyone unlike me! I am day dreaming constantly even if there are people around. I also tend to mouth conversations and pull facial expressions! The scenarios varie daily but always involve famous rock musicians and a rapper or two, all of whom are friends with my alter , also friends I wish I was closer to. For years I have thought I was alone, schizophrenic and insane! I have no self confidence and rarely leave the house. I am only comfortable in social situations when drunk! I am aware that mdd is affecting my life but don't think it's severe and don't wish to stop. I have friends but rarely see them. I.could go on but wouldn't want to bore you. Would be nice to hear of other peoples experiences with this. I apologise for poor grammar using touchscreen phone.

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Comment by greyartist on September 4, 2012 at 5:42am

welcome. Sound like you are an introvert, most MDD suffers are. Introverts are not comfortable in social situations. It is always a challenger for us leave the house and be around people. I don't encourage you to be drunk in public because being drunk turns off your filter, you say things you may not want to tell. I have read where people have talked about their DDs while drinking then being very embrassed after when the people they were with brought it up. But it may not bother you if people know, it would be terrible for me to "slip up" and say something.

You say you don't wish to stop. If you can find a balance in your life with it then there is no reason to stop. For some of us it is more like we can't stop. For me it is like an alcoholic with a liquor IV in my arm.

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