Daydreaming, living, and "happiness?"

Now, as a result of daydreaming actual people, or perhaps just from looking out at the "real world" once in a while, I feel as if I miss or am missing out on parts of life. I've kept myself in a box (which contains myself, my computer, and my DDs) and whenever I look out of it, I realize that things happen around me. I'm not sure if I can handle change, or that I have had daydreams so consistent that I dislike real change, or that I dislike real progression of time. I see other people and their lives that appear to be carefree, going through different things, etc. I probably won't regret missing out on a lot in high school because that is just a dumb time and not "real real life" to me. I guess that I am saying that I want to do things for myself, and not things that I just make up in my head.

However, I always feel as if it won't be anything. I feel as if nothing is ever great as it can be imagined. I feel as if everything will just feel mediocre and out of place. I feel as if I am going to have bad feelings on me in whatever I do. Let's not get started on the fact that I can't picture it - that I feel as if I am not good enough for any of this therefore I won't experience it.

What is the point of wanting to experience it? Why do people think that being happy is how we naturally are? Maybe I don't want to be happy exactly, but I want to feel as if I'm not wasting my time? Real people and not ones in my head. Again, maybe it's because the people ARE better in my head....just maybe...

I always thought that I should see a therapist but I never thought that there was anything wrong with me and that my life is just supposed to go this way because I'm not good as other people. I'd have to wait because I am not sure how to tell my parents that I would like to see one, and I thin it would be easier if I just found one when I become 18 or talk to a counselor at school. If I do see one, I am not sure if I will bring up the DDing right away. Maybe after I talk about everything else for a bit, I'll mention the DDing. But I don't know.

Either way, I'm not sure what I'm doing.

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Comment by Taylor on July 12, 2013 at 8:08pm

I agree, Tinkerbell. It has taken up too much of my life and whenever I try to look in the "real world," I get so overwhelmed that I"m not doing anything right. I find it fun, and I don't think there is any inherent wrong or harm to it, but I personally just think that I should be filling my life with tangible things instead, but I feel like I can never accomplish it.

Comment by Tinkerbell on June 30, 2013 at 3:26pm

I think that although MD is pleasurable that sometimes it can take over too much of your life.  Maybe when you are 18 you should see someone about it but beweare.  It's not a fully recognised term yet and as a result, you may be misdiagnosed with having something you do  not. 


For me MD seems much more pleasurable then things going on around me or things in the world in fact.  There is a huge part of me which doesn't want to give it up because it's euphoric and makes me so happy but when I think of all of the time I waste, just day dreaming.  It worried me and i realise that I am relying on it to much to fix something (my own happiness) which I should be fixing in the real world.

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