Busted....?

[Lori]

I had a weird experience in my cycling exercise class tonight. The instructor seemed to say something like "Let's not talk to ourselves" (?) The music was on pretty loud but I swear that's what she said. She then went on about focusing on our form and what we're doing. I was surprised and scared and I looked right at her, but she wasn't looking at me and neither was anyone in the class so that's good! But it made me very uncomfortable since that's a bad habit I'm REALLY embarrassed about. I'm sure if she did say that it was directed at me.

I drift a bit in some of those classes where repetitive actions are required over a long period of time. Its dark in the class and it's easy to slip into my "own little world" as they say.  I didn't think I was doing it at that time even though I did start to daydream. It scared me a lot because I thought I was more aware of doing it.

How embarrassing. I cried later in the ladies room.  But now I'm being to think that if I had guts I could have gone over to her after class and in a totally non-threatening, friendly way asked if she said that, and then added that I have a bad habit of muttering when I'm not paying attention (bored actually). It would have brought the whole thing down to a manageable level to just confront it head on and be totally normal about it. But as usual I was too caught up in nearly having a panic attack (while out of breath!)

In a way I guess it's good that she said that. I woke me up. And I'm trying to be more in control, but it hurt like hell. :-(

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  I always daydream if I'm doing anything even remotely monotonous.  Unfortunately when I'm walking around, my characters always say something funny, too.  I always end up stifling a snicker.  I was doing that all the way home from the store tonight.  Ugh.  So irritating.  Then people look at me like I'm all dumb and happy............and I'm about the most uptight, snarky person there is.  I'm really not all dumb and silly.  Anyway, what can you do?  Now that I live openly, I flaunt everything, "weird" or not.  It's been a fun experiment.  

In fact, today I was finishing up a journal for this class I'm taking.  The prompt was to write a few sentences about our role models who inspired us.  I can't believe I had the guts, but I said that since I have Maladaptive Daydreaming, most of my role models are characters I made up in my head.  Yep, I said it.  I said that I could lie about it, but why do so when the truth is so weird and interesting?  I wrote sentences about both real people and fictional people.  She can think what she wants.  It'll probably confuse the hell out of her.  The more I do it, the more fun it is.  What's the worst that can happen, people think I'm weird?  They already think I'm weird!  I hate to break it to you, but whatever we're worried about happening, chances are something worse is already happening and it'll only get better when we fess up.  This isn't meant to scare you.  Think about it.  

Before: I was always staring off into space, snickering, making weird faces, muttering, and people were looking at me weird.

Now: I tell everyone I have this condition that makes me extra creative, and I can't stop daydreaming.  When they catch me, as they always do, I just say "Excuse me, I was just daydreaming. What were you saying?"  I can write a decent story in just a couple of days.  I can tell everyone that I'm part of a big movement that has a good chance of changing the psychological community.  I can say that I reach people and help them.  I don't care about all the little BS conversations that people have because I have something much more intellectual and interesting going on in my head.  The list goes on.  And them?  What have other people got to brag about, that they can talk at parties and not look weird?  Oh, what a mighty accomplishment.  Being normal sounds so great..............NOT.  

Anyway, so maybe she was talking about you, and maybe you were daydreaming and misheard her.  Maybe she was talking about the guy who was talking to himself while texting in the back.  Who knows?  If you do decide to confront her, I beg of you one thing: Please do NOT approach it like it's a sad, shameful confession.  Approach it like you're doing something better and her snooty butt can be quiet if she doesn't like it.  I'm not trying to sound mean.  It sometimes takes a little snarky to fight our inner shame and the weird looks of the person we're talking to.  You can say "Btw, I was daydreaming the other day, and I wasn't sure if you said something about people talking to themselves.  I do that on occasion when I daydream.  I have this condition which makes me addicted to creativity.  I really can't stand being bored for one second, or I start puzzling things out in my head.  If I start to do it, and it bothers you, feel free to just tap me on the shoulder.  Otherwise, I'll just assume it's ok and keep doing it."  If she hints for one second that this is a bad thing, or asks you if you're being treated at all.........then turn on the snark and ask her if she's being treated for being boring.  Tell her people with this condition are just too smart to sit around without exercising their brains.