Checking out

[Lori]

Does anyone "check out" during a conversation or during a meeting? Or just on their own?  I realized that I do that, but I thought it was "normal"  I  don't know what it looks like when I do it. I feel like I'm falling into a kind of daze for a few seconds. It happens when I'm tired and bored, or my blood sugar is probably low (I don't have diabetes but I diet). I just stare into space and I feel like I don't want to stop staring but I can snap out of it. I know what's generally happening around me. It's often during a group situation where everyone else is engaged and talking.

"Checking out" generally feels good and I felt like no one was noticing. But my nasty boss made a veiled reference to me doing this a few times. She said her boss was having "seizures" because she was not listening to her and had checked out, but it was undoubtedly a reference to me as well since she cocked her head in my direction when she said it! Nothing like diplomacy when you're down, right? :-)

I was really tired this week and I checked out for a few seconds during a long, boring meeting but I tried to get back on track. It was tough... Does any one else do this or see others doing it?

Thanks.

[Lori]

Thanks everyone. It's always good to hear that you're not alone.

[Cordellia Amethyste Rose]

You are definitely not alone.  In fact, I do it so much that I've started telling people that I am incapable of paying attention for any amount of time.  It's true.  I don't even pretend not to.  I'm not a very social person, so this usually applies to classes or brief encounters like in elevators.  I don't know what I would do if I were working.  I frequently let professors know that I cannot pay attention or focus in class, at home, or anywhere.  I use any and all ways to get information, part sitting in class & absorbing whatever fraction of I absorb, as well as reading (and not focusing on that much), recopying everything, etc.  I do whatever I have to.  They're really not in a position to approve or not.  It's not up to them how my brain functions.  They can't just tell me not to or be a judge of whether or not it's okay to be how I am.  

Also, before you start thinking you're weird, you know there was a study done that said people spend about 30% of their time daydreaming?  You might try and find that study and casually bring it up next time somebody makes a snide remark.  I'm not sure how comfortable you feel outing yourself, but nothing about us is anything to be ashamed of.  Whatever you do, don't approach it like you're confessing anything as that implies that it's shameful.  It's not.  NORMAL people spend about 30% of their time daydreaming, and we do it more.  Tell them, off-hand and in a conversational tone this fact and mention that there are some people who do it even more.  Those people tend to be extra intelligent and creative as we have to sorta live dual lives.  I would refrain from mentioning any negative side effects and, since this is your employer, just talk up the good points.  Save the struggles for when they would suit you best, like in school.  If they ask if there's a treatment, tell them it's not a sickness and doesn't require one.  Your brain just functions differently.  

If your job performance is suffering, then you need to address that either way.  If it's not, then use it to make you sound even better.  You can even brag that you're part of a big movement to get recognition and respect for people who think like this.  You can mention that there's a big study being done and there are over 1,000 people talking about it online.  You can brag about the Scientific American Mind article & say that you're a member of a site mentioned in it.  That's just what I would do.  I'd make myself out to be a genius super-hero who's saving the world & they should be honored to be in my presence.  I've never actually tried this in a work setting, so I can't say for sure if it would work, but I live pretty openly.  I'll bet I would fight to be treated with respect just as much in a job setting as I do elsewhere.  That's the thing about this condition.  People treat you worse when they don't understand.  You're not just someone who stares off into space.  You're an intelligent, creative person who always needs interesting stimuli.