Oh imagination, imagination

You have been there so much for me

You make me forget reality

You make me feel at peace

You make me think I am well

Soon before I know, u took over

I see myself slipping away

I see my shadow sitting going no where

I see what I could become, but not be

I thought I hated you

For once I did

I hated you so much

I wanted to eradicate you

Gosh, how I…

How many times did I stop myself? How many times did I tell myself this isn’t real? Again and again I tell myself this isn’t real—all in your head.Parting with my imagination was like an addiction. I didn’t want to come out, but I know I couldn’t stay here.

I know they weren’t all real, but I wanted to live the illusion. I feel a dull fake euphoria in this imagination and every time I know it was all faked. It was so easy and so safe—yet so lonely. And so that is why I…

Lost in the maze of my own mind

I couldn’t grasp that all wasn’t real

It was so sweet that I didn’t want to leave

I didn’t want the truth to surface

I want to drown

Drown in this false reality of mine

The shadows dance to my story

I chased the shadows

From walls to walls in the maze

All was sweet, so sweet

I didn’t want to leave

I reached for the shadows

only to find the solid walls

Cold…

Some night I’ll be in bed daydreaming. I thought of her pain. I thought of her endurances, her strengths, and her past. I couldn’t quite imagine her future though. The bed was the prefect spot to imagine being love, to imagine his embrace. I imagined fitting into the fold of his arms. I breathe in air and I imagined everything clearing away. I imagined peace in his arms. Then, I remembered I have to go to sleep. I looked into the ceiling and made it known to myself---he will never exist in…

I imagined my character finding love. I saw her went through hardships. I imagined her meeting him. I imagined her getting pregnant. I imagined two beautiful fraternal twin--a girl and a boy. I could feel the love for these two children. They were beautiful with the color of their father's eyes and hairs.

What I couldn't imagine was love. I couldn't imagined how intense their love is or how it develop. I couldn't bring this man to life. I can't truly feel him.

This…

I daydream excessive because of life. It became hard and I need a release. When there are too much to bear and too much to feel I turn them into stories in my head so that the burden may be lighter.

I am not like some people that say they feel alone in a group of friends, but I understand their feeling. I can sympathy with them—the feeling of being an outsider in group where people know each other. I can understand how my MD developed. I was lonely and hurt. I was afraid and…

What is MDD to me?

It is an outlet to my stress and my emotion. When I am angry, I create s scene similar to my life but the character is more in control. When I am sad, I imagine my character being sad and other characters within my story knowing it because in reality when I am sad no body knows it. MDD portray what I want and wish happen. It is the life I didn’t have, the things I want and the people I wish were around me.

I found it very useful because as a…

Hi, I go by the name Mai. Like many others, I did not know what I was dealing with is maladaptive daydreaming for a long time.

It started when I was in elementary school. I was a very quiet kid and had few friends. I always felt left out. Even friend weren't really that much of friends. We were just like a group of kids hanging around each other. Even as a quiet child, I craved attention from other children. I started to lie, making up simple stories in my head that I would tell to…