Hi there,

I am trying to quit MD. Go all the way this time. On my own 5 days in, and I am not doing it right. 

I know that I have been skirting around any real deprivation. I have been going soft on myself, by allowing myself to watch DD-related stuff on Youtube. This is, as you might imagine, a waste of time. When I waste time like this, I know that I am wasting away. I can't look at myself in the mirror for more than 5 seconds without reeling…

Note: Long-winded post ahead. Peruse at your own risk. :P 

So I have to get this out. 

I am on Day 4 of trying to quit DD. Any setbacks in that plan then? Why yes. Yes there are. It’s a bad time to quit MD for me, because I want so badly to be absorbed in the political issues taking place across an ocean from me. I am pretty sure that Scotland is about to get a second chance at gaining its independence from the UK. 

I am a half-jewish American…

I just had the most moving DD tonight. 

I have been getting really into the drug DMT...not taking it just yet, but learning a lot about it. It is known as the queen mother of all psychedelic drugs....the possibilities of what you will "hallucinate" during the 5 minute trip are endless...you could experience god, your own death, that sort of thing. It's not a party drug. ;)

My alter-me just got finished telling another character the recent recap of when she took…

Coil- The Dreamer is Still Asleep:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZDnSvmv9J0

If this song does not speak to you, then no song written about trying to keep from daydreaming your life away ever will.

You know the artist who made this (Coil) has got to be a daydreamer himself. How else could one make such a resonant song about this subject? He gets it. :)

The lyrics also hit…

Hey Wild Minds,

I want to tell you that,

My Daydreams are destroying every area of my life. Slowly, but it's happening.

Trying to refrain from daydreaming completely, as I have been trying religiously to do for the past 4 days, is like trying to win a boxing match with a chloroform soaked rag tied around your face. Constantly struggling to rub your eyes…

I just handed in my final research paper for one of my classes.

Because I handed it in 3 days late, I got a B. My teacher has emphasized that I'm a good writer, with out-of-the-box perspectives, and a "poetic mind" as she call it (lol). I'm not bragging, just trying to emphasize what my grade could have been if I'd handed it in on time. It's a shame really. :(

Why was the paper late? Because my time management is pitiful. Why? Because maladaptive daydreaming…