I have become so indecisive and insecure. I can’t decide where to go , whether to go, when to go, what to order, what TV program to watch, what bag to carry, where to go 1^st if I go to get food. I am totally confused. I am also the hardest on myself. Almost demeaning myself when there is no one else to do it. Scolding myself for being indecisive, for being fat, for taking the wrong decisions, for being…

“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

I forgive myself. Or will try to. I deserve to be happy. I want to. I just don’t know how.

I always took my ability to write for granted. I didn’t realize being two years away from studying any subject that allowed me to exercise that ability I would lose my (according to me) flair to express myself/have an edge irrespective of what I was doing/have at least according to my imagination “to my hukum ka ikka” (ace in hole) .That edge whether imaginary or real served me well. Maybe it was an ability to respond to given material that training in the school system provided, not a…

“Be a better person. You can’t keep your personality out of the work. It’s impossible…. If you’re rigid or you’re distorting reality, it goes into the guitar. And when you play it, it comes back out. It’s disturbing. I used to believe that but I never had any proof of it. But I’ve played enough handmade guitars and then later met the maker. Sure enough, it’s inseparable….”

So true ... I have tried to keep the two separate, pushing me a point of…