So dizzy in my head right now...deep in depersonalization.  Numbness of my face.  Also a little nausea.  Trying to pinpoint what caused it today but I can't see anything.  I have been daydreaming a bit today but overall it has been ok, laughing and talking with co-workers.  Started about 2 hours ago.  Fairly good mood, less negative thoughts.  Again, just venting.  Thought maybe if I put it on paper I could see things clearer.  Continue

Hard time staying in the outside world and out of the inside world today.  And I've been at work all day.  Good days and bad days. Guess we all have them. 

really hard time focusing today.  kept drifting off back into my inside world. It's odd really.  Alot of my daydreams focus on me being harmed in some way but people are around to care and listen and protect me.  I could go all Freud and say that this is my way of dealing with my childhood feelings of not having anyone to protect me. Sometimes I feel like such a child.  I'm 38 years old. I need to get the freak over it.  Just venting. and ranting. Continue

She has everything in its place, the way it should be.

She has everything just so, the way it is supposed to be.

It all looks right.  No problems here.

Everything decorated with holiday cheer.

She walks the right way

She talks the right way

She laughs on queue

The world is a stage

And she is a star

And she always will be

Because she refuses

To let her fans

Her audience

Down.

She will not…

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Why does it have to be a hard knock life why don’t things change why don’t things get better why don’t things go away why is she awake why does she sleep why does she dream why does she sweat why does her heart pound why cant she breathe why is it dark why is she alone why do things happen why does she go why does she stay why does everyone go away why does time drag on why does time fly why does she let things pass her by why can’t she dig herself out Why 

 

Went to stay at a friend's house last night.  I should point out that my friend is a gay male; always felt more comfortable with gay males.  He knows the general background but doesn't know details of my childhood stuff.  He does not know about this though. Sat around watching It's Always Sunny in Philladelphia, which I had never seen.  Hilarious!  There was four of us and we just sat and watched tv and had a few drinks.  Took my mind off things and had a fairly normal evening.  2…

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hard day. crying. feeling abnormal. wishing i could tell someone all my deep dark secrets. say out loud what i can only write. but i cant. there is no one. so i do what i do best. write. get lost in the music. and dream there is. sing it bono... the best you can do is fake it. sometime you cant make it on your own.... Continue

Well, felt like I've been living in fantasy world too much and too emotional lately so I decided to see if there was anybody out there like me, which I seriously doubted.  WOW!  I feel better that I am not alone.  So I will introduce myself.  I am Stormy, 38 years old, and have lived in fantasy land for as long as I can remember.  I am and have always been able to keep my secret from everyone and live a 'normal' life...on the outside.  I am actually a licensed mental health counselor. Sometimes… Continue