I was walking across a parking lot with my baby sister today. I can't quite remember what I was daydreaming about, but before I knew it, she looked over at me, held her eyebrows together, and asked, "why are you smiling?" followed by a smile for herself. She wanted in on the joke. I suddenly felt the cold air on my body, along with the snow-water and reality leaking into my shoes, before looking away and saying "I saw somebody that I knew." 

It hurt to say that. Because I know that…

I made it a couple weeks without pacing. 

I relapsed recently- but in a different way than before. 

Usually, there was one place (my bedroom) where I could pace and daydream for hours. 

I've been able to avoid pacing there since February 14th, but in turn, I've begun pacing in other places, like a locked bathroom or the halls of my house when everyone is gone. It feels like a relapse, although the severity of the pacing is lowered because my time is limited and can be…