Hey! So by some miracle, I've finally managed to surpass my 14-day-streak of not maladaptive daydreaming. 33 days, woohoo!!! I'm just gonna tell you my thoughts and experiences in dot-points for the sake of time and ease:

• Despite still having strong urges to do it every now and then, it's starting to repulse me. Thinking about it reminds me of how horrible I would feel about myself after doing it.
• Even though I have not properly MDed for a month, it's still manifesting…

hiiii it's been a while

so lately I've been struggling with a lot of things, and then something hit me. If I didn't have MD for the majority of my life, I might've been able to achieve what I have dreamt of. Maybe if I didn't lose all those hours to it, I could've developed the social skills and intelligence to get what I wanted by now. I always dreamy of revenge of people who've hurt me, but I can't execute those plans now, I don't know I'm just writing stuff. It just hurts me to…

Reading some blog posts on here made me realise something - my MD has set me back years. I had a distorted view of who I wanted to be through my daydreams - a violent person surrounded by drama and boys. And I realized, this is what I wanted when I was in primary school. I didn't want this to be my life when I'm out in the real world. But I was still clinging to this version of me, one with anger issues who can do whatever she wanted. 

A few months ago, I had some time without my…

I just had my longest streak of not doing it - 3 days! 

I've managed to not let my usual triggers get to me, by either avoiding them or by throwing myself into another thing altogether to distract me. The trigger I'm struggling with is socialising - hanging out with friends and talking seems to have the biggest impact on me. I don't know how to keep it under control, I keep caving. I understand it's triggered because I want to be seen as cool or normal, but I already have friends who…