Where wild minds come to rest
Day 1 - I've been Maladaptive Daydreaming for over four years now, and I know that it's time to stop. I've recently been able to improve my life, but am facing some obstacles right now and want to clear my mind and focus on improvement. Today I spent a huge amount of time in depression and daydreaming, trying to escape my current circumstances and overlooking all the blessings in my life. I truly believe that all our lives have so much value, value beyond our imagination, and that we should try our hardest to recognize that value. So right now, I will take small steps, starting off by forgiving myself for all the mistakes I have made, and calmly take on whatever I need to do.
Day 55 - A persistent problem I'm experiencing is allowing myself to feel my current situations. However, with systematic practice watching my feelings and emotions, I'm slowly but surely improving. Sometimes it's difficult to imagine your life without MD, but that's exactly what I must make myself do in order to progress. I must not forget that there's so much life has to offer, and we literally hold the keys to life's wonders within us. It's time to face my problems head on, time to be kind to myself, and learn how to enjoy life!
Day 59 - Today I really realized how much I need to stay in the moment. When I woke up, I felt ... actually slightly depressed. I became worried for a bit, but then realized that my depression was a result of the accumulation of many unfulfilled responsibilities. I knew at that point that I would have to take life on and start facing my problems. I realized that for so long, I had been ignoring my true goals and wishes, and allowed myself to get sidetracked in meaningless pursuits. I realized that this has to change.
Every time I post from now on, I will include one strategy, approach, or finding that might help me or anyone else loosen their association with daydreaming.
Tip #1: Live with purpose. When you live with purpose, the actions and events in your life take on a whole new meaning. You're able to stay positive towards tough times and take a different approach to life. You no longer let fear or difficulties be limiting factors, and willingly go towards whatever will allow you to fulfill your purpose. This new freedom, in turn, will reduce your urges to daydream, as you're allowing yourself to express the creativity and potential in your real life.
Day 69 - Today I am writing for a special reason. I have a major test coming up, and I want to give it everything I've got. My family is hoping that I will do my best, and I know I will. I just need to stay focused and put in the appropriate effort. I have identified three conditions in my life that have been greatly contributing to my Maladaptive Daydreaming:
1) Inferiority - For me, I feel like it's so easy to fall in the trap that I am not good enough because I haven't accomplished nearly as much as others have in their lives. However, I must consider a few points first. The first point is that I must ask myself what I consider achievements to be. I truely believe that everyone on this planet has a unique purpose, and that we must work towards fulfilling that purpose. Our purposes are different, so naturally what we must do in our lives differs by person. I need to focus on the actions that build my life's purpose. Next, I absolutely must remember that what we do is in NO WAY who we are. We are so much more, and we all have so much potential in our lives. Life is precious. We are all worthy, amazing beings, no matter how many mistakes we have made in the past.
2) Lack of Faith - Recently I've gotten side tracked into believing that just because I don't see my dreams manifested in front of me at the moment, that my dreams aren't possible. This can't be further from the truth. Life is dynamic, and I really believe that so much is possible if we truly put our minds to what we desire. It's important to have faith that everything will work out in the end, and that every experience is an opportunity to become better. We have to stay positive even during the most unpromising or even mundane of experiences. For example, if I find myself slipping into a daydream and worrying that I'll lose the resolve to push towards my goals in real life, I can gently plant my feet on the ground or move to a different room. Then, I can take a moment to take my experience in and remind myself that I'm strong enough to face my problems in real life.
3) Unoriginality - Not only would the world be boring if everyone was the same, but our societies as a whole wouldn't be able to function. I often find myself craving to live other people's lives, or at least wishing that certain characteristics of my life had been replaced by their characteristics. I realize that this way of thinking has not been serving me. While it's vital to constantly seek to improve your character, personality, and achievements, you must always embrace what you have in the moment. My purpose is not to live other people's lives. I have so much originality within me, just as every living being on earth does, and it is to the best interests of myself and those around me that I embrace the uniqueness of myself and live the life I came here to live.
With that, I know it's time to focus!
Day 73 - This afternoon and evening I worked really well. I was able to focus myself and be in the moment. I started getting carried away by MD for a while, believing that I could find happiness and peace through my daydreams. I know that the opposite is true. What I must do now is stay grounded in the moment, realize how much I have to be grateful for in my life, and move forward!
Day 75 - This morning and afternoon I handled my duties really well. However, beginning this evening, I have been getting a shower of daydreams. I feel like my daydreams haven't been this bad in such a long time. I think that maybe the looming work ahead of me may be triggering my daydreams. Here's my solution: I know I have a lot to accomplish tonight and tomorrow, so I will take a few breaths and realize that everything will be okay. Yes, I made some decisions today that I wish I hadn't, but I can't turn back time. I need to focus on the now and make the best out of what I have. There still is hope. I believe that it is our duty to realize our full potential and give back as much as possible, and in order to do that we must be kind and honest with ourselves first. By procrastinating, I am inflicting suffering upon myself. Instead, I must get started with my work immediately and continually encourage myself along the way. I'm far from perfect, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be the absolute best I can be!
Day 76 - I feel the Maladaptive Daydreams creeping up right now, so I will head in the opposite direction by taking care of my well-being and fulfilling my current duties. I embrace pain and discomfort, because in the end I know that they are just feelings, and I must work diligently towards what I need to do in life. Being alive is a privilege, and I embody this mindset by trying to base all my actions off this idea. I know that it's to my benefit to constantly put forth my best effort, and by doing so I will be more able to give back to others in need of help.
Day 83 - Today I really struggled with strong Maladaptive Daydreams, but in the process I realized a nice technique for dealing with those daydreams. I've realized that the nature and content of my daydreams has been changing over the years, and as a result what used to be really strong and reoccurring daydreams a few years ago have now completely lost their appeal. Taking advantage of this fact, whenever I experience a daydream, I can ask myself what I would have wanted my younger self to do when experiencing a daydream, and embrace the moment.
Day 86 - Today I've been experiencing ups and downs in terms of my mood. What has been helping though is listing out in my mind things that I am thankful for in my life. Even though this technique may not seem 100% effective in the moment, it usually helps put my mind on the right track.
where did Ulaan Gom go??
Day 126 - I definitely think it would be to my benefit to start journaling here regularly again. Today I hit a hard low, as my daydreams were more vivid and trapping than they have been in many months. Somehow, the daydreams felt draining, I guess because they were so addictive, and I just couldn't stand it. I felt an intense pain when thinking about the time I had wasted today and the problems I was facing in real life, and that pain triggered me to daydream more as an escape. I know that this is not a healthy cycle, and I strongly believe that there's a way out. This may sound really broad, but I really need to start changing my attitude towards life. I need to stop competing with others, as what we do and achieve in life is in no way representative of our worth as human beings. I need to become more loving and compassionate, and start thinking about others instead of just focusing on my problems. I need to forgive myself for my mistakes because I'm not perfect but that's perfectly okay. I definitely shouldn't be afraid to reach out to others and need to get rid of the mentality that I can do everything on my own. I'm hopeful for the future and know that I'll look back at this day with gratitude and appreciation, knowing that I made a step towards the right direction.
Day 127 - Today was actually really good for the most part. My mood was fairly positive and I was able to get a significant amount of work done. About a couple hours ago the MDD started creeping in. I need to catch it on its tracks because I still have a good amount of work left to do and I want my complete focus and mental attention while doing so. At the same time, I need to remember to be easy on myself if the daydreams do come and make sure to take care of my emotional needs.
Day 128 - This morning has been crazy intense with MDD. For the first few minutes after I woke up, I felt calm and relaxed, fully in touch with my reality. As time progressed though, my daydreams slowly kicked in and started taking over. I know I have a lot of work on my plate and that it can be stressful at times, but I choose to fully take advantage of my opportunities and live life to the fullest, which entails embracing painful and uncomfortable situations and feelings. I want to take it up as a challenge to focus on the greatness of reality and the world we're living in, as there's so much to be thankful for. I want to fully embrace all the feelings that come up in real life, and along the way assure myself that I'm doing just fine. I also want to stay focused in the present as much as possible, because if I do so, I can become happier overall and gain access to my true mind's potential.