Journey to a Life Free of Maladaptive Daydreaming

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 1 - I've been Maladaptive Daydreaming for over four years now, and I know that it's time to stop. I've recently been able to improve my life, but am facing some obstacles right now and want to clear my mind and focus on improvement. Today I spent a huge amount of time in depression and daydreaming, trying to escape my current circumstances and overlooking all the blessings in my life. I truly believe that all our lives have so much value, value beyond our imagination, and that we should try our hardest to recognize that value. So right now, I will take small steps, starting off by forgiving myself for all the mistakes I have made, and calmly take on whatever I need to do.

[Ulaan Gom]

Thank you for the encouragement, maro! I'm still in the process, but I know I'm getting there. What steps did you take to free yourself of daydreaming if you don't mind sharing? So far becoming more busy has served to curb my daydreaming frequency, but recently it has been having the opposite. I become so stressed out by the work ahead of me (and beat down by the time I had wasted) and as a result start daydreaming as an escape, wasting even more time in the process. However, as I take a deep breath in now, I realize that what I want and need more than ever is to focus, accept the time loss, and move on with my situations. It feels very difficult to move forward at the moment, but after a bit of momentum, it will become much easier! 

maro said:

I stopped day dreaming Ulaan which was wonderful to feel i really hope you too :D

[Ulaan Gom]

I was going to post two days ago but I never saved my writing. I think it's about time that I resume my journaling on my maladaptive daydreaming. I would say that I'm at a very pivotal point in my life. High school is winding down, and I am going to graduate in less than a month. About six months ago, around the time I made my last post on this discussion, I was bombarded with a wave of work and at times felt overwhelmed. During that time, I promised myself that when my schedule would free up around this time, I would dedicate as much time as I could towards activities that would allow me to live the most enriching lifestyle I possibly could. I wanted to dedicate time towards pursuing a hobby, exercising more, learning about interesting subjects, and spending a greater amount of time with friends. So far I haven't really lived up to those expectations, and instead often found myself questioning what I could do with my time. Ironically as my time has started to free up, I've noticed that my maladaptive daydreams have become stronger and more intense. My self-confidence has slightly decreased and my insecurity increased, and I feel that dissatisfaction with my current position and a desire to feel better about myself have really driven me to daydreaming more frequently. From experience, I fully realize how I am able to take in substantially less from my life experience when I am daydreaming frequently as opposed to when I am not. When I am not daydreaming, I have greater willpower, greater motivation to get things done in real life, a greater acceptance and understanding of my current situation, greater likelihood to take constructive risks, and overall a much easier time socializing with others. Life with less daydreaming overall for me feels more raw, but at the same time more constructive and more tangible. I desperately want to take full advantage of my resources, time, and energy to improve my life and the lives of those around me. I want to be especially resourceful with what I have since I will soon be experiencing a major transition in my life. As a result, starting yesterday I decided to dedicate 20 minutes a day working on art while listening to motivational videos. I've found the combination of those two activities extremely inspiring and even life changing, and I hope that the extra inspiration from the daily routine may help curb my excessive maladaptive daydreaming. From a moment to moment basis, I will utilize journaling and deep breathing to keep me grounded in the present.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 2 - Over the last two days I really think I was able to recognize my daydreams to a greater extent, and curb the frequency of those daydreams. I often find myself questioning my motivations for trying to overcome MDD. I have to realize that I strongly believe that I can significantly improve the quality of my life my ridding myself of involuntarily and excessively daydreaming. I believe I can greatly benefit from the improved presence of mind and increased self-acceptance that I can more easily cultivate once I stop relying on this mental escape system.

[Ulaan Gom]

Haha thanks I really need to get back into journaling because I want to overcome MDD for good!

Shaai said:

Hey thanks keep on going buddy the posts you have made is helping me a lot

[Ulaan Gom]

Today I really have to resume journaling here again. I know that it has escaped my schedule but I really need to make journaling about MDD a top priority this summer. Like I said two months ago, I am about to experience a major transition in my life, and I want to be able to live my life in the truest possible manner to myself and have the ability to be disciplined and face uncomfortable situations. So today I found myself daydreaming very often, which has been the general pattern of the last couple months. I've dreamt about how it would be immensely cool if I could learn and achieve certain things, so now is the time to fulfill those goals. Now is the time to take my time seriously, set timed goals for myself, and focus myself on becoming more grounded in the present. This is all so immensely important and I cannot let go of this opportunity. I need to get out of my head to become a safer driver and overall apply my skills to the best of my ability!

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 1 - I definitely feel that today my daydreams have been somewhat more controlled than before. I've been paying more attention towards curbing them, and as a result I feel a bit more engaged in my real life. I still have a lot of work to do. I need to work on accepting myself for who I am and my current situation for what it is, but overall I am confident that I can take steps towards doing so. I always need to remember how much of my potential MDD is hindering, and chase after realizing that missing potential. I need to work on setting my life up for success and using my time wisely.

[Fallen Messenger]

That is awesome! I hope that happens more often to you to help you overcome MD. Keep going at it! I find that whenever I stand in front of a mirror I almost always am put into a daydream, idk why, but I've resolved to cover up my mirror except for when I'm actually using to help overcome my daydreams! Good luck on journey!

Ulaan Gom said:

Day 18 - Today I had a pivotal daydreaming experience. This afternoon, I caught myself in a daydream, explaining a subject passionately to someone. This time though, I was grounded enough in the present moment to fully recognize the fact I was daydreaming and diminish the daydream's reality. I asked myself at that moment, "who am I talking to?" This question triggered a wave of emotions, as I realized I was by myself emotionally investing myself in a daydream that was masking the emptiness of reality. I realized from that point, I would have to start treating myself with more love and acceptance, and take steps to address my loneliness problem in real life.

[Ulaan Gom]

Thank you so much! Daydreams have permeated my day to day life so much that I really need to take a moment to step back from them and really focus on what I want in real life. I've noticed that when I'm sitting on a chair, firmly planting my feet on the ground greatly helps diminish my daydreams. Like you, I am also trying to avoid my triggers as much as possible, because the more I am away from daydreaming, the stronger I can become at grounding myself in real life, and hopefully eventually what were once my triggers won't trigger me as much anymore.

Fallen Messenger said:

That is awesome! I hope that happens more often to you to help you overcome MD. Keep going at it! I find that whenever I stand in front of a mirror I almost always am put into a daydream, idk why, but I've resolved to cover up my mirror except for when I'm actually using to help overcome my daydreams! Good luck on journey!

Ulaan Gom said:

Day 18 - Today I had a pivotal daydreaming experience. This afternoon, I caught myself in a daydream, explaining a subject passionately to someone. This time though, I was grounded enough in the present moment to fully recognize the fact I was daydreaming and diminish the daydream's reality. I asked myself at that moment, "who am I talking to?" This question triggered a wave of emotions, as I realized I was by myself emotionally investing myself in a daydream that was masking the emptiness of reality. I realized from that point, I would have to start treating myself with more love and acceptance, and take steps to address my loneliness problem in real life.

[kirti]

If we are Daydreaming we can not think in straight way.our mind is always messed up with totally unreal thoughts.Since it became addiction for us it is really hard to stop it.

We have to deal with anxiety/depression if we want to stop daydreaming.

We need to make our real image(that includes self-esteem and social interaction) strong enough so that we don't need MD to live our life. 

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 2 - I agree with you completely on this point. Honestly I believe that the desire to daydream may diminish significantly or disappear altogether if we begin to live our real lives how we've always wanted them to be. That point of dealing with our problems in real life must be a serious focus in this fight against excessive daydreaming. Today I felt like my daydream frequencies were even lower than before, largely due to the fact that I have journaled here the last couple days and have solidified my intention to catch myself when I daydream and control my thoughts. I've also been setting new long-term goals for my life, which has been helping tremendously. I've noticed that if I don't give myself enough tasks to accomplish for a given day, I let myself slide off and waste more time daydreaming. However, if I list out more things to do, I may not complete all of them, but at least I will be more productive, get more done, and likely spend less time daydreaming.

kirti said:

If we are Daydreaming we can not think in straight way.our mind is always messed up with totally unreal thoughts.Since it became addiction for us it is really hard to stop it.

We have to deal with anxiety/depression if we want to stop daydreaming.

We need to make our real image(that includes self-esteem and social interaction) strong enough so that we don't need MD to live our life. 

[kirti]

You are going in right direction. I appreciate your efforts. we have to leave our comfort zone first in order to stop this behavior.Making busy ourselves all the time is best way. In addition to this we can also focus on making ourselves more better like directly expressing ourselves to this world,improving our self-esteem,etc for permanently stopping this behavior.Don't blame the self if you can't stop daydreaming totally.It takes time.

[Ulaan Gom]

Day 3 - This morning I was daydreaming significantly more frequently than I had been the previous day. However, one I got myself occupied in some necessary tasks, this daydreaming tendency decreased. 

Kirti, I agree that we have to leave our comfort zones in order to more effectively live a life free of MD. For me, I feel that practicing certain routine things daily (such as exercise, reading, or learning a new skill) and keeping ourselves busy is an effective way of developing discipline. Over time, this discipline gives us the will power to stretch outside our comfort zones and take on challenges in real life, providing a sense of fulfillment and growth that makes daydreaming less appealing.

It definitely takes a significant amount of time to completely stop daydreaming, and it will be a long process with many ups and downs. However, I do want to improve certain things in my real life such as my self-esteem, self-expression, and my talents and skills. Pursuits towards those directions may not completely eliminate daydreaming at first, but over time will have a tremendous effect on MDD tendencies.